Wolf's Little Red Riding Hood

June 6, 2014
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“Get outa here wolf! Your kind isn't welcomed ‘round here!” said a hunter.

“One day you will all pay for this” I replied. After an encounter with a huntsman, my leg was badly injured. I have tried to hunt down my regular prey but even they are now quicker than me. The world seemed to have been against me until I saw a beautiful young lady. She left her village wearing a red hood that seemed to fit her well. I was mesmerized by how she walked, so oblivious to the world around her. Seeming so defenseless, she looked like the perfect meal. She was coming closer to me, my heart started to beat fast. However, there were woodcutters roaming on the outskirts of the village. So, I decided I would just chat with her, find out where she is going. When she approached me, I asked her kindly like the gentleman I am, “What is your name darling?”

“Everyone calls me Little Red Riding Hood Mr. Wolf”.

“Where are you going to Little Red Riding Hood?”

“I am going to my grandmother’s house down this road”.

“Are you going alone?”

“Yes I am. I know you are probably thinking that I am too young but, I can take care of myself”.

“I would never, assume such a thing. Where does your grandmother live again?”

“Down the road should be the first house in the village beyond the mill”.

“Would you like me to accompany you?”

“No thank you, I have been told not to walk with strangers”.

“Okay I’ll race you to her house then. You wouldn't be walking with a stranger that way”. With that, I set off to go to her grandmother’s house. My leg is still in pain so I cannot run too fast. As the pain increases, my anger towards humans increased. It gave me more of a reason to eat them. Glee starts to flow throughout my body. This will be my first meal in a long time. A mixture of delight and hunger caused me to go head first, hitting the wall of Granny’s house. If only, that house was made out of straws and not bricks. I feel like I have gotten a concussion from this moldy house. I knocked on the door and the grandma called out,
“Be quiet out there! I’m trying to rest!”

I tried to mimic the little girl’s voice and said, “Grandma! It’s me! I brought you a cake and butter from mother”.

“Leave me alone! I don’t want girl scout cookies!”

“Grandma it’s me, Momma Hood’s daughter!”

“Don’t come in here. I’m sick and I do not want to pass it down to you”.

“It’s okay grandma. I’ll just set everything out on your doorstep”. With that, I hid behind her house and waited for her to open her front door. What I didn’t know is that she had a back door. She snuck up behind me, took off her chancla, and then smacked me with it. I just stared at her, amazed by what she just did. Regaining my senses, I see her going on her tippy toes, waving her arms from side to side, screaming words that are not even in English. She looked like the biggest fool I have ever seen. I allowed her to do this dance before I ate her up as she looked like she needed the practice. I didn’t like the meal because she tasted like dust but, I was really desperate for food. Out in the distance I heard a girl yelling at a rock for tripping her. It resembled Little Red Riding Hood’s voice and then I recalled why I was even here. I ran inside the grandma’s house and unlocked the front door. Then, quickly I hid in the granny’s bed. I looked around the room to find a better place to hide. But, before I can relocate myself Little Red Riding Hood knocked on the door. She asked, “Grandma are you in there?”

I replied trying to mimic the grandma’s voice, “Yes I am, come on in through the front”. She entered the room and saw me but mistook me as her grandma.
“Are you feeling well grandma?”
“My sickness is getting worse, come over here so I can hug you”.
“I know you and mom told me to not to walk with strangers but, there was this wolf that
should have been here. Have you seen him? He was really nice”.

I was touched by this and asked her, “Oh really, what else do you think of this wolf?”

“Well that was about it. His breath smelled like he ate stink bugs all his life and he seemed to have a bad memory”.

“I do not think his breath smells like stink bugs. By the end of the night, I bet it smells more like humans with a slight bit of dust”. Little Red Riding Hood looked eyes opened wide and she began to run. I jumped out of bed and chased her down. As I was running, I noticed she was taking a shortcut straight back to her village! She was barely faster than me but when she went into the woods, I knew I could cut her off. I got in front of her making her come to a complete stop. She begged me, “Please, don’t eat me Mr. Wolf! I have not done one thing wrong”.

“You have not done anything wrong to me personally, except making me suffer from near starvation”. I tried to run towards her but instead of running I was limping. My leg was still injured and she soon realized that. So, she turned and faced me then threw her chancla! It hit me hard on the head knocking me out. When I awoke, I saw the light, and in that light, the little girl began to eat me. Now, I am in heaven writing, hopefully to allow me to get past the gates into wolf paradise.

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