The Stylist's Son

September 2, 2017

Once upon a time in the village of Dung-
Yes, the village is called Dung.
Why Dung?
Come on, if something's called Dung what do you picture it looking like? Maybe dirt roads, gray buildings, the clouds flocked with flies, dismal people holding screaming infants, and yes, cow poop.
If you don't like it, too bad.
But by far the WORST part about this small village of Dung was the fact that the only animal that could survive there were alligators, yellow eyed and jade colored, yet it could still reek of a cow's digested dinner.
Yikes.
For one year, all the people of Dung lived in complete chaos and sadness.
Then for two.
Then for a decade, a century, a millennium, until an activist by the noble name of Bart came to spread happiness. He was a klutz, and he was not careful with his with his words, but he was still the first in generations to wish for wellness.
He said, "People who make Dung, you are the future. Your destiny is in your arms. The future can only be achieved with the power of all of you Dung people and of my new idea." He walked over to the alligator captivity pen, and opened the gate. The people of Dung gasped and shrieked! What was this crazy man thinking?!! Had he come only to make sure they all met their doom?!! As people began to run, Noble Bart said "WAIT! COME BACK! I'M NOT DONE!" The terrified people stopped, and turned to face Bart. "Pets make people happy. You do not need to be afraid of these reptiles. See," Noble Bart turned, and scratched the snout of one of the seemingly fearsome beasts. The creature closed its eyes and rolled onto its back. "They are people too."
Less than an hour later, everyone had at least one alligator as a pet. And they were happy. There was even an occasional "Hello" uttered through the crowd. The once dangerous animals were renamed "Community Alligators." A week later, there were alligator and Noble Bart memes, billboards, and merchandise. A month later, people were starting to build pools and large glass square pens for the alligators. A jovial feeling was spread between the people of Dung for many, many years. Until, that is, there was a troubled and insane boy, the son of the owner of a newly opened department store who mumbled these words at an assembly. "Maybe it isn't such a great idea to keep alligators as pets."
Gasp.
"Your boy's gone mad!" a woman shouted at the poor boy's parents.
"He must be taken away!"
"Far away!"
"We will not tolerate this!" The boy was taken to an unoccupied asylum in the middle of nowhere. He, a small boy of eleven, did not know he'd stay there, alone, for the next 32 years.
Over time, a clever alligator named Alexander and his sister Lucille came up with a plot to make sure that alligators ruled Dung once more. He gathered followers, fellow alligators, and they planned an ambush, a terrible turn of events. They destroyed During, its people, buildings, happiness, even the asylum. The crazy boy, now a man, and actually crazy from social isolation made a desperate run for it and hid in the woods. He befriended a rabbit, who was kind, and shared his love of fashion. Together, they created an army of rabbits to overcome the deadly alligators. It was a dreadful battle, lasting days, before the alligators all died of food poisoning from eating the grass in starvation while the rabbits ate small frogs. The crazy man emerged victorious and always wears a gator-skin hat to remember the terrible times.
And that is the story of the Mad Hatter.






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