But You Didn't | Teen Ink

But You Didn't

March 15, 2016
By ShadowLock BRONZE, Edison, New Jersey
ShadowLock BRONZE, Edison, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"You got no jams." - Rap Monster


  Leaves, drawn by the wind, scraped the ground. The outstretched branches of trees carried leaves of many unique shapes. Vibrant shades of dried blood reds, fiery oranges, and lime yellows were in every corner of the town. The bright greens of Summer had faded away and welcomed a new maze of delightful colors. One could just simply look up and think, "Gorgeous," but that would be an understatement, for the town seemed to strangely liven up with the change of season. But then again, nothing could be full of happiness. Everyone had known that when this picturesque alteration arrived, with it, school followed.

  Weary children gathered in the front of the gnarled old tree, that acted like a school bus stop. Among those children was Park Ji Min, or just Jimin. He stood looking up at the tree's branches, like distorted stretched limbs, reaching out to the sky. Shivers ran down his spine at the unpleasant sight. It seemed to take the form of a man, holding up the sky. Nothing was so disturbing in that, was there? But Jimin saw something more. He saw the pain that the man was facing in his wrangled branches that resembled arms. It was just a disturbing sight.
  "Hello. What are you looking at?" a voice behind him said. It was a fruity voice, but seemed much like a whisper. It was sweet to his ears, surprising him as he turned around to inspect the person that it belonged to. It was a boy, a little taller than himself, with tousled jet black hair that spiked up at the front. He wore a loose black shirt with the words, "One Of A Kind" printed on it, and grey sweat pants. A 'Vans' backpack clung onto his back, and next to him was a duffle bag, that seemed a little overstuffed.
  "Oh, um... Nothing really, just the tree," he pointed up with a shaky hand. It's not that Jimin was shy. It was just that, this boy had startled him, when he was already freaking out about the ugly tree.
  "Oh," the taller boy paused," scary looking..."
  "I'm Hoseok, by the way. Jung Hoseok, but you can call me J-Hope!"
   "I'm Park Jimin! Nice to meet you, J-Hope," he said with a grin. "Are you a G Dragon fan?" Jimin asked, his eyes trailing to Hoseok's shirt.
   The boy's eyes widened in surprise and he asked, "Yeah ....How did you know?"
Laughing, Jimin pointed to the words, "One Of A Kind."  J-Hope started to sing, "Hellooooooooooo, yes sir, I'm one of a kind! This is my favorite shirt,"
"Well I've found a friend!" the shorter boy mused.
"Who?" the other questioned, his face showing innocence and sincerity.
"You!"
"Ah. Makes sense, I'm too likable!"
"So how old are you? I'm 13."
"I'm 14. Guess what? I'm your hyung!"
"Well okay then J-Hope hyung," The younger boy smiled. It was nice meeting new people once in awhile. Especially when they were so easy to mingle with. Hoseok's bubbly personality just seemed to mush freely with Jimin's buoyant one.
"So how do you feel about going to a school where you have to be away from home?" J-Hope's voice had went a little lower. He hadn't really thought about it that much, but when J-Hope had said it in such a easy going manner, it pierced him like a sharp blade. How would he be able to live being so far from his family? His mother had cried as she waved him goodbye, but he hadn't felt it through something as simple as the shedding of tears. He felt it through the empathy of the boy that was in front of him. The boy who acted so calm and happy, but was just as shocked as he was to be experiencing something as new and uneasy as this. Jimin could see right through the set smile on J-Hope's face like a window. But not only because they were going through the same thing. It was because he saw J-Hope as sort of an interesting character. One who had a emotional barrier like transparent glass. Easily readable.
"Um...I don't know. I guess it'll be cool? Dorms sound daebak." He stated with nonchalance, sliding one hand into his pocket and the other to push up his cherry red hair that had started to fall onto his forehead.
"Yeah," the older boy said looking up at the dimly lit Autumn sky," at least we don't have uniforms."
                                                  ~Several Hour later~
  " Jung Hoseok and Park Jimin will share room 222," the professor at the front of the room announced. J-Hope's eyes scanned the room in search of a familiar face. His eyes stopped when the spotted a tuft of cherry red a few seats across. Below the mop of crimson hair, he could make out eyes staring at him, and under that was a mouth wearing a wide grin. The same one he had seen this morning. He quickly flashed a smile back. So he was going to be sharing a dorm room with Jimin. He didn't seem that bad this morning. Pretty friendly in fact. But he thought it was cool how they had met before they had even known they were to share a dorm.
The school bell rung loudly, bouncing off of walls, signaling that the students were to leave to their dorms. J-Hope began to get up until his teacher screamed, "Class the bell doesn't dismiss you! I do!" which left the black haired boy wondering what the bell's purpose was.
"Make sure you take the right key on the way out. Remember your room numbers." the teacher had officially dismissed them. Before walking to the door, J-Hope grabbed a key with a tag that read, " ROOM 222 "
