Gone. | Teen Ink

Gone.

January 22, 2013
By Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
20 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you."
-Ernest Hemingway


You know that you should have warned me, my dear. I could have helped you, or maybe saved you. I could have been there for you instead of just standing helpless by your side, where I have always been, and looking at you with eyes of a traitor. Truth be told, I'm not the traitor in this scenario; you where the one changing in front of my eyes. A new man. I didn't know this new man at all. And I looked into new eyes and saw into the new soul and didn't like what I saw because it wasn't you anymore. And on the split second of looking in those new blue eyes I thought the world over.

I never thought that you would leave me. You're an institution of my life; one of those people who seem to be there whether they fit or not or you want them to be or not. The thing is, I have always wanted you there. Even before you popped into my life I knew there was someone missing, I just never would have guessed the person who would make me full. And after I have known you I never would have guessed what it would feel like when you were gone.

Yes, gone, my dear. Because I don't know the man that I look at now. He doesn't look like you or behave like you or think like you or breathe like you or love like you. Or at least like you did. Because just because this man has all of the same being as you doesn't mean that he is the man I love- and he certainly isn't. Even you wouldn't deny that he is not you. You are dead, my dear.

The worst part is that in the short time that you have been in my life I have become a new person as well. And the old me I tossed out with the trash the moment I met you, forming completely into your companion. But what am I without you. Because the old me is certainly just as dead as you. And it would be just as impossible to raise this wrong version of me from the dead as to bring you back into your changed body, or to reform myself into the mold of this new man who has taken your stead. So did you know that that so far in my life you have killed me twice? Once in showing up and taking me on such wondrous journeys that I died of awe and was born again in your mold. And then again just here as my mold disappears before I am completely dried. Don't worry though, my dear. I have only ever loved you for it. I suppose that is our thing: saving each other from ourselves.

I remember once that you told me I had saved you. You said that you used to be a different man, and that you had changed only when I came into your life. I don't suppose you were telling the truth. Rule one, you lie. And I know for certain that this couldn't be the case because I was hardly a strong enough person to stand up by myself, let alone fix a person so incredible as you. I'm just sorry that you thought you had to lie. I know why you did too, not then but just know I realize after you are already gone.

I knew exactly how our relationship would work out in the end. I knew exactly how it would end and I tried so hard to avoid it, I really did. But how could I not love you? You who pops into my life when I have fallen so far and stumbled along through the ordinary world. You who takes me to somewhere extraordinary, who takes me to everywhere. You who knew exactly who I was from the moment you saw me, even when I didn't know myself. You who knew I would love you because you knew everything about me and who tried so hard to prevent it because you knew what it would mean.

Because it is you who can never have love. Or happiness. Because you are terrified that it will be torn away. And because I love you I tried so hard to not love you. But you always knew that it would not work. You took a helpless girl out of her personal pit of fiery heck and told her exactly who she was, and it was exactly the person she had always wanted to be. How could she not love you. But I suppose this is why we are here. Me staring into strange and distant eyes where yours were seconds ago. You gone. No, my dear, I never thought that you would leave me, and I never thought that I would be so helpless if you did.

You who filled my holes. You who saved me from myself. You whose side I always would stand by. You whose steady eyes finally swayed. Whose side do I stand by now? His? Even though he is not you? And am I supposed to look at him and smile when he smiles at me, knowing that he is not the man I love? And laugh with him and reminisce because he has all of your memories. Our memories. Thought over in a new mind and spoken through a new mouth and breaking me into pieces with every syllable. You really should have warned me, my dear. You should have told me what on Earth I am supposed to do now that you are gone.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 23 comments.


on Jun. 8 2017 at 7:57 pm
Artistic_Geek_Roo_10 SILVER, Albuquerque, New Mexico
6 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Happiness can be found in the darkest of places, but only if one remembers to turn on the light."
Albus Dumbledore

Wow! Great piece! This was fantastically written!

