Dear Mom,
Today was my first day at camp, and it was just as great as the past 6 summers I’ve been. There were new counselors who used to be campers, there were new campers who one day would be counselors, and it was as though I never left. The same trees in the same place, the same clear blue lake holding up the floating docks, and the same friends who I’d know for ages. When I saw Samantha, Rosie, and Carrie, we all nearly cried! I hate having to wait a full year to see them, but I guess people say time makes the heart grow fonder. My counselors Natalie and Sarah are really great and super fun, and my tent isn’t too bad, usually they give the final year campers the really nice tents, but these were not exactly looking “really nice”. There are some new girls this year who seem nice, I’m totally blanking on their names.
After dinner tonight, we all walked down to the docks in our PJ’s and gazed up at the stars. I’m not sure I ever told you about the stars, how they twinkled and shined like little fireflies on a summer night, how they floated on the dark blue sky that swallowed up everything else, but the stars. Every summer on the first and last night of camp we star gazed, stars seem to mark the beginning and end of everything. Sorry, I’m dragging on, you know how I get carried away with my letters sometimes.
I know you’re excited to hear about all my adventures, but it’s nearly light’s out and I’m absolutely exhausted!
Love,
Callie

Dear Lily,
God, the first day is over already. Oh shit, I probably shouldn’t be talking about God that way, seeing as I’m at a Lutheran camp. Sometimes I hate that my Mom sends me to this place, it used to be amazing, until I realized I couldn’t do anything, no alcohol or drugs, so then I thought of it more as a prison. At least the food is amazing, and way better than my Mom’s. I think I miss my dad most when we have had take out 4 days in a row because he was the one who could cook, and now he’s gone.
After Dinner as I was walking back to my tent, I saw him, standing there like some clueless son of a bitch who didn’t even see me. Danny was supposed to be the one, or that’s what I thought, but instead he cheated on me a week after camp let out last year. How dare he come back, how dare he not see me, how dare he not feel guilty for what he did. I felt invisible to him, like all those hours we spent together talking, laughing, and sharing our deepest secrets never happened. Now I look at him and I feel like I never knew him, like we never happened, like that night in the boat house never happened. People say you never forget your first, but he did, and I didn’t, and all I want in the world is to forget him. What I could really use right now is a joint, shared with you, talking about are problems, and with every inhalation and exhalation the problems seem to momentarily disappear.
I haven’t even started with Samantha, Rosie, and Carrie. Of course I missed them, but I never tell them anything about my personal life. Last fall when I told Rosie about this guy I hooked up with, she started crying over the phone, and then she brought her family into the room, and had them all pray for me. Samantha and Carrie are fine, but they’re too innocent, they don’t know real pain, ther father didn’t die of bladder cancer, there boyfriend didn’t cheat on them, and they haven’t done anything rebellious once in their life. Maybe innocence is good, actually sometimes I wish I was innocent like them.
This summer I think I’m going to try to rekindle my love for the camp, I used to count down the days on my calendar and start packing a month before I left. Maybe I’ll love this place again.
xoxo,
Your bestie Callie
P.S. There is this insanely cute guy named Liam, he is in the same tent as Danny but I think we can look past that.

Dear Mom,
Camp has been really great, I’m sad that time is going by so fast. It’s been three days already and I wish I was here longer. Today as I shot the basketball into the hoop and won the game of knockout, I thought back to my third summer here. It was my first time signing up for basketball, I was twelve, had braces, and hadn’t quite figured out who I was. But the first day of basketball I barely played, just sat on the sidelines watching. There was this counselor Annie who came up to me. There was something so calming about her voice, She said to me “ I know you don’t want to play with us, but that won’t stop me from talking with you. Sometimes people just need a friend to show them the way.”
“Like god?” I asked nervously.
“Yes, Callie, like god. Like the bible says, ‘For I know the plans I have for you’ declares the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’
After she told me that, I stood up, got in line for knockout, and won. I remember the net swooshing over and over. I remember what god said, and in that moment I believed he was right over me, watching me win that game of knockout. But today as I won the game, I didn’t believe god was watching over me, heck I didn’t believe in him at all. If god was really their, why would Dad have died, why would Danny have cheated on me? Maybe because of all the sins I have commited, maybe it’s punishment. Maybe I’m telling you too much, now I’m not sure I’ll even send this one.
Love,
Callie

