I forgive you

April 25, 2009
By Evvyon SILVER, Richardson, Texas
Evvyon SILVER, Richardson, Texas
9 articles 3 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.


It came out as a skeptical whisper, that was only acknowledged in existence by the fact that the soft vapor cloud of her breath escaped her icy, blue, lips.

I wondered how such a blithe girl like Miranda who was normally very tenacious could belittle herself to begging me, the bullied and marred girl who was her enemy.
“Forgive me Anna,” again the paucity of volume in her voice summoned me to again look at her.

Her blond hair -- that was envied by almost everybody who went to our school -- hung in lank, wet, clumps surrounding her contrite and solemn, icy eyes.

“I have hurt you so much. Please! Forgive me,” her voice became more futile.

“I'm not sure I could ever forgive you,” I stated.

“I didn't want to hurt you, I swear I only wanted for him to love me.”
I laughed in dissent, and crazy and fallacious laugh.

Miranda started to cry, big round tears slowly dripped out of the corners of her eyes making her look even more pathetic.

“You killed my brother,” I said between my insane laughter.

“I didn't know he would protect you so much,” she choked out.

“That only sounds like an excuse Miranda,” I was whispering now.

“That's why I tried to end my life here! The place where it all started! I'm too useless! I couldn't even kill myself,” she was sobbing in the most helpless way now, making me almost feel pity towards her, almost.

I remembered that on a night quite like this one, only with more trepidation, Miranda put my life in jeopardy. She attempted to pull a cruel prank on me however, it went horribly wrong. I couldn't blame her for the storm, or the rip currents that day, but I could blame her for throwing me in the water that day knowing that I was a weak swimmer. I know she only did it so that she could make it look as if she tried save me and therefore, get in my brother's good graces. I'm so sure she would feel regret if I did die that day, of course I'm being sarcastic.

She loved my brother with such a vehemence that she wanted me out of the picture, but it was her fault he died. Her fault that I lost the last member in my family, and I could never forget it was her fault for doing that.

My brother was on the beach the day Miranda threw me in the water, and he heard my futile screams when the rip currents, pulled me further and further away from the beach. Miranda couldn't have foreseen that there would be rip currents that day, so I couldn't blame her for that, but it was her fault I was in the water that day. It was her fault that my brother had to swim out after me and pull me out of the current, losing his life in the process. I remembered that moment very clearly, him being so exhausted because he swam out to save me, he had no rigor left to keep his head above the water. His head went below the waves and that was the last time I ever saw him.

Miranda was never the same again, she could never condone herself for what she had done. She had even attempted suicide right before my eyes on countless occasions, but she never succeeded because I was always there to save her, not because I liked her or forgave her of course, but because I knew my brother would never have had forgave me if I had let her pass away.

“Anna, why is the world so cruel? How could this have happened to me? How could I have lost the person I loved so much?” She was sobbing so hard her words were almost incomprehensible, but I knew what she was asking.

“It was because of hate, Miranda. It was because you hated me with such rigor, because you couldn't stand for him to love me as much as he loved you,” I was calmer now, and I chose my words with care.

“Anna I'm dying, this time you couldn't save me, please Anna just once say you will forgive me.”

Her words rung with honesty, I knew she was dying as well, she was in the icy cold waters too long to be okay, and even if she didn't die today, she was already dead on the inside.

“Miranda, I forgave you a long time ago although, I still blame you for what happened, he wouldn't have wanted me to hate you. He would have told me that animosity leads to hurt,” I looked down at her as I spoke.

Tears were still pouring down her face, and her breath was becoming more and more shallow, but the still managed to whisper, “Anna I'm so sorry... sorry... so sorry.”

Miranda was right I wasn't able to save her that day, but I saved her from my animosity with my forgiveness, the way he would have wanted me too, and that is the best we could all do.

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This article has 34 comments.

on Mar. 29 2010 at 4:49 pm
PalindromeGirl BRONZE, Beverly, Massachusetts
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
while I agree with others that this story was VERY well-written, I also agree with others' opinions that it was slightly too dramatic. However, I think the soap-opera feeling we get from it could be easily cured with some more detail of what she's thinking, like if she remembers all the good times she had with her brother or if you cut out just some of the drama. Sometimes dark pieces can seem much more realistic with some light thrown in. (Believe me, I always write too-sad stories). Otherwise you've really got great writing skills, keep it up!

on Mar. 7 2010 at 7:05 pm
ShantelTheAuthor BRONZE, North Carrollton, Mississippi
4 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you think you can do it go for it!

can anyone read my story it's called The screams of a silent girl"

SKaster said...
on Mar. 7 2010 at 2:15 pm
It's a nice concept and pretty well written, except for the soap opera bit that people say. I suggest though not throwing in random words that don't match with your style; it seems like you're trying to use the vocabulary you learned in school. That's perfectly fine, but try to concentrate more on what's natural than what you think is a big word. For example, "...such a blithe girl like Miranda who was normally very tenacious..." and "paucity of volume." I remember an old english teacher saying you think these words make you sound older but once you're actually older you realize it sounded juvenile. But you have good ideas.

on Mar. 7 2010 at 11:00 am
whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
14 articles 1 photo 112 comments
this is amazing!

on Feb. 13 2010 at 4:56 pm
turn_it_up(: SILVER, Overland Park, Kansas
8 articles 0 photos 13 comments
loved it! (: thats all i'm gonna say! (:

on Dec. 31 2009 at 8:36 pm
aliciajenae BRONZE, Vancouver, Washington
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Honestly I do not have one...at the moment anyhow.

I agree. Although it was very, very, well written, it seemed too fake. Personally I do not like that, but there are people that do. Therefore, there is no problem with that; just not my personal taste. Keep writing! You are amazing at it!

on Dec. 31 2009 at 12:46 pm
sasssgirrrl22 PLATINUM, Pearl River, New York
29 articles 0 photos 267 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Giving up is not a part of my vocabulary."
"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."
"Truth be told I miss ya, truth be told I'm lying."

wow. this is amazing. truly touching

on Dec. 9 2009 at 4:50 pm
addisonmc521 GOLD, Oak Harbor, Ohio
12 articles 16 photos 27 comments

on Dec. 9 2009 at 2:53 pm
carolinestarr PLATINUM, Ellicott City, Maryland
28 articles 2 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's not about who we are, but who we choose to be."

oh my god!!!! this is wonderful. really amazing.

on Dec. 9 2009 at 9:02 am
AnneOnnimous BRONZE, Peterborough Ontario, Other
3 articles 0 photos 147 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself."
— John Green

well, its good, there sno denying that. however, it sort of felt like reading a soap opera- there was lots of drama, the story behind it was sort of ridiculous, and there was a bit too much emotion. But it was still really good

windblossom said...
on Dec. 5 2009 at 7:35 am
windblossom, Hyderabad, Other
0 articles 19 photos 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The caterpillar does all the hard work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity"

really well written! :)

Cassandra said...
on Nov. 22 2009 at 8:44 pm
Amazing. Simply captivating.

You do have some talent, there. My only concern is the amount of emotion in this story. For some, it's the right amount, but for me it was just a little over the top. As is, it's pretty good. Keep working at it, edit, revise, edit, revise, and repeat till perfection. You might have something even novel-worthy!

Nene_Black said...
on May. 17 2009 at 11:11 pm
Pretty good!

I like the story like, theres just a lot of repetition that you may have been able to avoided if you proof read it more.

on May. 8 2009 at 1:11 pm
*LunaNight* GOLD, Staten Island, New York
12 articles 0 photos 46 comments


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