Dead Silence | Teen Ink

Dead Silence

February 16, 2009
By truluvwaits BRONZE, Placentia, California
truluvwaits BRONZE, Placentia, California
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

It was a cold night, refreshing as most would say. The stars that illuminated the sky shone with an unusual luminescence, making everyone wan to just stare out their window at their warm glow.
The moon was full, round, and perfect. It lit the night with an auspicious luster, making the navy canopy overhead seem all too dark for the illumination.
In the moment that I gazed back at my sister from the passenger seat, beginning to describe how beautiful the night was, she looked at me, eyes wide in fright. That’s when the blinding glare from the truck across from us overtook my view, and the car was pitched to the side of the road.
I remember the shattering sound of the windshield and the scrape of the asphalt in the street as I skittered across to the other side. The face of my sister battered and marred with bruises, her bloodied hands caressed and stroked my face. Her own tears splashed against my cheeks and rolled down my chin.
My head was fuzzy feeling, like someone had taken a blender to my brain, but the blood-my blood- was unmistakably identified even in my blurry state.
I remember the paramedics putting something plastic around my mouth; air was pumped into my mouth, even though I didn’t feel the need to breath anymore. The shocks of the heat starters were last, and finally the fading words of the one bending over me.
“This girl’s not going to make it…”
The darkness closed in and all too quickly, I succumbed to it. The rest of the world weakened from my view, leaving me alone in the black.
I was not enveloped in the shadowy sleep for long because blinding light was back, and although it was warm with welcoming, I turned, fearing what may lay in wait on the other side.
When I twisted until the light was from my view, I stopped dead as my brown eyes grew large, gluing themselves to the image before me. I lay on the ground my eyes glazed over and my face absently vacant. Julia stood over me as my body was eased onto the cot, and finally in the ambulance. She held my hand as if it would help bring me back.

“Julia…” Even my voice was broken, cracked and dying. I began to spiral backwards into tunnel-like vision, the back of the ambulance the last thing to dim from the image. I was alone now, the blackness had almost turned comforting. I sat on the camouflaged black floor, waiting, watching and listening, for anyone or anything.
I began to ask myself questions out loud, hoping for an answer from somewhere in the abyss.
“Am I dead?”
Silence.

“Is there anyone else here?”
Dead Silence.
“WHY ME?!”
Not even my own voice echoed back. I was alone now, and the blackness had turned comforting.



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This article has 1 comment.


on Oct. 30 2011 at 8:21 pm
AmazingAmy SILVER, Spartanburg, South Carolina
9 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The moment comes when a character does or says something that I hadn't thought about. At that moment he's alive and I leave it to him." -Graham Greene

I love this! Your language is gorgeous and I like the way it flows. In such a short piece, I also enjoyed the ride you took me on. I was shocked at first by the car accident, then shaken along through all the mayhem after the accident, then I love how you carry her on through to the afterlife. Love! The only like I thought might could be adjusted was:

"I remember the paramedics putting something plastic around my mouth; air was pumped into my mouth, even though I didn’t feel the need to breath anymore."

I thought the use of "Around my mouth" and "into my mouth" was  slightly repetitive, maybe rephrase into something like "around my mouth, and air began to pump into lungs, even though i didn't feel the need to breathe anymore", but totally your call. Just a suggestion. Great job though! Really!