"Hyung!" a mellow voice said from behind. J-Hope felt a hand on his shoulder. A shiver ran down his spine. He spinned around, eyes wide.
"Jimin~ah! You scared me!" he breathed a breath of relief .He examined the boy. Everything was the same, other than the cheesy smile on his face.
"So hyung, how does it feel to share a room with the the king of awesome?" the older boy rolled his eyes and joked, "If I had known you would be this annoying, I would have begged the teacher to switch rooms."
"You don't mean that do you, Hoseok hyung?" the red headed boy jutted out his lower lip in an adorable pout.
"I don't," he admitted.
"Yeah!" Hoseok flinched as he was drawn into the younger boy's cheery embrace. He felt sort of at home with that.
"Let's get to the dorm." J-Hope said, avoiding eye contact with the younger.
As soon as they got to the room, J-Hope slid his key into the lock, trying to ignore the hand resting on his shoulder. Turning the knob he pushed the door open.
   "Yaaaaaaaaaaay!" a very happy Jimin ran into the room full speed. The older looked at him with quite a quizzical expression on his face. How could someone with such a laid back attitude earlier get excited so quickly? Adrenaline? A smile made it's way onto his lips.
   The dorm was 4 roomed. One big living room, a bathroom, and two bedrooms. It was small, and didn't take up much space, but was also very tidy. The older boy opened the door to one of the bedrooms and unpacked his bags. There was a twin sized bed with 3 drawers at the bottom of the frame, probably for holding clothes. On the other side of the room was a small study table with a lamp on it. Reaching for the lamp, he twisted a small knob until he heard a click. The room was filled with a dim yellow glow. He stepped backwards a bit and ended up sitting on his new bed.
  "I can live with this," he whispered.
  "Hyung come look at my room!" the red headed boy offered poking his head through the door. J-Hope nodded and followed. Jimin open the door revealing a room, similar to the elders, except with two Big Bang posters on the wall.
   "Awesome!" The black haired boy said smiling broadly.
   "Thanks!"
                                                   ~A month later~
   "I'm sorry hyung! I really really didn't mean to! Please don't be mad!" Jimin pleaded. He looked up at the black haired boy who was staring in shock at the white hoodie on the ground, stained with coffee. Great Jimin. Just great. You have to mess up your hyung's favorite hoodie. Just have to. Jimin scolded himself mentally. J-Hope's expression went from shocked to calm. He wore a smile that showed no sarcasm. A genuine smile. A nice smile.
   "It's fine Jiminnie," his words were soothing,"I can just get another,"  Jimin got up and smiled a confused smile. It was hard for him to believe that someone could be so friendly. Especially when the hoodie he had stained was so precious to the other. J-Hope had told him it was a gift from his mother on his 10th birthday. Apparently, it was waaaaaay to loose, so he kept it until he could fit into it.
   "Really? But, you wear this one everyday..."
   "Yeah, but it is white right? I'll bleach it or something."
   "So your not mad?"
   "Do I look mad?"
   "Not really bu-"
   "So, I'm not mad!"
   "Yay!" Jimin squealed, squeezing J-Hope in the process. If this hyung was so generous all the time, he wondered what would make him angry.
                                                  ~Two Months Later~
   There were a few small taps on the glass of the window. J-Hope turned to face the glass. He stared as snow fiercely blew down the streets of the town in a blinding white blur. As soon as he had seen this, the warmth of his dorm had faded. It seemed cold, like the outside, only it lacked snow. He rotated, so now his back was facing the widow. After he had pulled the warm fuzzy blanket of his bed, he cocooned himself in it and rushed to the small living room of his shared dorm.
   On the couch was his roommate, wrapped in a layer of blankets as well, sipping steaming hot chocolate out of a porcelain mug. Motioning for the younger to move, J-Hope made himself comfortable on the seat next to the other.
   "Jiminnie," he said with a quiet voice.
   "Hyung," the cherry haired boy replied with a hoarse voice.
   "How are you feeling?"
   "Better hyung. Thanks for the hot chocolate. It's nice and warm," J-Hope turned to face the boy. He wore a smile, similar how he thought the hot chocolate would taste - warm and sweet. He mirrored the smile, warm, sweet, and this time, reassuring as well. The younger boy was sick, and J-Hope had discovered that when Jimin got sick, he got a little delusional. Occasionally, the younger would freak out over his claim that little birds were flying in his room, when there was nothing there, or say that the snow had turned to lava and everything was burning, or something even more ridiculous, so J-Hope had decided to keep a close watch on his friend. Just to make sure he didn't become unglued over the fact that his feet were hands or something.
   "Hyung, can I have more?" Jimin held out his mug with both hands, as if trying to absorb the remaining heat lingering on the glossy surface of the porcelain. A grin appeared on J-Hope's lips as he nodded.
   "Of course, your hyung is the best at these things you know,"
     
