Lusus

May 5, 2017
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2 years ago I have created this beast and pieced its grotesque form, sewn together with needles and nails. I have watched this pool of deceased people puzzle together remarkably. In aw ay i was his father, in aw ay i was his god. If anyone were to see my creation they would surely scream and panic, i however were to be a banshee of joy as my creation baffles me. His complexions is of a daemon but a daemon i love dearly. Tonight was the night i see him come to life,hopefully. I shall beckon this monster by the pronoun of “him” for now. He was made as a male and shall be seen as such. i ve neglected to think of an actual name though..”i’ll think of one later!” i was too excited for that moment of reincarnation!

This process was slow in-fact. I decided to take a well deserved slumber. In the blissful of dream I was disturbed by a large hand that reached upon my chest.

“Who awakes me at this ungodly hour?!” i said groggily. At first light by the rising sun i am startled by my own subjects distorted and broken face. He then follows to emote a single tear, a tear that trickled down his mustard hue skin. He steps back. L get out of my bed slowly, as if in a trance, i am intrigued that he can feel.

“ you can feel?” i ask softly. He looks at me when those sunken eyes that were such a pain to put into his skull. He stood there, watching my moves with caution and perplexment.

“You're scared of me?, why?” i ask him, once more he does not respond.He knows not love, the compassion of a family, of the world in fact.

“I should not waste my efforts, if i were to abandon him he could destroy society beyond physically” i mutter to myself. I walk toward him with light as a feather steps, i take his large hand into my smaller hand and hold it. I manage to sit him down beside me on my bedside.
He grasps my hand as a small child would to his father. He was made strongly built, maybe too strong. I thought to myself that he was one of a kind, i'd never make another, that would waste yet another 2 years.

He turns his head slowly toward me, i could  faintly hear his spine cracking from the stiffness he was in. he watched me smile and mimicked me, his muscles twitched to form a broken and ugly smile. His teeth were nice and white with a bleach cleaning job i had  done. I began to frown as i spy some dangling, that was his ear, begin to tear away from his head.

“I could've sworn i tied that more firmly” i muttered. As i escorted him to my porcelain throne of deep thought, i laugh. I sat his hulking and towering body down upon the seat. He looked parallel to my eyes when i was standing.His eyes had the sparkle of an innocent soul. Despite he had no soul. But i thought to myself that i soul is earned, not made. After a few short moments of dead silence i managed to stitch his little mutant ear  back on. I raised his body back up and had him look into the mirror i placed in there.

“What do you think?” i ask light-heartedly. He gazes into his reflection with a thousand yard stare. “I’ll be right back to snip the ends off.” i said to break the silence, after the hum filled return from my studies to fetch a pair of scissors. I stood paralyzed in awe as i watched him smash my mirror into smithereens , screaming as he did it. I felt numb as ihe did it, i was not happy,nor sad,nor even the slightest mad at him. I simply existed there with him. After demolishing my cheap mirror he quickly looked at me with such a fiery look,such rage,his pearly whites snarled and his mouth oozed saliva. I involuntarily took a step back, that was a mistake i made with him. He had switched emotions in an instant. His hellish look faded into a wave of depression, his mouth fell agape. After this moment of shock he then rushed down the halls, he had stumbled several times. I was both proud and scared, he had learned to run and see what he was, but seeing what he was had also given him anger. During that long silence he had thought of something, i did not know what, but to him it was vital,it was critical. I did not run after him for i knew i could not stop him,

As he barged out of the front door i gathered my coat and hat, it was raining so in addition i snatched my umbrella for him to use once i found him. I didn't have to worry about him terrorizing townsfolk too much because i live a long hike of 2 miles. He couldn't have gotten far by the time i have dressed myself appropriately. As i had locked the door behind me i found him sitting in a mud puddle splashing it all around his clothes and ripped skin, he had a smile implanted on his face.

