Recipe for sneaking food into the movies

April 7, 2017
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Materials:


One humongous trench coat
One pair of baggy cargo sweatpants
One pair of aviator sunglasses
One movie coupon
Two rotisserie chickens
One heap of snickers bars
One footlong baguette
One 64 ounce Big Gulp cup

Directions:


Start by putting on your humongous trench coat.
Head to the store and start purchasing your materials.
Start packing the items into your pants and jacket.  Put the chickens in your trench coat pockets, while putting the snickers bars and baguette in your sweatpants that are already sagging. (If your Big Gulp does not fit in your pocket try to just carry it in.)

The movie coupon should be put in the easily accessible pocket in your jacket.
Pull up to the theater and put on your aviator sunglasses, walk in and use your movie ticket coupon. (At this time the employees will be very suspicious but just play it cool.)
Then sprint to your theater so you can get a good seat. (Don’t worry about losing a few snickers bars because you’ll be going so fast nobody will be able to see it was you.)
Sit in the back so nobody will be able to look over your shoulder at you.
Start eating the heap of snickers in your pockets because those will melt fast in the steamy theater.  But you can’t forget about the chickens because you can’t let those get cold either.
Neighboring people will start to smell your chicken and hear your wrappers, but they’ll be jealous of you so ignore them.


Employees will soon come to aisle and kick you out but hey at least you got to eat reasonable food during the film!






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