It's simple to say that this one will work out. You put the past behind you. All those cold nights in some other guys apartment were simply wasted moments and you put them in the back of your mind. The first kiss of summer was innocence just waiting to be destroyed. You grow up and suddenly things are different. You're more mature, you've gained some patience, and you give more chances. But your heart still breaks the same. It still hurts. You still seek out something to kill the pain and cry until the morning skyline discovers the building where you're hiding out. You still hope you're wrong and that he will come around. That phone will light up underneath your hand and God willing he does miss you and regret what he's done. But he doesn't and you shouldn't either. He was the one that maybe saved your freshman year for two weeks and now he is just the boy across the way. And he was the closest thing you felt to truth and being safe, and now he's gone too.
April 25, 2009