“So you like the rain huh?” i asked him with a c***ed smile. He turned and bellowed out a hearty laugh. He had found happiness. He didn't exactly know how to control his emotions, he just felt in the moment. The heavy rain had drowned his clothes which were already squeezing his body. It was at that moment of pure joy i had thought of a name for him; “lusus naturae frankenstein” but lusus for short. He had still been laughing from the common weather phenomenon when i had brought him inside. I told him to sit and wait on the couch in the living room. As i returned to him i smiled to find him posed as i left him. If he didn't stay there i wouldn't have let him play outside. During my walk to my studies i had grabbed a dictionary. I wanted him to learn and be knowledgeable. About a month in he had been able to form some broken english. 3 months in and he could grasp the basic question and sentences.  5 months of cramming english and literature into lucius's brain and we could talk like “normal” people, of course he had stumbled over a few words but so did i sometimes. Almost every day we would stroll outside and even without the rain he had smiled, he had appreciated nature's gift to mankind. His favorite flower near the house was the daisies, i had picked one and placed it in between his ear and his bald head. I thought of presenting him to others.

“Too soon” i reminded myself. His appearance would frighten them, if only they could hear him speak, hear what he thinks, hear lusus and not a monstrosity. Lusus was becoming more mature, he was built a man but his brain had to develop. After i had him start his journal daily, he had always wanted to go to the lake.  So i said to him;”if you complete your entry before the sunsets then you may g to the lake.”.  I watched lusus methodically walk toward the lake after another day of writing, he had stopped to pick daisies and brush the trees It had darkened into the night sooner than i had expected and lusus was not home. I had hurriedly gathered my coat and lantern and rushed into the night outside. After what seemed like hours i had found him standing in the shallows of the lake grasping what looked like a large blanket. I had only hoped it was a large blanket. I hear lusus sobbing quietly and speaking “i'm sorry” to nature's cold wind.

“Lusus what is it that you're holding?” i asked cautiously, he had turned to me and i nearly fell backwards with  bewilderment.  Our neighbor, the Delacey’s daughter had drowned.  I had hoped lusus had nothing to do with this girl. Upon further inspection i had found large handprints imprinted on the girl's arms, like she had been thrown into the depths of the deathly cold lake. Water had poured out of the girls mouth, like trickles of lightning. She was dead no doubt. From the look of remorse on Lusus’s face i then knew he took responsibility for her death. I proceeded to ask him.

“do you know what you have done?”, he shook his head softly.

“You killed her, ended her precious life, she cannot see her family anymore because of you”.  He began to wail a cry and tears cascaded down his face.

“We’ll bury her at morrows first light” i said to him in a low tone. I didn't get a wink of sleep that night knowing he brought a innocent life to a halt. He could've killed me in fact. I exited my room to fim him sanding at the front door with his hand upon the window.

“May i go outside?” he asked with the choke of tears. I could hear the emptiness within him. The sunlight had creeped into my bedroom light a nightmare, a nightmare where today i had to bury my neighbors daughter because lusus had killed her. I sat at my bedside weeping softly. I had to take control of him, otherwise he might kill again accidently.

Our neighbor had soon started to wonder where their daughter was but i had to time to dauttle.

“I shouldn't waste time, her corpse would soon start to smell” i thought  to myself. I shuffled out of my room with my robe and find lusus still standing at the door,gazing, he hadn't moved since last night. He had worn a frown upon his yellow skin and his eyes had remained shadowed, hidden from mine. He had been looking out into the morning mist with a dull look.

“Lusus please come sit with me .” i asked him with a yawn. He still stands at the door watching.

“LUSUS!” i raised  my voice at him, usually he’d cringe at my temper but this time he remained focused on the mist.

I grasped his hand to walk him outside, i couldn't  move him. He was completely unaffected by my pleading. Finally after his long gaze into the morning he nodded his head and srided into the back yard. I followed him outside and handed him a shovel.

