“Yes Mom, I’ll meet you after school by the tennis courts.” This was the one thing I wish I had never lied about. Because if I hadn’t skipped school that one day to go fulfill my desire to play hooky, I wouldn’t be in this situation. And if I had told my mother that I wouldn’t be there when she came to pick me up, her remains wouldn’t be lying in a large jar in my hands. If I had just gone to school that day and ignored my longing to fit in with all of the other “cool kids” in the grade, my mother would still be here. But I was young, and didn’t know better. You see, if I hadn’t been so selfish my mother wouldn’t have been worrying about me all afternoon. She had been driving all around town looking for me. If I would have just met my mother after school, she would have never been on 34th street, and she would have never have been struck by a drunk driver. So please listen to my story and never make the mistake I did. I used to look in a mirror, and see a girl that was not only motherless, but a murderer. For years I have carried my mother’s death on my shoulders. But now I see, that it was just bad timing, and that God chose my mother that day. So this is the day I let go, and accept. With that, I swiftly opened the lid of the decorated vessel, and let the wind sweep my mother’s remains out of the jar and into the air. As the remains floated off with the wind I felt all of my guilt, and pain wash away like a wave rolling off the beach.
I Paid the Price
May 7, 2009