Seeing Autumn | Teen Ink

Seeing Autumn

February 25, 2020
By Lyric-lover-ky BRONZE, Olympia, Washington
Lyric-lover-ky BRONZE, Olympia, Washington
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition, to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded." -Ralph Waldo Emerson


It had been months since I had been outside. Though the scars had healed my sight would never return. I couldn't quite remember everything, it had been years since I had been back home. And now with my sight gone, I would truly never see it again.

"Jack? Are you ready to go?" I could hear a musical voice ring out. That must be Ava she had been taking care of me for these past few months. I always had found my self just ever so slightly in better spirits when she was around.

...

"Would you tell me what it looks like today?" I asked for the millionth time in our time together. Our hands were laced so I wouldn't fall and she could guide me.

"Of course, hmm.. if you look at the sky it has wisps of clouds that kinda look like how cotton candy would feel on your tongue and the sky- um" I feel her hand pull me towards a different path. We had been following the same path for weeks, I know it by heart. Why would we stray from the path?

"Where are we going?" I ask a small pang of fear appearing in my chest as we walk into the unknown.

"I needed an example to tell you the next piece, don't worry I won't let you fall. And I promise it's not far" Her voice soothed the nerves slightly but as soon as she stopped I felt a bit a fear stir again. I gripped her hand tighter.

"Okay here, " She gently as she set my hand in what must be a liquid of some sort. "It's water If you can imagine that a brook of water where it is light and shallow. That is how the color blue looks up there, cool and crisp and light."

I could visualize every word she said as the world around me suddenly came into what she told me. Each element, more magical than the last. I felt her carefully take my hand and place something in it. It felt rough and almost crunchy in my hand.

"It's one of the leaves, this is a maple tree, some of its leaves are bigger than your hands! They rang to all sorts of colors but they are all warm, kinda like a fire. The reds are like sunburns you get in the summer and- wait," I feel her hands leave mine and for a minute, what felt like a protective warmth pulled away.

"Here," I feel a semicircle object place in my hand. "Open your mouth." I do as she says and curious and also questioning but I do it none the less.
I taste a tangy sweetness.

"An orange!" I remarked feeling proud that I remembered. "Correct!" I can hear the smile in her voice, she seems pleased.

"Okay back to the topic, some of the leaves also have that tropical and tangy color of orange. And then some are yellow, which kinda are like sunshine warming your body or sweet and nourishing taste of bananas. The bark is corse and rough like rocks and sand. The color is like earth something that protects the beauty and is strong and hard yet allows life to thrive and-"

"Can ask you a question?"

"Oh, of course, what's up?"

"What do you look like?" It's a question I had been meaning to ask, she had explained the world in such beauty but I had yet to know who the people were, what they looked like. And it seemed like she was the first person I would want to be able to "see".
She pauses, I know it had seemed she had always found a way out of this question but I did want to know. And I would ask straight out if I had too.

"Oh well-um I have straggly long brown hair it kinda is like earth, um my eyes are kinda depressing stone color... " her hand is trembling slightly.

"I don't believe that"

"Why wouldn't you believe that?"

"Because the way you describe yourself is not beautiful and I know for a fact you are beautiful."

"No, you don't"

"Yes I dO"

" You can't even see me! You don't know if I'm beautiful or ugly you have no way to know-" I hear her cut herself off like she just offended me. She was right, but I was right too.

"You want to know why I know you're beautiful? Your beautiful in the way I can hear the smile in your voice you are beautiful in the way you put everyone before yourself. You are beautiful in the way that instead of only doing your job you are willing to sit out here and explain the world to me, that you explain with colors and beauty that some cease to see. I was part of that group but now... even though I cannot see, I see the colors and life around me like never before, and its all thanks to you. You are beautiful for your soft hands' which you allow me to hold every day, and for the kindness, you are always willing to share. The fact, you always are willing to help others feel better about themselves. Beauty is not measured by what someone looks like, it's by who they are as a person. And you, are by far the most beautiful person I've ever seen."

I feel her pull her hand away, oh no, did I push too far? I guess no point in stopping now

"And I know that you lied about how you look earlier because if you can explain a tree, in the amount of magic and imagery that you did, your description of yourself is incorrect. Because I know you are more beautiful than a tree."

"Also-" I feel something wrap around me causing me a pang of fear, what was going on?!

I struggle a little only to hear her voice whisper "It's a hug, It's okay" and immediately I relaxed.
I held my breath my arms cautiously wrapping around her in a hug, and we sit there in silence both thinking over every word that has been said between us.
I hesitate. My hands carefully find a way to her face, I hold it gently as I speak softly. "Now, beautiful can you explain how you look?"
I feel her breath come out as a deep sigh, but she doesn't pull away. " I'll try"
"I have... hair that has a color that is smooth like chocolate, but sort of brittle like fine sand... I have eyes like the rumble of thunder before a storm, or maybe like the navy sea how it slams against the rock... I'm tall about the hight of the second cabinet in the kitchen of your house. And I have freckles spotting my nose like the cinnamon you taste in snickerdoodles," I hear a little smile in her voice and I close my eyes as to imagine what she looks like. I love hearing her speak, it's like small music notes, each word making up a sentence just like notes make up a tune. I suppose when you lose a sense you rely more on the others... I guess she helped me explore them.
She brings me little treats, lets me experience new textures and relive old ones. Shows me songs, and just all over talks to me. I feel like I know, with just a short sentence or her squeezing my hand. I'm safe, I'm healing and I'm... I'm happy.
I guess she taught me how to see in a new way.
I smile as I hold her close, I don't think I could ever thank her enough for all she has done. When I lost my sight, I thought I had lost everything... But in truth, I may have just found something better.
She hums a few notes from one of her favorite songs and we sit close seeing autumn in a brand new way.


The author's comments:

This piece is about Jack who lost his sight due to an accident and his caretaker/ friend Ava who though kind to others has a strong dislike to herself. It's meant to show that if we listen to others and really think, we can see the world in a different way. And no matter your physical or mental pain you deserve love and compassion. 


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