Life Behind The Color

February 11, 2012
Every morning my mom would say, "if a white asks you to do something you do it." I reply, "yes ma'am." she hands me my lunch. I walked to school; it was about a mile down the street. I lived in a small town and I was the only colored person in school. I wasn't a racist, but I would retaliate on any colorless person that crossed me. I was an aggressive person I didn't mind what my mother told me every morning. If you got in my way you'd be moved and that was my motto. Everyday I cam into homeroom to see my desk in the back of the room the right corner to be exact. I was unable to see the board and everyone in front of me made sure I would never be able to either. Most of my kind in the situation I was in would have quit right then and there, but I didn't. I was a straight A student. It began to get to my classmates that I was excelling in everything I committed myself to. It got to one of my teachers heads so much that she would grade my papers incorrectly on purpose. I still kept an A in that class even with her errors. I guess she thought it was suppose to get to me well it never did. I was an honest African; no American that's right I doubt I'd be here if my people weren't brought here. So I just consider myself African. This is my embark to being a successful Afro-American. I will right down every thing I do and say from now until my death.

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DivingForRoses said...
Feb. 19, 2012 at 6:53 pm
I like the idea of the novel. It's a story with a lot of potential. In addition, you're a good writer. My criticisms are simply that you have a few sentence fragments, verb tense, and comma issues. For example, in the first sentence, you described your mother's actions in the past tense, but the next sentence was present tense. If this is being written as an account from the boy at a later date, which it appears to be, make sure the verb tenses are all correct. I'd suggest you allow your English... (more »)
BraxtonLangstonChapman replied...
Feb. 20, 2012 at 6:36 pm
I understand my writing issues my ideas and talent on sculpting an article is amazing. My editing skills not so much this is the first piece I actually have done with out the help of my 'English teacher"
penningtonridesbikes said...
Feb. 17, 2012 at 1:43 pm
"Writer's Block" is normal Braxton...sometimes you just need to step away from the writing and then come back to it when you are rested and fresh. I like what you have started. Think about some of the situations you have been faced with here at school and continue. "Inject" the character you created with some of the same things you have seen and felt.
BraxtonLangstonChapman replied...
Feb. 20, 2012 at 6:34 pm
I know I also have a few mistakes, I was impatient. I couldn't wait for you because of your moving and issues.
talversonnn said...
Feb. 16, 2012 at 6:42 pm
BraxtonLangstonChapman replied...
Feb. 20, 2012 at 6:36 pm
Thank you, unknown
KelliB replied...
Mar. 8, 2012 at 11:51 am
I would agree with there being just a few grammatical eand tense rrors. Tense always get me too:) But other than that its a great idea and start. You can feel the a teeny bit of the aggressiveness of the main character with his "motto". I dont know where you plan on going with that aggressiveness but I would suggest, if you are planning on it being a big factor, you meld it into his character rather brashly and really emphasize it early on. Put in some kind of real confrontation and not just him... (more »)
BraxtonLangstonChapman replied...
Mar. 8, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Oh this is just a summary, the book actually starts out in an argument with himself and his teacher. I really like your Idea the only problem I have now is really creating a friendly charactor for him. 
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