Desertion

August 12, 2011
By CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius


“My Lady.” Neferura, my body servant, bowed low before me.

“What’s wrong? How did the battle go?”

Neferura bit her lip. “We were defeated. Mark Antony is storming around the palace, demanding to see you. He was furious that the legions he took out defected before the battle.”

I sighed and closed my eyes. First we had lost at Actium, now Mark’s legions had defected…he was not going to be happy. I picked at an imaginary crumb on my sheath, pondering what to do. What would Mark do to me if I answered his summons? Was he so far gone that he’d kill me for abandoning him at Actium?

“Neferura, you will go back to Mark and tell him I’m already dead.”

She gasped. “My Lady, he would never kill you out of rage. You have enthralled him.”

“I have no idea what he’ll do in this state; he may very well kill me. Now go tell him I’m dead. That’s an order.”


She bowed, then ran out of my mausoleum. Ever since we came back from the battle at Actium, I had hidden in my half-finished mausoleum. No one would ever think of finding the Pharaoh in her own tomb. It was the perfect hiding place.


My crypt was illuminated by a single lamp and the flickering on the painted walls made it seem even creepier. I usually had Neferura or a slave with me, but now I was completely alone. It was so silent that I could hear every breath I took and every set of footsteps nearing the tomb sent my heart fluttering with fear. Was Mark going to take his anger out on me? He couldn’t kill me, though. He loved me.


“What is it?”


A pale, flushed Neferura returned. I looked closely at her eyes and saw that she had been crying. What had Mark done to her?


“My Lady, Mark…he…stabbed himself.”


“No!” I screamed. “He can’t do that! Who will protect me now?”


Neferura just stood there.


“He’s still alive, but he’s dying quickly.”


“Get some slaves and bring him here. I need to see him before he dies.”


Neferura ran like the Khatyu demons were chasing after her. I waited only five minutes in agonized silence before slaves bearing a litter rushed in. As soon as the curtains were pulled back, the metallic stench of blood filled my crypt.


The source of that horrible smell, Mark, stumbled out of the litter toward me, bleeding copiously from a self-inflicted wound to his stomach. How could he leave me now, when Octavian was ready to capture me and take over Egypt? I felt hot tears rolling down my cheek.


“Don’t cry Cleopatra, not over me.” He reached up and brushed away the tears that ran down my face. “You’re so beautiful.”



Gods, what an idiot. I wasn’t crying over him dying! I was crying because I was losing my key to power in Egypt. Of course I wasn’t going to tell him that; I would humour Mark for the last time.


“How can I not cry? The love of my life is leaving me.”


“We’ll see each other again in whichever heaven we go to.” He smiled, then grimaced. “Neferura, bring me a goblet of wine. I am the incarnation of Dionysus; I need my god’s wonderful creation before I die.”


Neferura hurried over to my stash of food in one of the antechambers and came back with a goblet of good Roman wine. Mark took it in his shaking hand, then downed it in a few gulps. He sat up, grimacing the whole time and we hugged.


It was a fierce hug, the kind when you don’t know if you’ll ever see the other person again. Mark smelled like blood and judging by the stickiness in my stomach area, I was now covered in his blood. Lovely.


He looked at me for a few seconds, then kissed me. I could taste the blood on his lips; why did he have to stab himself to commit suicide? Couldn’t he have used poison? Finally, I felt him go limp in my arms. Thank the gods!


I unceremoniously dropped his body on the floor, then stood up. Neferura didn’t look shocked in the least; she knew I never really cared about him. She looked at my sheath and saw the blood, then ran back to the antechamber to get me a new one. I scrambled to get my blood-soaked one off and as soon as I did, I draped it over Mark’s body. The affair Mark and I had ended as soon as he died. It was time to get a new man.


After all, Octavian was coming.


The author's comments:
Historical Notes:
1. 'Mark Antony' is the English version of Marcus Antonius, his Latin name. I didn't want to confuse people by fighting convention, so I called him Mark even though Cleopatra would have known him as Marcus.

2. Octavian was known as Gaius in his day, but since everyone knows him by the name Octavian or Caesar Augustus, so I didn't fight convention.

Tell me what you think of my portrayal of Cleopatra in the comments! I'm curious as to what you guys think. Oh, and credit for my title goes to Teen Inker MorenSore. Thanks!