                                                    ~Two Months Later~
 
   "Jiminnie!" A familiar voice came from behind Jimin as he stepped into the sand and laughed.
   "Your slow Hobi hyung!" He crossed his arms and pouted. Hobi. A nickname he had created for the older as the year progressed. Jimin dug his feet deep into the coarse peachy colored sand underneath him as he waited for a tired-of-running J-Hope.
   "It looks like it might rain," the taller boy said as he gazed into the sky full of gray cumulo stratus clouds.

   "No, I don't think so hyung. Besides, we'll only take one dip!"
   "Ah, okay," he smiled.
   Jimin rushed for the shore. He waited for the cool waves to crash into his ankles and make him jump. He shivered as the water made contact with his skin, and then watched the waves recede into the ocean. He took a step forward ...And another ...And another ...Until his waist was completely submerged in water. He pushed the cold dark blue-green surface of the liquid with both hands simultaneously. The heat of the spring day seemed to vanish as he waded in the water. A cool drop of liquid fell onto his forehead. Bewildered, Jimin looked around to see if anyone had splashed sea water at him. There were a few people around, but they were all too far to have been the culprit. He turned around to see Hoseok, alone taking a leisurely walk along the shore line, so he couldn't have done it. Then he saw several droplets of water pattering against the surface of the ocean, rippling the smooth exterior of the water. More and more drops kept coming, increasing their speed and force. Jimin rushed out of  the water and shivered up the beach.
   "Jiminnie! Over here!" The rain sound (lol B.A.P reference) seemed to muffle out the shouting. The cherry headed boy looked into the distance to see a figure flailing out it's arms, in an attempt to call for him. He ran through the cold attack of rain drops to an open area with a roof where the figure awaited him.
   "Jiminnie, your all wet," He was greeted by a concerned J-Hope. The older boy reached out for a towel an started to ruffle the younger's hair with it.
   "That's the point of a beach anyway hyung!" Jimin laughed, trying to hide the fact that his body was trembling from the cold. Hyung was right, he thought as the older wrapped a blanket around him, It was going to rain. Should've listened. He watched the older half smile at his remark.
   "Yeah," the black haired boy stated. Jimin stared at him. Isn't he going to say, 'I told you so'? he questioned mentally. That was what most people had told Jimin when he had been wrong about something. 'I told you so,' they would tease. "What's wrong?" J-Hope asked with a frown.
   "Nothin--" Jimin hesitated to say the word as he held in a cough.
   "Looks like you're getting sick. The water was really cold today," the older boy looked worried. Jimin nodded while coughing a bit.
    "Let's go back," J-hope smiled.
 
