Switch | Teen Ink

Switch

February 18, 2009
By caitlin lavange BRONZE, Pleasant Grove, Utah
caitlin lavange BRONZE, Pleasant Grove, Utah
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Blurred and mixed colors spin through her mind, colliding into one another. All of a sudden a blurred object becomes clear. A long, striking body is cascading back and forth in the perfect rhythm. She knows she is beautiful and she portrays it ever so gracefully. How can an average human body do such captivating things? Is that even normal? Her amazing sculpted, long feet are pointed strong. She makes dancing look easy. She is then about to make her grand pirouette finale. She takes her prep stance and goes for it. One, two, three and her face hits the floor. The judges still mesmerized suddenly realize her fate. Hot and sweaty Emma wakes up in a snap. Still distraught she jumps out of her damp bed. She then runs to her vanity mirror, staring at herself. The sorrow and embarrassment come into play. Reality must rise to the surface, she tears up from the horrible haunting nightmare that keeps playing like a broken record for the past week. Depressed and drained she throws her aching head into her shaking hands. So unfortunate, and so quickly can one thing switch to another. Her planned out life, fate, and destiny gone. Switched from her mind of happiness and un-doubtfulness that she was going to be accepted into Julliard ballet school…and now that dream is gone. The nightmare of her failing however, didn’t leave. Looking up at herself with eyes so lost and darkened she said to herself quietly but surely, “Something should be done about this.”



Now Emma hasn’t exactly had the most happy and idolized life. Her father, a very confused with happiness but very hardworking businessman, left her and Emma’s mother when Emma could only speak 1-word sentences and critically needing constant love and attention. Her mother, a love-strucken, beautiful woman had other dreams and priorities in her life to achieve. Its funny how one day it’s all fun and games and then the next day your life can switch from one world to another….pregnant at sixteen. Emma grew up determined to leave her broken home and fill up her life everyday with her natural talent and passion…dance. She worked extremely hard for herself to take dance lessons, straining herself physically and emotionally with school, babysitting, and little jobs. Her mom was never around with a full time job and her pride in the way…she seemed to have blamed her daughter for her situation. One fall day at fifteen years old Emma for once had a light in her eyes, Emma’s father, for whatever motives he had, had arranged and promised with Emma’s mother to meet her somewhere and spend the day together. Emma’s absent father, when he left, had achieved great thing for himself, mostly financially. He was the vice president of a successful car company. He was still miserable even with the big bucks rolling in. Emma ended up waiting for a half an hour at her local town’s gas station. Her father was at his office ready to leave when his loyal secretary knocked rapidly at his glass door. “Come in.” he quickly shouted. His secretary wide-eyed said “Sir, some eager and hungry press are waiting for you downstairs, you are wanted.” He glanced, knowingly of Emma at the clock then back to his secretary’s green sparkling eyes. “Would you like me to switch your schedule for the day?” “Yes, thank you.” He said. Undeserving, selfish, and almost inhuman, little did he know or care of the effect he had on his hopeful daughter Emma.


The crisp slightly dull colored leaves dance in the October breeze, while she stood there she began loosing more and more hope. Another hour passed and she finally decided to stop fooling herself. She left that day with a wound that would scar her forever.


She wasn’t thinking clearly letting every angry thought wrap around her conscious and suffocate it with hate and revenge. She took the old smelly bus to her next destination. She then thought about what caused the fallout of her dreams. She was at the audition warming up her muscles. You could feel the tension and nervousness as you stepped into the waiting room from all the ballerina’s. Emma’s number 226 pinned on her soft, black leotard. As she swiftly zipped open her bag she realized she forgot the most important and treasured thing of her career….the right ballet shoes. She panicked as a shooting wind pain of anxiety kept pulsing up and down into her stomach, her eyes welt up, she felt sweat drops be born on her pasted back dark hair. “Oh my god, how could I….” Just then she saw two light pink legs stand in front of her, a tall slim figured girl simply asked if she could help her with anything. Emma burst into rapid tears, “I brought the wrong ballet shoes! I have been dancing for 10 years and I was in such a hurry that I must have switched the right ones for these.” The girls light blue eyes gleamed. “Well I have good news, I am here to save your life, I actually brought my second pair to be safe and we have the same size, switch me?” Emma felt calmer and took what seemed to be her own angel’s shoes. Strangely this “angel” was there for her when no one has ever been. This obviously wasn’t the work of an angel, but the devil from Emma’s perspective and I only turned out to be a disaster. Emma blamed the girl instantly and she was determined to make her pay. The bus driver yelled her stop and Emma quickly pulled the stop cord and stepped off. She stood in front of a very average looking American white picket fence house. Just then, a black BMW pulled into the driveway. Emma threw her fleece hood over her head and cautiously stepped closer. To Emma’s expectance the tall girl stepped out looking exhausted, hair hair-sprayed tightly back, and wearing a jacket that said Julliard on the back. “Hey remember me?” The girl snapped her head around. “No I’m sorry…can I help you?” Emma laughed a laugh that she didn’t even recognize. “No one can help me, but something can free me.” She kept walking closer and closer to the girl. The girl looked disturbed “Who are you?” Emma took her hood off and put her hands deep into her pockets staring into the girls light blue eyes. “The audition…I remember, I’m so sorry.” She struggled for the right words. Emma snapped like a predator on it’s prey “Sorry will never do! Do you have any idea what I had to do, all that I’ve achieved and then in a second it was all over for me, I depended on you, you seemed sure that you could help me.” The girl stepped forward “I didn’t realize that those ballet shoes were too worn out to dance in, I swear to you, what can I do?” “You got a time machine? Do you have something that can give me a loving father and mother, who actually care, for the past 20 years of my life? Maybe fix my home or let my dreams be in peace because sleeping is the only escape I get in my life and now that is even ruined!” Emma clutched her head like she had a raging migraine. And then…she did it, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a handgun she pointed her sweet vengeance right towards the pretty eyed girl’s head. The girl dropped her half opened bag and out fell a picture. Emma peered closer and saw a beautiful tiny baby with gleaming light blue eyes. At that very moment, as if someone re-opened the Pandora box of the world, in poured all the guilt and regret into Emma’s soul. It was too many overwhelming emotions for her to handle at once. Emma needed help…what she didn’t realize is that she could only help herself.


Then in a flash and a bang, impulsively she switched the handgun on herself and pulled the trigger.



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