Goodnight

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I have been through two hard, long wars and have lost. I have killed and murdered the lives of many men and women, so what difference will one more measly man dying make? Who will even notice? That is stupid of me, so very stupid. As I stare intently at myself in my mirror, I realize that my whole life has been so very stupid.

At first, throughout my time in primary school, I was ordinary and had the same ambitions as any other boy. In fact, I was the most clever and consequently most popular boy in the whole school. Everybody adored me. Well. Almost everybody. There was this one boy, though. I didn’t notice him much in primary school; he kept to the shadows and never really talked to anybody. But if I think really hard, I can remember him glaring at me. I can remember him staring at me enviously. He was quite clever, but a bit second best to me really.

Then, I entered secondary school. Everything changed. Everybody was so – well – intelligent. That boy was tons more clever than he had been. I struggled to keep up with all of them at first – and then I just gave up. I was weak and unfortunately for me, that boy could sniff out weakness from a mile away. He came up to me at break and lunch and started taunting me, saying things like, “Ooh, has pretty little clever boy started having twouble? Oh deary, deary me!” Everybody always fell about laughing. They started teasing me too, even the ones that had loved me before.

I hated it and I hated him. I started lurking about in corners of the playground every lunch, until one day – “Hello. Are you upset?” It was a little girl, come to visit the school. I shrugged at her sullenly. She shrugged back and giggled. She looked me up and down for a moment, “You look strong. Want to play battles?” I’d heard about the Boer War and it had looked quite fun, so I nodded. She was so cute and fun and it felt good to have a proper friend. We re-enacted scenes from the Boer War until her Mum came to pick her up. She waved cheerily goodbye to me and I waved back.

Ever since then, I started re-enacting scenes from the Boer War with little children. It was great and I felt so happy and free. It was good to forget and play and I started to not just love playing – I got a love for war too. It was brilliant and explosive and you never knew what was going to happen…

But it couldn’t last; my happiness never lasted and never will. When I was 15 years old, I failed all my exams. I was told I had to repeat a year and my world started crumbling beneath me. That horrible boy teased me more than ever. He passed every single exam. “I’m going to go off to Art college and where will you be? In some sewer somewhere, won’t you? Have fun being a failure, being no good for anything. Have fun, little boy.” He kept on saying those two hateful words: ‘Have fun’. I ignored him, even when he followed me around for the whole of break. But then he said something that really stung: “You’ll never be good at anything, you pathetic, little moron.” I turned around and punched him. I was good at one thing. WAR.

I dropped out of school after that. I couldn’t bare the sight of his stupid face. He didn’t tell on me, probably for fear of being called a tell tale. I still wanted to show him I could beat him at anything I wanted though. He’d said he was going to go to Art college and I wasn’t bad at Art, so I used my father’s money to go to Vienna and apply to two Art colleges. Neither of them accepted me, but I wouldn’t be defeated. If I couldn’t beat him at his own game, I would just become superior to him in another art: war and leadership. I started to learn about politics and I also got interested in a Christian society that hated Jews. I recognized some of the things Jews did to that of what the boy did. I so wanted to be part of that society.

Despite the fact I was now absorbed in politics, I longed for a proper career, something to show the boy up for bullying me. And I soon gained one: I volunteered for the German Army and became the corporal; soon gaining many medals and awards. That’s when it all started. My first war: the Great World War One.

I went on to bigger and better things. I never saw that boy again – but I knew, somewhere, that he saw me and would burn with jealousy. I continued to grow stronger, greater and more powerful. I had an army of millions of Nazi’s behind me and for a long time, nobody could stop me. I commandeered the entire Second World War and almost won – but alas, I have lost…

It doesn’t seem worth it, any of it anymore. I have failed and therefore the battle between the boy and I is over and he has triumphed. That boy, tomorrow, or the next day, or maybe the day after that, will read in some paper somewhere: ‘Adolf Hitler found dead,’ and will know, once and for all, that he has won.

I sigh. That one measly man’s death will be mine - and I will be the cause of my own death. I will commit suicide by choice. I have always been strong, fearless; or sometimes fast and enraged. People know me for my quick temper, but now that I am to die, I am a shaking wreck. At the same time, I long to die and stop seeing that boy taunting me over and over again in my head, to stop seeing my fat English opponent chanting, “You’ve lost the war and now you'll lose your life.” Adolf Hitler, shaking. How pathetic.