                                                              ~Two Months Later~

    "Hyung please d-don't go!" The red haired boy pleaded. The stinging tears that pooled in his eyes threatened to fall.
     J-hope pulled the boy into an embrace, and automatically, like a boomerang, felt a pair of arms squeeze him tightly. He felt the cloth on his shoulder soak up Jimin's warm tears.
     "I have to, Jimminie," J-hope stated calmly, trying to sooth his friend.
     "But, why?" Jimin sniffled, his voice muffled by J-Hope's shoulder.
     "I," he hesitated. Why was he going again? He didn't know, but he had made up his mind. "I don't know, but, if they are taking people younger than 18, it must be important right?"
     Jimin detached himself from the hug and began to wipe his tears. His sobs whacked nonstop against his chest. It was a painful sight. Painful indeed, but J-Hope forced himself not to look away. It might give the other boy the wrong idea.
     "P-please Hyung! Y-You're better off h-here at the academy anyway! H-have you seen your t-test sc-scores? You are the smartest one h-here! Besides, the war is d-dangerous!"
     J-Hope smiled and repeated with uncertainty,"I have to,"

                                                        ~A Week Later~
 
     Jimin stared distantly out the window. His gaze was empty. He got up off the couch and looked around. The room had a very... unpleasant feeling. He sighed and started to walk towards his bedroom. He looked down as he walked,but then looked up after stopping at the door to the room that was directly next to his. Hyung's room, Jimin thought as he slowly reached for the doorknob. When he opened the door, he expected to be greeted by a familiar face. By his best friend, caretaker, motivator, and so much more. Instead, he was greeted by a dim, empty room, that held a heart piercing silence. As he walked through the doorway, memories flashed by him. Pillow fights and quiet nights and study sessions. Fist bumps and bro hugs and casual conversations about G Dragon.
   With the absence of J-Hope, Jimin felt like he was untwining.

                                                              ~Two Months Later~

   "Um, hello, Mr.Im, may I see Jimin for a while," The loudspeaker boomed. Jimin looked up from the chalkboard the teacher was writing on with a quizzical expression on his face.
   "Of course sir," Mr.Im stated and gestured for Jimin to leave. The red haired boy gathered his things and made way for the head teacher's office. He hadn't done anything wrong, so what could be the reason that he was supposed to go? Darn am I in trouble?
   When he got to the head teacher's room, he took a deep breath and entered.
   "Sir, you called me down..."
   "Ah yes. Park Jimin isn't it?" The man looked down at his interlocked hands that were positioned on his desk. "I have some... news..." he looked up and their eyes met. The man's eyes happened to be an intense mint green. He scanned the boy as if searching through his soul.
   "Yes, sir,"
   "You previously shared a dorm with, Jung Hoseok," He paused, "and I believe the two of you were quite close, am I right?"
   His eyes widened.
   "Yes sir!" Jimin gasped hopefully. He stepped forward an inch.
   "I recently have received a message from the army, saying that..." The man eyes looked back down again.
   "Saying what sir?" Jimin was now trembling. He tried to hide it.
   "It... said that he is currently MIA..."
   These few words was all it took. Jimin's sight blurred slightly, but he told himself not to cry. Not here. Not in front of someone.
   "It really is very shocking. He was the best student at the academy until he had pulled out. He was a role model as well, he got along with everyone." Jimin felt his hands clench into fists. He gritted his teeth. Is that all you see him as? A role model, a student? That's all? Hoseok hyung was an amazing person! He, can't be gone, he can't... Jimin looked at the time to try to think of an excuse to leave the room. The time was 10:55, and because it was a digital clock, the numbers seemed to resemble letters that spelled out a word. LO:SS. It spelled the word loss.
    "Sir, thank you for informing me, b-but I really should g-get going," Jimin walked out of the room, but instead of going to class, he headed for the bathroom.
    Every step he took, something formed in Jimin's chest. Guilt. It clumped and clumped until his blood seemed to be just liquid regret. I should've stopped him. I should've stopped him from going. He always protected me, and now, because of me, he's missing. For all we know, he could be dead.? A single tear raced down Jimin's cheek, followed by another, until, like rain, Jimin's face was was covered in a fresh layer of salty tears. Yes, hyung, there are a lot of times I messed up, but you coped with me, and protected me, and were like my big brother. I wanted to pay you pack for that when you came back, but you didn't.


The author's comments:

BASED ON THE CHINESE POEM, "But You Didn't" BY MERRIL GLASS

 

ALL OF THE WRITING IS MINE! PLEASE DO NOT COPY IT!

 

Characters are not mine, they are real people:

BTS  Jung "J-Hope" Hoseok, and BTS  Park Ji Min

 

I honestly do not know what I just wrote. Please have mercy on my errors. Thank you! BAI!! 


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