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I'm doomed to be like you...

“I want to be like you.” I told my mother with absolutely nothing else to do but watch television.
“Yeah, why’s that?” She was sitting beside me with her morning coffee that consisted of more alcohol then coffee. I turned to look at her face. The deep stress winkles, mess up grease hair, fake blue eyes, and a torn up t-shirt my step dad owned. She took another sip of her coffee then looked at me. Her breathe smelled like vomit and stale un-brushed teeth, acid breathe I thought.
“Because,” I said turning back to the life time movie but watching her from the corner of my eye.
She cocked an un-plucked eyebrow and looked back at the television too. “That’s not a reason.” She took another sip.
“Do you really want to know?” I knew my answer would hurt her even before nodded her head. “Because I can feel sorry for myself when no one else does.” I stood up and looked at her surprised eyes, the smeared eyeliner staining her creased skin. She didn’t say anything but when she took a breath I shook my head and walked toward the front door of our apartment.
When the door closed behind me I thought I heard her yell for me to get back in there but I wasn’t listening. Maybe, even though I might have not realized it when I said it, but I meant to hurt her. To let her finally feel the pain and embarrassment I felt. But at that moment I didn’t care because I was thinking if I lied to her or not. Did I really want to be like her or was I doomed from the start?



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This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

RLJoy said...
Oct. 8, 2009 at 4:43 pm
wow, it was really well written. Il oved it!
 
BeccaBlue826 replied...
Oct. 19, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! :)
 
RLJoy said...
Oct. 8, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Wow, this was very well written. It was great!!!!!!!!!!
 
Abigail_W said...
Jul. 24, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Although I'm fifty percent mom and fifty percevt dad, there's only one person I want to be like: me.
 
BeccaBlue826 replied...
Sept. 17, 2009 at 2:39 pm
I replied really late but I understand. But I think I try so hard to get away from my parents image the deeper I step into it.
 
His-Bright-Green-Eyes... said...
Jul. 4, 2009 at 3:34 pm
it was wonderfully written. I loved it. You really brought out felling into it.
 
BeccaBlue826 replied...
Nov. 5, 2009 at 3:55 pm
I think there is alot of feeling because it's mostly true. I try to pull the emotion I had at the time and write it down. :)
 
BeccaBlue826 said...
Jun. 29, 2009 at 8:51 pm
my insperation was my real mom...even though i love her i still don't want to be like her...but doesn't everyone feel that way?
 
brina said...
Jun. 7, 2009 at 11:33 pm
Wow what was your insperation for this it is amazing
 
BeccaBlue826 replied...
Nov. 5, 2009 at 3:56 pm
......my mom:)
 
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