Only a Woman This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

August 12, 2011
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“My Lady, Octavian is here.” Neferura, my only loyal servant was in a panic. “It will only be a matter of time before he finds you here.”

“I won’t hide any longer. Bring my paints, my best red sheath and my most expensive jewelry. I’ve charmed two Roman men; there’s no reason I can’t charm this one too.”

Neferura bowed, then ran out of the mausoleum I had been hiding in for the past few months. Had it really only been a couple of months since everything had gone wrong? Our fleet was destroyed at Actium, Mark Antony committed suicide and now the Emperor had arrived in Egypt. If I couldn’t charm Octavian like I charmed Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, then I would soon return to my mausoleum as a corpse.

Neferura soon returned with all the things I had requested. She helped me wriggle out of my plain white sheath and into my sumptuous red one that left little to imagination. Then she brushed my tangled black hair, pinned it up and slipped my wig of a hundred ringlets into place. I sat very still as she outlined my eyes in kohl, used henna to redden my lips and covered the dark circles under my eyes with powder. From the small selection of jewelry she brought, I chose a silver circlet with a huge red jasper stone that hung on my forehead, bracelets of electrum, a belt of moonstones and rings of lapis lazuli. I looked at myself in the small bronze mirror Neferura brought and smiled. I looked perfect, as usual. Now all I had to do was make Octavian agree.

“You manipulated a good Roman man into turning against his own country.”

“Me? I am just a woman. What influence could a woman have over a strong Roman man?”

Octavian spluttered at my words; he was not buying into my story. And he definitely wasn’t falling for my body like Julius and Mark had. My intelligence only threatened him, so that definitely wasn’t helping my case. Time for Plan B.

“You need a powerful ally in Egypt; I can maintain control over my people. Let me remain Pharaoh and Rome will reap the rewards.”

For the first time in our meeting, Octavian smiled. “Cleopatra, you are an intelligent woman. Tell me why would I need a powerful ally in the newest Roman province?”

“You’re annexing Egypt?” I gasped.

“Of course. I have no wish to quell the rebellion of yet another tempestuous Eastern Queen.” He snapped his fingers. “Take her away, but do not harm her. I wish to display her at my triumph when I return.”

The Roman guards marched me at sword point to a tiny room in the palace that had been a guest room. Before they locked me away for good, I turned to face them and suggestively lifted my sheath to reveal my right calf. One of the soldiers hesitated, but the other pushed me into my prison and slammed the door behind me. To my surprise, Neferura was there, setting up a simple cot by the door. Seeing me, she bowed before speaking.

“I convinced the guards to let me tend to you. My Queen, what are you going to do now?”

“I am going to deny Emperor Octavian his greatest prize.” I smiled reassuringly to hide the fact I was ready to break down and cry. “I don’t care how you do it, but bring me an asp. I’m going to die with the honour that befits the last Pharaoh of Egypt.”

Neferura nodded and I could see the tears in her deep brown eyes. I walked over to her and pulled her into a hug, a huge breech of station on my part. But I didn’t care; I was about to die and I needed to thank her for her complete loyalty to me. I felt the tears run down my face, but I let them flow. After all, if I had my way, I was not long for this world.

After Neferura retouched my makeup, I was ready. She had smuggled the asp past the guards by hiding it in a basket of figs. I reached in the figs and nearly smiled in triumph when my fingers closed around the asp’s cool, smooth body. It hissed as I pulled it out of the basket. Good, it was already annoyed at being kept under the heavy figs.

Its eyes stared coldly at me as I stroked its head, enticing it to bite me. Finally, it struck my wrist with lightning speed. I bit my tongue to keep from crying out in pain. When the snake let go, I quickly dumped it in the fig basket and put the lid on it. I didn’t want it to slither out and bite Neferura, my only friend left.

Within minutes, my breathing became laboured. I lay down on the bed and carefully composed myself. I was going to die with dignity, the way a Pharaoh should. My last breaths were steeped in agony, yet I was strangely happy. I had thwarted Octavian, denying him his greatest prize.

But my happiness didn’t last long. The gods in Judgment Hall were calling for me, Queen Cleopatra, the last and greatest Pharaoh.

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KarinaDavidyuk said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 6:39 pm
This is really great! I love it <3
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 6:40 pm
Thanks for commenting! :)
ForeverMyImmortality said...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 5:27 pm
I am not a big fan of historical fiction but I do love this piece.  I love how it's so historically accurate when it needs to be wit hthe perfect slpash of fiction to tie it all together.
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Thanks for commenting! :)
ForeverMyImmortality replied...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 7:05 pm
Even though I can't spell.
GzusFreak10 said...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Very good! Quite compelling, good amount of dialouge, and the characters were believable. Cleopatra seems to be exactly like I picture her: a cold and calculating ruler, but still a woman with needs and feelings.
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 3:25 pm
Thank you! :)
WriterofTheStars said...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 2:59 pm
I love the story. You certainly did your research. A flawless tale...
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Thanks for your comment! :)  I really appreciate it.  Is there anything of yours you'd like me to comment on?
WriterofTheStars replied...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Not at the moment, thanks. My current piece is being approved. I just love reading your work!
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Well, thank you very much!  I love it when people comment simply because they like an article.  If you want to read more about Cleopatra, then I have an article called 'Desertion', which takes place before this one.
KendisPiper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 2:57 pm
this was a truly wonderful peice and i simply adore it. I had to read some parts more slowly just so it could sink in a little better. This is absolutly fantastic
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Thanks! :)  I'm glad you liked it.
Eastep said...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 12:42 am

Yet another masterpiece.

No spelling mistakes, excellent dialogue, great visualization, except one thing is nigling at me...

Octavian didn't have much of a description.


Otherwise, I really like your story here, and I hope you write more historical fiction. You do a great job of it!

CarrieAnn13 replied...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 12:43 am
Thanks!  And yeah, in the second draft I described Octavian.  I just don't want to restart because I have so many comments.
Loserrr122 said...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome. Very nicely done.
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 5:02 pm
Thanks for commenting!
Jappyalldayeveryday said...
Nov. 20, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Once again, it was an interesting portrayal of history.
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Nov. 20, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Thank you for commenting! :)
Afanen This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 17, 2011 at 10:35 pm
Nice. It's perhaps a little historically inaccurate, but the language was clear and concise, and you got your points across very well. 
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Nov. 18, 2011 at 8:05 am
Thanks! :)
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