Wear Your Seatbelt

April 22, 2009
Suddenly, the car was completely out of control. One of the tires had hit an animal (not that it mattered) and changed the direction of the car. Alex screamed as he braced himself for the impact and he was thrown through the glass. He, of all stupid things, had forgotten to wear his seat belt. He would have to pay the consequences for his stupid actions.

The feeling of flying through the air was almost exhilarating and would have been if he hadn’t been completely intoxicated, completely immobilized by fear. He couldn’t really think as he felt his body being blasted into thin air, all that was between him and the ground- another physical impact. He knew it was coming but was frozen like ice. He couldn’t move to protect himself, but he knew that he would shatter like glass, crumble to pieces like a broken china doll. He really was fragilely human. He’d never stopped to realize that before, but he was forced to now.

Finally, he was able to cease contemplating this as his body slammed into solid ground painfully and a compressing feeling rushed all air out of his lungs. A draft of cold air blew, and he laid completely still.

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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

BellaLuna said...
Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:36 am
this was great. i would like more! so he was drunk? anyways i guess its true not to drive mad either because well ur mad, anyways this was great check out mine i have some tragic stories there i love this so much and hope you can writee more you prejected great images and keep it up!
PK4evr This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 2, 2009 at 8:49 pm
No, he wasn't drunk, but a lot of people get behind the wheel drunk so that's why I mentioned it. Alex didn't actually die although this is assumed. This is an excerpt from a much longer story, but the story is way too long to go on Teenink so I'm keeping it to myself for now. By the way, Alex was also really mad because his best friend was pushing some of the wrong buttons...
SilentQ said...
Jul. 5, 2009 at 12:23 am
Like hbwriter said make us like Alex more and though sometimes it can be good for the story to be short, but this is just too short. The word stupid is a little repetitive in the first paragraph. Also the last paragraph seems a little unreal to me. Overall, though it's good and a great message!
PK4evr This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 2, 2009 at 8:47 pm
I guess that's just Alex for you... this is from a book that has already been written, and Alex is already known/liked hopefully by now. This is not actually a story :P.
sallyloco said...
Jun. 17, 2009 at 11:25 pm
I like that. It was really good!! ;)
amyxu said...
Jun. 5, 2009 at 7:08 pm
I enjoyed the great images throughout your story. A few tips, though: the first word, "suddenly" is completely unnecessary. It makes assumptions about the reader's capacity to understand the story and it also makes the opening way less suspenseful. Also, the line "another physical impact" (right after "it was between him and the ground") is confusing and threw me off.
One last idea (and this one is just me, I'm just throwing it out there)you could have the 2nd and 3rd sentences swap... (more »)
PK4evr This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 2, 2009 at 8:46 pm
In my actual story, Alex has already been introduced and has been a main character... this is just an excerpt. Most of my fiction on here are excerpts from the same story.
hbwriter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 28, 2009 at 8:05 pm
OK. Weird. I liked the idea, but you could have made it a more in depth and suspensful story. Making us like Alex would make it more of a shock when he died. I kind of suspected the ending. But I love that you're putting this important message out there.
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