Hate Ron Day: Chapter 2

April 8, 2012
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Chapter two: Reasoning: Flawed, and repaired.

Ron's P.O.V.

It took all the strength I had to push Hermione's hand away. The way that she said my name just made me want to break down right then and there, but I couldn't, I had to stay strong. I had made a promise to myself, when I was away at shell cottage, that I would never let Hermione see me cry. I prayed that she had not seen the tear running down my cheek, and I could not stand her eyes; the way they pierced my soul made me think of my guilt all over again. Fred. It was the reason I could not bare to meet her gaze, because if I hadn't left, than Harry would have found the sword sooner and we could have stopped it all before it had reached the castle.

It was all HIS fault. He could have saved hundreds of lives by deciding to stay when Hermione cried out for him. He could have made sure Fred would have lived his life, and many others, if he had just listened to the tiny voice inside his head when he was leaving, telling that he would come to regret it. He could have saved Hermione all the hurt he had caused when he left, if he had listened to the reasoning that his family would be disappointed with him. He had murdered Fred by leaving, it was as simple as that, and he could not bear to be his brother's murderer.

He didn't take a walk, as he had told Hermione, he had gone straight back up to the common room, and had showered until he was sure that he was a prune. As he wiped away steam front the mirror, he looked at his reflection. Although he was clean, his face was peppered with scars, same with the rest of his body. His eyes had bags under them, and his eyes themselves…were desolate with grief. Their usual bright, playful blue were clouded with guilt and pain. He turned away, not wanting to look at himself anymore, his brother's murderer.

He threw some clothes on, he did not care what they were anymore, it didn't matter. He then sat down and looked out the window of the boy's dormitory, and watched the lake. He was deeply engrossed in brooding, until he saw something move by the lake. He took out his omni-oculars (with a new sound addition that Fred and George had been playing with) and trained them on the figures. It was George and…Hermione. Seeing her brought back all the feeling he had tried to repress but was unsuccessful. Hermione reading, with a content look on her face, concentrating on planning, laughing at his thick-headedness, smiling, looking proud of him…snogging him full on the lips in front of Harry. He sighed and listened in.

What he saw (and heard thanks to Fred and George's addition) made him start crying at his own deeds. He had hurt Hermione…again. She had considered suicide because of him! He threw down the omni-oculars and pulled at his hair. He rocked back and forth, but nothing would get the vision of her crying because of him. He had done it again, although he hadn't meant to. He always did something wrong, he always messed up, he always cost Harry and Hermione something because of his bumbling. He was still there, crying, when Harry and George came back into the boy's dorm. Although George didn't sleep in Harry and Ron's dorm, he came in anyways.

"You git! Do you know what you did to Hermione? She could have helped you, Merlin knows she helped me. I don't know the last time I've laughed that hard. She seems to have gotten better at comforting people since the last time I saw her. However, that is not the point! The point is, you're a prat and if you don't let Hermione help you soon, she may never." Said George, going into a full on rant. Harry just gave me that disappointed look he always gave me when I didn't get the guts up to ask Hermione out in sixth year. I sobbed. "I know, George. It's just that, well I think Fred is dead because of me. If I hadn't left Harry and Hermione, then a lot of people would still be alive." He choked on his own tears, then continued. "It's almost like I killed them."

George and Harry looked down in horror at Ron's statement. "Ron," George said, in a gentler tone. "You did NOT kill those people, they died because they CHOSE to be here, to fight for what they believed in. They died so that we could live, not wallow in guilt! So tomorrow, you are going to go out there, and tell Hermione how you really feel, and no excuses." Ron looked up at them through his tears, then nodded. They went to sleep sometime later, and Ron's thoughts kept straying to Hermione. He didn't get to sleep, so he took a walk.

Hermione's P.O.V.

I woke up panting heavily. I had had the same nightmare yet again. It was the one where Ron was leaving yet again, leaving her. I bit back the tears that threatened to fall, and checked that I had not woken Ginny. She was stirring, but she rolled over and muttered, "Harry.", than went back to sleep. I smiled a little at my friends antics, then went to the window. It was raining, what a surprise. But it wouldn't have seemed right if it was clear, because of my mood. I decided that it would be good if I took a stroll, to clear my head.

When I got outside, it was raining even harder. I stuck out my tongue to taste the rain, and smiled at my child-like behavior. The rain tasted like everything she loved, freshly sharpened quills, new parchment, mown grass and…Ron. I pulled back in my tongue and sobbed. He hated me for complicating our already shaky friendship, if you could even call it that anymore. I took a seat under a tree, but it didn't block out much of the rain, but I liked it like that. I leaned back on the tree and raised my head to look at the stars. "Why me? Why must I always be punished like this?" I sobbed, then buried my head in my hands.