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This article has 83 comments.


on Aug. 24 2011 at 7:53 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

I love ancient Egypt.  Thanks for commenting! :)

owkey BRONZE said...
on Aug. 24 2011 at 7:52 pm
owkey BRONZE, Markham, Other
4 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hey

-Owkey

You like ancient Egypt quite a bit don't you? :) It's a great piece overall. I especially loved the ending XD

on Aug. 23 2011 at 8:54 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks!  I'm glad you like my portrayal of Cleopatra. :)

on Aug. 23 2011 at 8:53 pm
dancemaniac GOLD, Mansfield, Texas
13 articles 0 photos 20 comments
i love this! i love cleopatra and i thought you did an excellent job in portraying her character! Great job! 

on Aug. 22 2011 at 6:50 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thank you! :)

on Aug. 22 2011 at 4:19 pm
Free_One PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 773 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am not invincible or unstoppable, but I stay strong because it is the only way to survive in this world."

Once again. . . LOVED it!!! :)(:

on Aug. 21 2011 at 8:42 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks!  I'm glad you liked it. :)

on Aug. 20 2011 at 9:40 pm
Alex_Durham GOLD, Vineland, New Jersey
14 articles 1 photo 234 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Woah... I really liked this! I love whow you portrayed Cleopactra! How her thoughts contrasted with her dialogue was thoughtful!

on Aug. 19 2011 at 9:00 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks for the five star rating!  I really appreciate it. :)

on Aug. 19 2011 at 8:58 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thank you! :)

on Aug. 19 2011 at 6:57 pm
BorderlineGenius777 SILVER, Lewiston, Idaho
7 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most would be content to take their own and depart."- Socrates

wonderful Historical story. I enjoyed how you were really able to make Cleopatra seem cold and calculating. it could maybe use a little more description about what Mark looked like, since not everyone would know who he is, but other than that, FIVE STARS

Harebelle GOLD said...
on Aug. 19 2011 at 6:52 pm
Harebelle GOLD, Vancouver, Other
14 articles 1 photo 121 comments
It's a very original portrayal of Cleopatra, so well done for making her a relatable (if scheming) character! Keep writing!

on Aug. 19 2011 at 2:33 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Well, I respect your opinion of Cleopatra, even if I don't agree with it.  Thank you for taking time to write such a detailed comment! :)

on Aug. 19 2011 at 2:32 pm
Readqueenz7 SILVER, Oak Park, Illinois
6 articles 9 photos 16 comments
I think this is good. Very well written, and the historical facts are beautifully incorporated into the narrative. I'm not sure I exactly agree with your portrayal of Cleopatra, however. I'm not quite sure you captured Cleopatra's strength, she was practically the goddess of Egypt, and mostly of her own doing. I also have a hard time believing that she didn't love Mark Antony. I mean, she did kill herself very soon after he died, and I know that the last sentence implies that she did that out of fear of Octavian, which may have been a motivator, but I also believe there was love there as well. I'm also not sure she was afraid of Mark Antony either, I think it was more of a game of cat and mouse that they played, she wanted to chase her/wanted to be chased, it just went a little too far. Sorry if this is too much, you said you wanted to know what we thought of your portrayal of Cleopatra. Well, that's just my opinion.

on Aug. 19 2011 at 9:27 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thank you! :)

on Aug. 19 2011 at 3:31 am
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 578 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

This is really good! You portrayed Cleopatra wonderfully. I could really get a historical feel from this piece. Excellently written. :)

on Aug. 17 2011 at 11:27 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks for commenting! :)

on Aug. 17 2011 at 11:24 pm
Sinister-Von GOLD, Shawnee, Oklahoma
11 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
never stop doing what you love, The past makes you who you are today. Live for today and not for tomorrow

This is good very good i like the fact that you made me feel like i knew Cleopatra :)

on Aug. 17 2011 at 8:09 pm
BreeTayler PLATINUM, Carlisle, Arkansas
30 articles 0 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Where there is love there is life." --Ghandi

tis a shame.... Sorry, Mrs.Harrison, it looks like you're going to have me for another year.. haha

on Aug. 17 2011 at 8:04 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thank you very much! :)  But no, I don't think I'll ever write a textbook.


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