A Mother's Loneliness

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I live in New York City. I’m a single mom, with two kids. I’m lucky to even have had a job because women in my time are never supposed to work as men. I only received this job because one of my friends has a company, but now that I have lost my job I have realized that I have nothing to give for my family. Ever since I lost my job, my kids have different attitudes. My children and I have always lived a great life but now that I am jobless, we wear raggedy clothing because I had to sell our new clothes for money, so that I can put food on the table. My oldest son hardly talks anymore and he hangs out with the wrong crowd. On the other hand, my daughter is sad about the situation but she focuses more on her school work, so that she doesn’t have to think about me being jobless.
I am lonely because I don’t have friends and because I can’t support my kids. But now everyone seems to be in a stink because most of us have lost our jobs. Every time I walk out of my house, I somehow seem to run into someone who still has a job; they always manage to me a dirty look. Looking me up and down, it seems as though she is disgusted with what she sees. I walk away all limp like I’m spaghetti, not caring for the world. I walk to this line where they feed people who have been affected by the Great Depression. I bring food back home for my children, but my son is not in the house. So my daughter and I eat together (but in silence) at the dining room table.
I look at the clock and it is now 10 o’clock, but I got in the house around 8, and he still is not home. I just hope something is not wrong because last time he went to jail because he and his friends were fighting with other kids. But since I am truly worried, I grab my coat and my bag and go out to look for him. Two blocks away from my home I see a boy laying on the ground. I cross the street and see that it is my son all bruised and battered and knocked unconscious. I kneel down towards him because now his situation is even worse. I have always known my son to fight because he wears clothes that the other kids don’t wear, so he acts tough in order for people not to pick on him. I should have seen this coming. I rush him to the hospital; luckily it is only three blocks away.
The next day I go back to the hospital and one of the doctors approaches me telling me that I can’t pay for my child’s hospital bill. I’m so upset at this point because I know I can’t pay for it because I don’t have a job. I leave the hospital and try looking for jobs that I can apply to. I know that this will be hard because they don’t take in women to do men’s jobs, but I have to for my son. I go into this clothing boutique since this is a store for women and ask the lady kindly if she has any more spots open. She looks at me strangely and I explain to her what happened to my son and that I got laid off because of this economic time. She explains that she doesn’t have any spots left but she sees how desperately I need this job, so she gives me one and I hug her and thank her and walk out the room with joy and a smile on my face.
All this time I was lonely about not having a job and not even having the friends that I wanted to have, but I have come to find out that it was never about the clothes and never about what people thought of me, it was about me trying to find a way I would be able to find a job on my own. When I lost my job I started thinking about the negative and not thinking about the positive. Maybe the job was not for me and that’s why I lost it. I guess the people that were around me that looked nice and took care of their children symbolized all the struggle and hard work they have done, and that’s I what I wanted for myself. But my misery is over now because now that I have a job I can focus on bigger and better things like just providing for my kids and me.





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