Hey Lily,
So. Much. To. Tell. You. First off I made contact with new guy, Liam, I was walking out of the showers in my bathrobe with a towel on my head looking like a complete dork, and he was looking down at the ground. At first I didn’t notice him, and then he bumped into me knocking all my toiletries across the ground! Talk about awkward… and mortifying, he started apologizing profusely, and I just kind of stood there like a clueless loser. I finally snapped back into reality, realizing what had just happened, my cheeks immediately flushed as I bent down to gather all my things, he did as well. As we were both collecting the array of products off the ground, he said, “ Wow, I always knew girls used a lot of products, but isn’t this a bit excessive?”
I replied, “ Well I’m not an average girl, even though we are living out of tents and sleeping in creeky bunk beds, that’s no excuse to let your appearance go to shit.”
“ Some guys don’t shower for a week here, I on the other hand try to shower every morning. By the way, my name is Liam,” he said back to me.
“I’m Callie, it’s a pleasure to meet you, considering the circumstances.” I laughed a little, and he did as well.
He has these incredible blue eyes that I swear you could get lost in, and his laugh was one that would make you laugh too. He walked me back to my tent and apologized again, handing me my dirty bottles of body wash and shampoo. He even said that I should drop by his tent sometime. I said that might not be the best idea, seeing as Danny shares a bunk with him. He said he’s going try to find me at dinner tonight, and I’m so nervous, I can’t remember the last time I worried about what to wear because of a boy. I just hope that we can get one of the two seat tables, so it’s just us. I’ll send updates later.

xoxo,
Your bestie Callie

Dear Mom,
The first week is over already, and I’ve done so much. Sorry I’ve only sent you one letter so far, it’s just been so busy. Today we went on a 3 hour canoe expedition, then a 2 hour hike, and our final destination was Evergreen Falls. It was so mesmerizing there, the calming sound of the waterfall, the singing of birds, and the faint noise of the wind blowing through the tops of the trees. After we set up our tents, I headed to the base of the waterfall, there is this little spot behind the waterfall, almost like a cave, and not many people know it’s there. I swam under the crashing water fall to the little cove and just sat on this rock. I felt such a calm state of mind there, just me and my thoughts. I’m excited for the dance tomorrow, you know it’s my favorite part of the week, ever since I was little. I’ll update you soon, but I have to go for now because it’s lights out.
Love,
Callie