I stayed like that for a while, until I heard someone coming towards me. I looked up, then gasped at the figure. It was Ron, and he was coming straight towards my tree. I started edging around the tree, waiting until he got to one side, so that I could make a run for it. I knew he hadn't seen me, because he hadn't been looking my way. When we were on opposite sides of the tree, I tried to make a run for it. I had only gone a few steps, when he called out, "Do you really hate me that much?"

I sobbed a little guiltily, then joined him, though admittedly rather longer away than usual. "I'm sorry I pushed you away when you tried to help me." He said, not taking his eyes off the lake. I sobbed again, and turned to face him. "I forgive you, as long as you never do it again." I said, feeling my lips twitch with a smile. He choked out a laugh, and continued, "I know I may be pushing it right now, but…can we please resolve what happened in front of the room of requirement? It's been driving me crazy."

I really smiled this time, and he finally turned to look at me. "Well…it depends on what you have to say." I said, making him grin wickedly. He laughed, and his eyes twinkled for the first time in a long time. I felt incredibly proud of myself for being able to make him laugh, even at a time like this. He grew serious again. "Why did you kiss me?" he asked, looking deep into my eyes as though searching my soul. I hoped he saw the love there, it was threatening to out step it's bounds and make me jump him right then and there. "Because I love you, and I didn't know if I'd ever have a chance to kiss you ever again." I said, keeping eye contact.

Ron brightened up like someone had just switched on the lights. He had a very silly grin on that looked as if he had just been hit with a complete memory charm. "Really? Ahem, I mean, I love you two." He said, looking incredibly silly as he did. I giggled a little as he pulled me up next to him. I wasn't very good at snogging, but I would do for now. I felt the smile on his lips too as he brought his lips to mine. We stayed that way for a while, snogging, talking and generally having the times of our lives.

Ron finally convinced me to come back inside after a while. We stood laughing in the doorway, drying off for a while. Ron's full head of hair was particularly wet. "Ahh!" I screamed, as he shook out his mop of hair. It had grown longer in the past months, thanks to a prolonged period away from Mrs. Weasley's brutal haircuts. I giggled as he once again put his arms around me and I tangled my hands in his wet hair. We snogged once more, until we were interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

It was George, Harry and Ginny, what a surprise. They were all grinning like mad at our red faces. George was already rolling on the floor in silent laughter, but Harry and Ginny were trying to put on parental faces. "Now you two, you can't go snogging each other in the rain whenever you want to." Said Ginny, hands on hips and looking like a miniature of Mrs. Weasley. Ron and I were red as a tomato, but we were still in the same pose, with our arms around each other. "Yeah, you can't expect to make that much noise getting up and not get followed." Said Harry, grinning, but playing along. "I personally can't believe that you fell for my fake rolling over in my sleep! It was my worst ever." Said Ginny, chuckling at her own skills.

I raised an eyebrow at her and remembered some rather handy blackmail material. "Oh yeah? And what if I tell your brothers what you mumble in your sleep, eh?" I asked, reveling in her shocked expression. Ron suddenly looked very serious and pushed me to arms length. "Tell me Hermione, this is a matter of utmost importance." He said, looking me in the eyes to make sure I understood. I was trying, but not succeeding, to hold back a smile. "Well…it might be something about a certain Chosen One." I said, letting my eyes travel to see Harry and Ginny's embarrassed faces.

"Right, you two, you can't talk, unless you want me reporting to mum about all this." He said, jumping on his chance of blackmail. "Yeah, and what are they going to say when they hear about you and Hermione's little excursion?" asked Ginny, getting her game on. Ron had lifted a finger, and was about to when I burst out laughing. He looked at me, surprised, with his mouth still open, as though to start reprimanding me for laughing about this very "serious" matter. This only made me laugh harder, and soon Harry and Ginny joined in. Ron rolled his eyes, looking at all of us rolling around on the floor.

"Okay, okay," said George, finally getting up. "We really need to get back to the common room before Filch gets us." He laughed, than said, "I actually wonder whether he would punish us or not." Nonetheless, we hurried back to the Gryffindoor common room and warmed ourselves by the fire. We fell asleep there, Ron's arm around me and Harry's around Ginny. George was splayed across a couch, but he didn't care that he was the only one without a partner. I couldn't remember ever being happier, with Ron by my side and my friends around me.

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