Kiss Leading to the Dead

October 16, 2010
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Mount Olympus was a beautiful place. The gods seemed more open and nicer than I had expected. In all the myths I read they were described as fierce and powerful beings. I was told they punished mortals and even other gods themselves. Even their parents and wives. I sure wish I culd punish my parents, sometimes. I don’t mean locking them up in tartarus or pinning them to a cliff… Anyway, Mount Olympus was awesome and everyone was extremely nice to me for exactly the five minutes I had up there. Zeus is actually very polite. Not to mention, the ambrosia was fantastic! I bet if I had tasted a bit more, I would have lived forever. The truth is, the only reason the gods were so sweet with me is because they knew I had to put up with Hades. He’s so annoying. Here’s the story I’m getting to.
The whole thing started when this hot guy named Hermes came to Richard Montgomery High School as the “new guy”. It was the end of the year and I was confident and already knew I would pass 10th grade. But when the guy of my dreams came to my school and sat next to me in ancient History class, I couldn’t stop staring at him. It was as if he was a god sent from another world, out to get me. I mean out to get me in a good way. Which turned out to be true. Hold on! I’m getting to that! I never have problems talking to guys but this guy was different. It was like I was muted. Then on the last day of school, after the last bell rang. I picked up my stuff almost relieved hoping that this intense dreamy guy image would fade. As I walked to my bus, I came to halt before the open door. I had forgotten my binder in mister Shroom’s class. I turned to run back to the room, yelling “ Sorry!”. Just so you know, I always say sorry. Sorry is a habit but most of the time I do mean it. It’s a lack of confidence problem. When I got to the classroom to get my binder. The only one in the room was Hermes.
“What are you doing here?” I muttered
“I’m waiting for someone?” Hermes simply answered
“Who?” My eyes flew around the room. I was proud my speech found it’s way back into my mouth until I blurted out my name and how old I was and I started to constantly talk, boast, and laugh for no reason. Finally I managed to hush. I laughed nervously.
Hermes grinned, “for you.”
Though I wasn’t sure whether to be gullible and accept the lie or make one of my idiotic comebacks but I went with the first option.
Luckily, he continued. “ Want to go to the movies with me?”
This was crazy but I blurted out my naïf answer anyway. “ Yes!” I corrected my embarrassing enthusiasm. “ I mean cool, sorry.”
So we had one of those 30 second chats and he told all the boring yet useful info and me where and when. Then there was a thirty-second silent smile between us. Though awkward it gave me time to look into his gorgeous eyes.
Friday came swiftly but not as fast as I would have liked. Hermes came bye foot, which was kind of disappointing because I was expecting to be riding in a awesome car. I screamed hoping I wouldn’t break the windows or cause an earthquake with my high-pitched scream. I grabbed some clear lip-gloss and smeared it on my lips. Then anxiously bounded out the door. Little did I know what I had smothered my lips with was not lip-gloss it was super glue. Not the kind that dries fast though. We took a seat in the back of the room. As the previews went on my lips felt sticky and soon enough they were glued shut. He kept asking me questions. But I couldn’t answer him. So he thought I was preparing for a kiss or something. He bent over and kissed my lips and our lips touched and stayed touching each other for so long that I finally realized he was stuck to me. Our lips were sealed. We tried to pull away from each other. I am such an idiot. But as I was saying that to myself our lips tugged free.
“ Wow!” He exclaimed, “ Mortals can’t even touch gods in my world!”
“ Sorry” I looked down scared and kind of weirded out. “ My lip gloss came out of my dad’s tool box”
Then my face turned all red. I definitely wasn’t blushing because even if I put on a ton of blush in the reddest color, my skin tone wouldn’t match the color my natural skin produced. I didn’t know what I was feeling puzzled, I looked up at him then around me. I was outside in pure brightness a blue sky spread wide over my head. The movie theater was gone and I was standing! What the heck?! That’s what I was thinking but then I repeated my thoughts out loud.
“What the heck?!” Then I calmed and inhaled a delightful breath of air. The peaceful breeze tasted like sweet wine. The breeze was at a perfect temperature. He had called me a mortal. What did that mean?
“Gods always flirt with mortals?” he said playfully.
“Gods?” Then I realized what was going on. I was on Mount Olympus. Where lived the Olympian gods? I had always seen the magical qualities about Hermes and I doubted he was lying. Unless this was all a dream.
“Especially my father. He’s always hitting on mortals.”
I didn’t know whether to be honored or to scream. I did scream anyway after I pinched myself to see if I was dreaming. He started to walk down hill. I ran to catch up with him.
I stopped suddenly. “Wait, where are we going? Isn’t the palace uphill?”
He unexpectedly smirked. “Mortals never go up there.”
“We’re going to the Underworld.” He answered slyly
“ What?”
“ We’ve been watching your videos on youtube and we’re expecting you to make a documentary in the underworld.” Not sure what to say I shrugged, “OK!”
We walked for hours until we came to a big pit in the earth. We jumped in and for a second I thought I was in Alice in wonderland, jumping down a deep whole and thought I would never stop falling. I hit the rough ground with a thump.
“ Quiet! Or you’ll wake up the dead babies!” So I tiptoed down the shore until we reached a cloaked figure. He stood very tall. I stood behind Hermes. “Hello Guardian of the river Stix, We’d like a boat ride to the underworld Terminal B United Deadlines.” Just like an airport I thought. “Sure Hermes, anything you want!” I realized he was being sarcastic.
“He’s a little grumpy because he’s boat sick.” Hermes whispered.
“ Boat sick?” I asked confused.
“ Sick of boats. All he does all day is bring obnoxious dead people to their destinations. Poor guy.” Hermes whispered.
I nodded in understanding. It must be a horrible career. I wondered if he went to college.
So Hermes pushed me on the boat said goodbye and skipped away. The rest of the story will be summarized. I just wanted to give detail about Hermes who I’m obsessed with and have pictures of all over the wall. Basically I got to the underworld and was greeted by Persephone, the queen. She would have been gorgeous if her mascara hadn’t dripped and her black lipstick was lined and her hair wasn’t a mess and if her clothes weren’t ragged. It turned out she desperately needed a BFF. Though she begged me to stay and kept trying to slip Pomegranate seeds into my food and drinks so that I couldn’t leave her. It was kind of creepy. But my camera and I were great friends. I filmed all the terrors and zombies and the Cerberus, the mighty one’s pet. After six weeks I was released and sent home. Leaving through the tunnel was difficult because I wasn’t aloud to look back and I really wanted to know if Hermes was still walking behind me. But it’s a rule. Hermes had come to visit and after some arguing and good convincing he promised me I could meet his dad as a tourist. So that’s when I had my five minutes in the fantastic place called Mount Olympus. The beauty was marvelous. Going home was a relief though, because six weeks of no sleeping is really upsetting. Dead are so whiny.
I Love you Hermes! If you read this text me!

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