OldYoungOne said...
on Mar. 19 2013 at 3:24 pm
I agree it seemed to repeat on and on but  think it kind of worked to your advantage because I got to thinking that this woman was completely mad because she does not know what to do with herself. It was beautifully written one of my favorite pieces. Well done apollo :)

on Mar. 13 2013 at 10:42 pm
KealliiRaycene BRONZE, Sumter, South Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
So what? All writers are lunatics- Cornelia Funk

Um...Wow.I know that sounds very juvenile, but that was amazing. I loved the repetition of 'my dear', usually that irks my nerves, but that was done very tastefully. GREAT work!

on Feb. 23 2013 at 6:31 pm
EmmaTheDilemma SILVER, Ravenna, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Now i feel like an idiot. I got to this story through the writers page. Didn't see it was fan fiction :P

on Feb. 23 2013 at 6:28 pm
EmmaTheDilemma SILVER, Ravenna, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

I liked your story a lot. I didn't even realize it was fan fiction

on Feb. 7 2013 at 9:53 am
Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
20 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you."
-Ernest Hemingway

I know it isn't really a fan fiction like you'd expect, but I felt guilty that I got the plot and emotion from a show and didn't promote it...thanks so much!

on Feb. 6 2013 at 11:26 pm
WhenItRains21 GOLD, Magnolia, Texas
12 articles 0 photos 54 comments
Hmmm... I hate to say it, but this seemed to drag on a bit for me. It's beaurifully written, but it just seems a bit long. It might just be that it's a bit repetitive to me. 

on Feb. 6 2013 at 11:30 am
Sketched97 PLATINUM, Silver Spring, Maryland
31 articles 4 photos 168 comments
This is good! I didn't understand what it was a fan fiction for until I saw your comment, but it doesn't matter. It's written really well and left me speechless. Well done!

on Feb. 4 2013 at 3:37 pm
jaimeexo SILVER, Hope, Rhode Island
7 articles 5 photos 6 comments
this was simply beautiful! it was worded to ellegantly 

on Feb. 1 2013 at 8:29 pm
Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
20 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you."
-Ernest Hemingway

thanks so much! that's so nice, and I'd love to write a longer piece about this but that would take way more imagination than I have...:)

on Feb. 1 2013 at 7:41 pm
kenzie13 BRONZE, Chapel Hill, North Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
This is fantastic! I really love your style. I absolutely adore the line "You are dead, my dear" in this context; it completely changed the piece as a whole in my mind. I can't help but think about expanding that line. I think that you could easily make that into a really interesting beginning (or even a start to a different piece). You could start with that and continue to show that the person isn't literally dead, but a new person. Great job!! (:

on Feb. 1 2013 at 3:19 pm
Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
20 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you."
-Ernest Hemingway

sorry, that reply started with: what subject exactly, do you mind.... I guess it got cut off

on Feb. 1 2013 at 3:18 pm
Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
20 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you."
-Ernest Hemingway

st exactly, do you mind me asking? because I know that pretty much everything I write is like this...it would be interesting to know. Also, like I said the characters are based off of but not from dr who, so I really appreciate that you liked them!

on Feb. 1 2013 at 10:06 am
CariePierce BRONZE, Lancaster, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination rules the world." -Napoleon Bonaparte

Very beautiful. I've heard this subject plenty of times before, but you made it new and intelligent. I love the characters you weave, and I look forward to your future stories.

on Jan. 31 2013 at 10:46 pm
MorenSore SILVER, Albuquerque, New Mexico
9 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Liberty is not the power of doing what we like, but the right of being able to do what we ought."
~Lord Acton

there is great insight and emotion to this story, i think you would really enjoy a story of mine called How to ave a life

on Jan. 31 2013 at 7:24 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

I rally like it! :) I didn't think it was too long winded. It couldv'e been shorter but it is good the way it is. :)

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Jan. 30 2013 at 7:39 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Good, it dragged on a little towards the end, but otherwise it was good.

Xenolith said...
on Jan. 30 2013 at 6:30 pm
Xenolith, -, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I will eat your brains and gain your knowledge."



Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them."
I say "If you can't beat them, beat them," because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

Ah, I see what you mean!  If you put a comma after it to indicate a pause, ("You, gone.") it might help. Of course, it could just be me.  I read words backwards and mix up letters occasionally, so punctuation is important for me to get things.  Others might get where you wre going with that better than I did. >.<

on Jan. 30 2013 at 5:49 pm
GreekGoddess BRONZE, Andover, Connecticut
3 articles 0 photos 182 comments
Thats really good! I liked it. My only problem was at times since it goes on for so long, that I got a little bit distracted at times. Anyway it was good!

on Jan. 30 2013 at 5:32 pm
Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
20 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you."
-Ernest Hemingway

yay, that wasn't so much a typo as a failed attempt at being fancy thing, i guess. it was suppose to be stating the situation that they got into, you know. Me: starring into cold eyes blah blah blah. you: gone. but whatever, thanks so much!