A Puritan Minister's Journal

December 2, 2011
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January 20th, 1670:


Darkness is all I see when my eyes awaken to the day. The air is full of blackness and light is no more. My nose caught a whiff of smoke, dust and foul smelling herbs. I felt something quite coarse lain under me. I traced the wooden tier with my delicate pale fingers and they landed on the floor. I presumed it was perhaps wood that I was sitting on, but I dared to make sure. I quickly brought my head up as if I was staring into heaven and gazed longingly at the darkness. I pondered where was I in the world? Am I in Heaven? Is it the death of me? I gasped as my eyes outlined the area. I suddenly felt a salient, excruciating pain in my backside as I struggled to get up. Tugging on my velvet cloak, I stood and brushed myself off. My leather bounded books still rested on the floor. My heart began to pound as I tried to remember where I was. I walked backwards until I hit a smooth corner. A table I presume? I stared at the pulpit and saw a paltry sized type of instrument. I touched it lightly and pushed it down.

I heard a soft click and large, fulgid light shone from the top of the ceiling. Was it God? My mouth was agape and my grape shaped eyes searched around. I could finally make sense of my surroundings but ironically, I still could not make out where I was. There were fluorescent pictures of people- one of a feminine looking boy with brown hair. And another of an eating house called ‘Burger King.’ I never knew there was a king of burgers. Strange, I heeded. The only king I knew was King Charles II in good old Britain. The area looked quite new and refurbished. This was clearly not the Massachusetts’ colony in the year sixteen seventy. I glided closer to the vanilla colored wall and stared at a pamphlet that was tacked on the wall. It said the correct date- January 20th. But the year was off by about a good three hundred and forty years. Down went my ruby colored mouth. I finally realized- had I landed in God’s future? It had seemed as though I did.
I grasped my books and strolled out the door. I found myself again in the flickering winter sun in the grand outdoors. People frantically walked around me, carrying dyed leather sacks and talking nervously into small devices. Their fabrics that lay upon their bodies were in luminous colors. Women were wearing slacks while men were wearing matching tunics and knickers. My slate gray cloak was apparently out of fashion. But no one seemed to notice or even look at me. I came to a final realization that I was a specter. I could glance at people. But others cannot stare at me. I was at lost for words so I surmised to find exactly where they were hiding.

January 21st, 2011?


I still feel the utmost confusion about where I am. But least I slept well and I prayed last night behind a cranberry bush. I prayed to God to help me get back home and I read. I read this verse from Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” I read that in the Lord’s book last night and it taught me that whenever you are lost, the Lord will always be right beside you. I want to get back home but I want to explore this new world. I ponder if it’s the same as the old. I bet it is! And off I went…

I walked the cobbled streets and saw a large, Greco-esque edifice with white columns and engraved Greek scriptures. On top of the scriptures sat a sign that said “Library.” Oh! I lit up. We have much old libraries in the colony. I stepped upon the gray scratchy steps and walked inside the Library. My face curled into a grin as I surveyed the rows and rows and ROWS of brightly colored books. The edifice was big, airy, and quite dim. Little balls of light shone from different green lamps from the camel colored tables. Young lads and ladies sat upon the brittle chairs and read their books in silence. I slowly paced down the aisles of novels and my eyes stared on a stack of books that seemed bulky and heavy. I plucked the first one off the stack and stared at the dark, colors on the cover. “Harry Potter”. I read aloud. Hmm. What kind of book is that? Some kind of fictionous material? The books I ever read were the Bible of course and only the great classics by Plato and Homer back in England. I decided to read the first few pages of this new found book. By gosh they were dreadful! I wheezed and my mouth dropped. The book was so horrifying that I just had to throw the book across the room. I wiped my now contaminated hands on my cloak and shuddered. So grotesque and upsetting. Who would read filthy dross? Is this what the children of this time called great literature? It bewilders me! I sprint out of the library and onto the chilly air while still clutching my Bible. O Lord! Where do I turn to next…?

January 22nd, 2011?


Do you perhaps remember the picture of the lad who looked very lady like a few days ago? I saw the same picture again at a nice market place a few roads from the Library that I visited yesterday. It appears it is a very infamous lad from some land called Canada. Ah yes! The land of some of the French. His God given name is Justin Bieber. What kind of unfortunate man has that kind of a name? The lad seems to be like a notorious person here. I believe he sings. That is why he has so much fame. I wonder if he is any good. I also saw multiple pictures of him around this city for a musical recital at a concert hall. I must go to see his show. But you must obtain a certified piece of paper of some sorts to converge inside the theatre. But where shall I arrive to capture them? Ah yes! I don’t need that silly old piece of paper! I am not living at this time! No one will see me go in! I smiled to myself. I walked into the hall and waited for the music to happen.

Hours have past and I’m sitting on the hawkish pew outside the theatre and I spot gaggles of little ladies lining up and holding colorfully vivid signs with the boy’s name on it with poorly drawn portraits of him. He does look rather feminine, don’t you think so? The ladies are screaming in joy and jumping up as if they trying to touch the eternal home that is sitting above the Earth. A few ear shattering moments later, the show starts. So much screaming! God is blocking his ears out in disgust! The show starts and he sings. What a beautiful voice he has! It makes the angels trill in peaceful harmony. Every song the meritorious chap sings it is as if a thousand little doves are flying down to earth. Ah, such wonderful talent the old chap has. God will make him go far…

January 23rd, 2011


I have been wondering for days how people live this new era. What do they eat and how do they spend their day? How do they support their families and such? I remember that other poster on the wall when I first arrived here. It was the “King of Burgers” poster. What is a burger anyway? I do believe that ‘burger” means ‘crumbled sandwich’ in German. Burgers must be some kind of very delicious sandwich here if they even had appointed a king for it... Maybe I should try one. Where is this restaurant? I turn around and coincidently there it was… “Burger King.” I grinned once again. I go inside the oil smelling restaurant and I order one of those ‘burgers’.

I took one large, greasy bite. My face turns a chartreuse color and I winced. My throat locks up and my tongue seems to die along with the poor dead bird in the middle of the road. Who in the Lord’s name would eat this swill? GOD’S FOOD- WASTED! I feel like my mouth was gorging animal feces. It seems as though the King of Burgers was a bad, hated king. My experience with this new age food was not very pleasant. I may never have meat again.

January 26th, 2011


It has been several days since I arrived in the future and so far I would like to go back home. The future seems unpleasant and scary. O dear how I pray for future children of the New World. After the horrific burger incident a couple of days ago, I went to explore more sights here. I believed that there may have been some more fortunate sights in the future then the ones that I had just previously encountered. Yesterday, I went to a school. I presume that it was a school for teenaged youth. It was a large school with crimson and white banners and a big symbol of a red bird on the building. I wonder if it is a lovely Puritan school. So I went to find out…it wasn’t. O the horrors I saw with my own two eyes. The school felt like a battleground. Children were throwing things, pushing others into these big blue metal boxes and other harmful actions. The school is filled with many, many people. How does one walk around here? And the dress here is very offensive. Young ladies are showing off their midriffs in the middle of winter! And lads have their indigo slacks around their ankles. Is this a school or is it hell? I saw many couples showing gross motions of affection. You don’t even want to know what they are doing in public. The noise alone makes the angels cry in agony. I couldn’t bear to dwell there any longer. I must leave the future at once…





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