I sigh again. In a minute, I will walk into that chamber and say goodbye to the world, filled with regrets, for this is all in vain. I have tried too hard and have come crashing down. In a minute, I will be shot. I will no longer feel, taste, touch, hear or smell. The man that has killed nations will commit suicide and be dead – I will be dead. Adolf Hitler will be no more. I suppose it will be like falling asleep after one long, horrible day. I won’t say goodbye. I’ll just say… Goodnight.





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DragonAmericaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 20, 2014 at 4:48 pm
Great job! I love the detail and emotion in this piece! Keep writing.
 
WOWriting replied...
May 21, 2014 at 10:59 am
Thanks, that's really kind :)
 
TaylorWintryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 7, 2014 at 10:36 pm
First off, I love the personality in the beginning. Especially the word measly. Good realism in the secondary school section. I love how violent and blunt your narrator is. It makes me feel tense just reading about it. WOW, that's cool. (When you say WWI.) Aw, man. This is cool. Someone else said that they thought the war came a little soon, and i can agree, but I also think your story is good as is. The fact that he skipped to the violent stuff so quickly REALLY says something about his persona... (more »)
 
WOWriting replied...
May 8, 2014 at 11:53 am
Thanks for the feedback, i wanted to be original and write something that people would stop and think about :) I would have written about the wars a bit more, but i thought it would take too long and i'd have to find a seperate reason for each different thing he did in the wars, otherwise he'd seem less human and more crazy murderer madman
 
CNBono17 said...
May 7, 2014 at 7:55 am
This was incredibly well-written. It really makes you think about the other side--everyone talks about the holocaust, but the man behind it is often dismissed as nothing more than a madman. This makes him more human. I can only imagine how much research you had to do for this piece, but it paid off. This piece is very, very good. I'll be looking for more of your work:)
 
WOWriting replied...
May 7, 2014 at 11:17 am
Thank you for being so nice about it :) i was reading some war pieces about soldiers and i wanted to write something different
 
Kestrel135This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 3, 2014 at 9:57 am
This was a really good article. The whole torment with the boy and the influences of the war games really show how someone can be twisted into something that so many others shun. The school aspect was well-writen, and I liked the cruel "Have fun" line of the 'clever' boy. It really gave light to his resentful personality. Also, the whole aspect that he joined the Nazi army was surprising to me. But at the same time, you saw it coming because of your first mention of the wars; h... (more »)
 
WOWriting replied...
May 3, 2014 at 10:11 am
Thank u for being so kind about it :) I thought it was risky mentioning the two wars right at the beginning as well, so i didn't add that he was killing himself because it's a common fact that hitler committed suicide and it would have been too obvious. 
 
MZeke said...
May 2, 2014 at 4:31 pm
Over all I thought the story was very well written. It has a lot of powerful emotions. You did a very good job at concealing the man's identity at the beginning then slowly revealing who he was as you went along.  I love history, so I found this very interesting. I mean nobody who ever knew anything of history likes Htler, but you did a good job with this story. Not many people would have taken on this subject. You write very well.
 
WOWriting replied...
May 2, 2014 at 7:29 pm
Thanks :) It was difficult to write about
 
GhostBeam said...
May 1, 2014 at 4:38 pm
This piece makes me feel lots of emotions.   I really liked it.             Good Work.                 Keep Writing.
 
WOWriting replied...
May 2, 2014 at 10:50 am
Thank u - it means a lot :)
 
WOWriting said...
May 1, 2014 at 3:17 pm
Feedback? :)
 
BeatnikLover replied...
May 5, 2014 at 12:51 pm
I liked this peice. You obviously had to do quite a bit of research to write this. The only criticism I have is that his love for war seemed to jump in a little too quickly. It would have been interesting to delve a little deeper into the emotional aspect of that. Then again, that could have made the story too long. All in all, good work. 
 
WOWriting replied...
May 5, 2014 at 3:04 pm
Thanks, yeh i did have to do some research. the biography i found said that he started playing with little kids so i just quickly added it in and made it fit in without really thinking :) thanks for critisizm
 
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