“You dig your mess” i said to him blandly. After the sweat poured down our dirty skin he had stopped and planted his shovel, protruding from the ground. I grew tired of simply watching him dig, so i went inside and sat in the damp air. As i watched lusus pat down the final mound of dirt he began to weep once again, he looked at me and did not utter a word, yet he spoke to me “you did this to me”. I was then brimmed with fear, i was a pot boiling with the waters of fear. He then started to approach the door with his bulbous feet. My paranoia festered into my mind and i silently scream as i saw lusus as a creature of murderous intent.

He finally stood before me, placing a single large hand upon my shoulder. “He’s going to break me like a twig..” i so willingly accepted my death.

Lusus then proved my ambitions wrong, he brushed the dirt off my shirt and smiled.

“Thank you father ,for teaching me” he had such a pure response to my bewilderment. He then strolled inside,trailing dirt in as he did. As i tried to comprehend what he had spoke, i too trailed the dirt inside my abode.

Lusus and me had been together long enough to know our emotions had held specific behaviours: when i was sad i would lay in my bed and listen to my phonograph play  the classical geniuses bach and mozart. Lusus knew when i was tempered i was not to be bothered, he knew when after a hard days work i always craved a peanut butter sandwich. So by the time i had changed out of my filthy garments, lusus had crafted me a delectable sandwich. After eating we had sat down and i proceeded to ask him more questions.

“Do you feel happiness?”

“Yes”he responded.

“Do you feel sadness and remorse?”

Again he replied “yes”.

“Do you fear death?”

He had paused for a moment and thought, “no”

With ending on a silent note, i had decided to get some rest. I had slept for the rest of the day.
By the morrow i was reinvigorated and ready to pick up some food from the market in town. I had always been an early bird, that's when everything is cheap. I looked lusus as he was slouched upon the couch, he could never sleep, the poor restless man.

“May i come along?” he asked me with yearning.

“Sure, dress appropriately.” i had cautioned him. He had donned his heavy coat, his gloves, his scarf,even his hat and wooden mask he had crafted one day. With that apparel nobody could see who or what he really was. There wasn't too many people that early in the day but we would have to hurry.

On our hike, nature had been kind and gave us the present of a nice cool wind. Along the long trail we had conversed on the critters nesting in the chimney and laughed. As we had finally entered the market i told lusus i would just be a moment to purchase some bread. As it had seemed just i left his presence a child had run past him and snatched his scarf. The scarf apparently had felt lonely and grabbed his mask and hat with it plummeting to the ground. The child stumbled as he stole these apparels from lusus and then looked at him with his mouth agape. The vendor had petrified disgusted look and stared. Lusus couldn't move due to his paralyzing fear of judgment. He did not fear death, he feared abandonment, like a child or dog, or any respectable man really, nobody wants to be alone.  As the crowds approached us, we found ourselves swarmed with hatred. The people were fond of boring, of uniform. These people exiled the freaks and abolished different. Although lusus had towered above these people he had looked up to them.

As i stood next to him he reached into his pockets and picked up his mask with the other hand. Out of the depths in his pockets emerged a single mask.  He stared into the empty eyes of the mask and saw the ugly faces of the townspeople. With the voice of a fallen angel he spoke to the unworthy.

“I am living, yet i am not alive, i am a genetic pool of your loved ones. I am in-human and thus discriminated among you as the worthy and the prioritized. My father, my creator, victor,made me me like this. I cannot sleep, i cannot dream, and i can never be like you. My name is Lusus naturae frankenstein, that is latin for “freak of nature”. So i stand before you knowing my existence is but a burden among you. I know you must yearn to see me fall before judgment. To stomp on my grave and scorn victor for my assembly. So i shall give thee your eternal desire!” with these final words he struck the match on his mask and donned the mask over his face. As the fire crawled over his skin he does not move, he does not fear death. His arms and legs burned to the marrow and he fell crippled before his audience. The unworthy watched with awe,  with disbelief. Not a word was spread between them as his flesh melted like the draperies on a grand window. I stood watching his body turn to ash and crisp. When his skin was crisped, so burned his muscles. When his muscles were melted, so blazed his bones. When his bones had passed his judgment executed by the people, all that remained  where his bleached teeth i had cleaned so vigorously that night….






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