Dear Lily,
It’s expedition weekend, and you know what that means, lots of craziness. After the hike that felt like it would never end, we reached evergreen falls. I actually think my legs went numb for a minute since I nearly fell over when we arrived, but you’ll never guess who was there to catch me, IT WAS LIAM! I think I’m crazy about him, he’s so perfect, but not too perfect, you know what I mean? After we were all settled, I hiked down to the base of the waterfall only wearing my bathing suit which was a very bad idea. Thankfully there was no one around for me to accidentally flash. I went behind the waterfall, into the little cave and just thought, for a while, about everything I had learned that week. What I believed in, and what I didn’t. I went underwater and held my breath opening my eyes to see the clear water that seemed to go on forever. Suddenly arms came around me on my waist and pulled me up. I turned around to see a distressed Liam still with his arms tightly around me. “ Are you okay? A counselor sent me down here to find you, and when I saw you were under the water I nearly had a panic attack, Callie, you really gave me a scare,” he said. I replied,
“ I’m fine Liam, I can swim, I don’t need you to save me… again.”
“Sorry, it’s just I can’t help it, you always seem to need saving.”
“ Well thanks, that’s comforting, I’m a total mess and the only person who is ever there for me is a guy who I have a huge crush on,” I abruptly stopped, realizing what I had just said, “Oh um sorry, I didn’t mean-” he cut me off.
“ Don’t be sorry, because I like you too Callie, I’ve honestly liked you since that day when I knocked all your toiletries to the ground. And then that night when we sat together at dinner and just talked about everything. I just couldn’t stop liking you.”
I didn’t know what to say, but that didn’t matter because he pulled me closer I took a sharp breath in, and I could feel his breath on my mouth. I slowly brought my arms up around his neck. I felt so naive and innocent in the moment, like I had never been kissed before, like it was my first time ever being held so closely with our bodies touching. And he kissed me, his mouth on mine, us each sharing one breath in unison. Lips locking, under the waterfall, with the sunsetting behind us like something out of a Nicholas Sparks movie.
When our lips parted our eyes made contact and it was like the whole world around us melted away, every problem lifted off my shoulders. He said we should head back up to the tents before they send a search party out for us. I agreed, so we hiked back up to the campground and washed up. When I got back to my tent to change I felt like I was floating on clouds.
That night after dinner, Liam and I snuck out to stargaze. We layed down and got into the sleeping bag he brought. I placed my head on his chest, and he put his arm around my neck, we fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. He told me the story of the day he realized that he believed in god. He was 8, he and his family were driving into the city for dinner one night, and at one of the intersections, a truck came out of nowhere and hit their car. He said he doesn’t remember much after that until he woke up in the hospital with a broken leg and a collapsed lung. His father was DOA and his Mom was in critical condition in the ICU. When the nurses told him, he said that he would never believe in God, because God would never do this to him. The nurse said to him that he should pray for his mom, since there was nothing else that the doctors could do for her. So the nurse, Annie, wheeled him down to his Mom’s room. When they arrived, he broke into tears at the sight of his own mother with tubes everywhere and stitches across her face. Annie took his hand, and he took his Mother’s, and they prayed for almost an hour. His mom suddenly squeezed his hand, and her eyes fluttered open and she looked Liam straight in the eye. From that day forward, Liam never once doubted God.
Sorry for such a long letter, I’ll be home soon.
Xoxo,
Your bestie Callie

Dear Mom,
I’ll be home in three days, and it makes me so incredibly sad to be leaving this place. I want to spend my whole summer here, every day I could go down to the lake and swim, or bask in the sun while laying on the docks. I came here this summer hoping to come home early for some reason or another, I’m not sure I ever shared that with you. This camp used to be a place of faith and peace, fun and freedom, and at some point I stopped realizing that. I took this place for granted, even though I never should have, I learned a lot this summer from this guy Liam. He told me all these stories about losing and then finding his faith, and I think I lost my faith to last summer when Dad died and Danny cheated on me. I thought that God couldn’t be real, because he had done all these things to me, to us. Now I believe God has a plan for me, I don’t know what it is but he brought me here, he led me to Liam, he showed me that there was a reason for everything. Heck I learned how to cook after Dad died because I was so sick of takeout, and I really fell in love with being in the kitchen and creating new recipes. If Danny hadn’t cheated on me then I wouldn’t have met Liam. I found my faith again, and I’m not saying that I won’t lose it it again, but that doesn’t matter. Sometimes I think that I lost my faith in the stars, because the night I found it, I was staring into the stars.
Love,
Callie
Dear Lily,
It’s been a crazy 2 weeks here at camp, every time I come back I seem to have changed in one way or another. Sometimes it’s physical, and sometimes it’s emotional. As I sit here on my bunk writing to you I realize that finding your faith in God is a physical, emotional, and most of all a spiritual change. Being able to always know there is someone who has a plan for you makes me feel at peace. Today as Liam and I were walking back from our last swim at the lake, I asked him,
“Hey where are you from, it seems like the simplest question that I should’ve asked you a while ago, but I guess it never came up.” He replied,
“ I live twenty minutes outside the city, I’ve actually lived there my whole life.”
“No. way. I live right in SoHo in this tiny apartment with my mom! We moved there after my dad died. I used to live in the suburbs, but everytime I rounded the corner into the kitchen I just couldn’t take it, and neither could my mom.” I said.
“ So you’re meaning to say that we’ve lived twenty minutes apart this whole time? And here I was thinking I wouldn’t see you for another year.” I could hear both the surprise and the happiness in his voice.
In that moment I never had felt so sure of anything, so I kissed him, right there in the middle of a Lutheran camp because it just felt so right. Nothing had ever felt as right as being with Liam, and I’ll definitely be going back next summer to train as a counselor.
I’ll see you in less than twenty four hours, but I really don’t want to leave.
Xoxo,
Your bestie Callie