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Cinderella

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Once upon a time lived a very wealthy princess named Cinderella.
She has two sisters that work for her in a five star restraunt.
She married a poor man. They got married & had two kids and lived in a mansion.
One day they were reading the
newspaper and it said that they have
gone broke. They were all confused they rushed straight to the editor of the newspaper. When they got there Cinderella asked why it was in the newspaper.
He said that two girls came by and told him to put it in the newspaper.
Then Cinderella asked who the girls look like.
He said that they were here sisters. Then she rushed home and put her sisters in the dungeon. They went back to newspaper editor & told him that was not true. Then Cinderella went on a search for new workers. She stopped several times and never found one.
The next day some one came into the restraint
and asked if she would be right for the job. Cinderella asked her some questions. Then a couple hours later she came out and said you are perfect for the job. They all lived happily ever after.



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DemoDThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:01 am
I agree, this story was pretty bad. But maybe next time you can do better... But in fair share I think it was bad and you could do better.
 
DemoDThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:10 am
No offence or any meaning to hurt ur feelings I tell my opinion my true words too... Compleetly pointless and a waste of time. I just re read it and I don't understand it still. And I think you wasted away. This was a confusing waste away. Sorry but many others also thought it was bad.   Maybe next time you can write something better? Maybe re-weite this story and put more depth into it and have more feeling in it... It would sound much better if you re-wrote it... (more »)
 
Starstruck_001This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 6, 2013 at 10:26 am
I'm really sorry for being a Simon Cowell on this, but to my honest opinion; this was really bad--no offence. But like what they said before, you cant just type up something random like this and expect it to be on the front page of the magazine or something. You need to develop your style, and make your writing look like you took effort on it. Other then that, I seriously think you should edit this thoroughly. Sorry about it...........but its the truth 
 
WannaBeWriter3 said...
Jul. 5, 2013 at 11:38 pm
what.... how did this get up here, no offence but this was bad
 
CherryPie said...
Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:59 am
I'm sorry but your story is meaningless
 
LinkinPark12 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 6, 2013 at 7:46 am
I don't really get it... No offence... It's a bit confusing..
 
BellaCharlie said...
Nov. 23, 2012 at 6:20 pm
I didn't really understand what the point of the story was. If you developed the plot a bit more and included some more details, I'm sure it would be a great story.
 
RandiRose said...
Aug. 27, 2012 at 6:47 pm
I wrote a modern fairytale with lots of details called "Skylar West and the Seven Runaways" check it out and tell me what you think!!!!
 
J1029This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 31, 2012 at 11:38 am
I didn't like it at all, pointless, and stupid. Try more details and a writing class.
 
ZairaFire said...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 9:17 pm
I didn't really like the characters and the story seemed pointless. I think the plot would be interesting if you added more words and more feedback to what happened.
 
Epiclyawesome said...
Sept. 10, 2011 at 11:48 pm
I'm sorry, but this makes me think that it was writen by a 2nd grader. I don't know if you were just writing junk or something, but I really think that if your going to post a story, it should look like it took more that 5 minutes to write. Also, you have a few spelling errors. I know I'm being harsh, but someone has to say it. Sorry.
 
RandiRose replied...
Aug. 27, 2012 at 6:48 pm
I agree, good concept, but needs way more time and effort.
 
Alon_Freevoice said...
May 23, 2011 at 9:34 pm
i dont know if this is just a... well, are you just bored? the product of your boredom is not good enough.. try adding some detail and... hmmm, pratice..
 
andromeda13 replied...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 8:53 am
yeah it just seems like you got really bored, and wrote something random. .. 
 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 2, 2011 at 9:59 am

hum, sorry but I didn't get it :( 

Don't give up of stop writing tough! It's hard and sometimes it takes a while... read what you wrote, re-write what you're not sure about and fix little things that you don't like. Just because you wrote it doesn't mean that you can't change it over and over. Then, read it again out loud and see if it flows well and finally, you should read it to a friend or family to get a second opinion. 

Best of luck, and keep writing :) 

 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 2, 2011 at 10:00 am
sorry, meant * or stop writing
 
freewriter_123 said...
Dec. 20, 2010 at 10:07 pm
This is definetly more of a poem thatn a story. Im sorry, but no
 
htrae22 said...
Dec. 20, 2010 at 8:53 pm
umm sorry it was cool but i didnt get it
 
DemoDThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:12 am
how could it be cool if you didn't understand it? I'm just asking...
 
Cayte O. said...
Nov. 6, 2010 at 9:40 pm
This, I'm sorry, made no sense. There needs to be details and describing words. Fix it up, shape it into a story, then repost.
 
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