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Hate Ron Day: Chapter 1
Chapter 1: Tears, mourning and depressed frustration.
Immediately after we left Dumbledore's - sorry- McGonagal's office, Harry left to find Ginny. Ron had apparently given his consent when he nodded solemnly at Harry, but I didn't understand how they could communicate so much with just a single nod. So, now Ron and I were alone, just walking aimlessly around the corridors. We had gone a ways when Ron suddenly let a single tear trail down the side of his face. I took a step towards him and said, "Ron," but he shrugged off my hand and mumbled something about a walk and quickly left.
I felt as though someone had just taken a dull knife and had stabbed me in my heart, and were now twisting it in, cruelly laughing at my pain. Hot tears made their way down my face, and I turned heel and fled to the place where I usually went to get away, the library. It was somewhat battered, but most of it was still intact, so I settled in to one of the chairs and cracked open a large tome about Ancient Runes. After a few minutes, I shifted my position, then again, but could not seem to concentrate.
I huffed in frustration, and left my sanctuary. I had been walking aimlessly for a while, when I stopped in front of the room of requirement. I paused for a moment, than thought: I need somewhere to cope. A door appeared and, wand bared defensively in my hand, I opened the door, hesitating only slightly. Inside, was the room in which we had held the D.A., only with a few overstuffed chairs in front of a merrily glowing fireplace, no Fiendfire to be seen.
I threw myself into one of the chairs and began to sob hopelessly. It was supposed to be better when they killed Voldemort, not worse. Now, so many were dead, and some still missing. Voldemort had gone, but at a very high price. Ron didn't want to be near me and, most likely, felt only feelings of friendship towards me, but not anymore. We will probably become so awkward that we can't not talk to each other much anymore.
This new revelation caused me to brake into more sobs, wracking my already exhausted body with pain. Suddenly, the door opened, and a tall red-head entered. Through my tears, I thought it was Ron, but as the figure stepped closer, she now noticed that it was George. She hastily wiped her eyes, and said, "Sorry, I was just-" "Mourning, I know. Or else it was something my git for a brother said or did to you." Said George, cracking wet smile. I smiled weakly through my tears, and said. "Both." I than let out a sob, though I hurriedly wiped my tears away. "Sorry, my suffering is so little compared to everyone else's."
George nodded, and said, "Want to take a walk by the lake? Fred and I always found it very calming, though for some reason we preferred pranking." I laughed for real this time, and felt great respect for George's ability to make jokes, even when his twin had just…died. I nodded, and set about wiping my tears again. "You know, you don't have to wipe your tears away, I'm crying just as much, and I'm not doing a bloody thing about it!" he said, as we left the room of requirement and strode down the hall. He barked out a laugh, and said, "Merlin, I'm getting just as bad as Ron!"
At the mention of his name, I flinched like I and just been punched, and all my memories came flooding back. Ron snogging Lavender, fighting with me, insulting Victor and me, him leaving, even though I called his name for what seemed weeks and him turning his back on me just now. I sobbed as I shook out the horrible visions of the past, and my fears of what the future might become. "Hermione, I'm sorry, I forgot! Merlin, whatever he's done to you must have been really bad! Maybe I should tell Ginny, she'd beat him up." He said, in horror of his actions. I let out a very watery laugh.
"Want to talk about it?" he asked, understandingly. I let out a sigh, but nodded. "I snogged him full on the mouth during the war." I said, remembering what had been the best moment of my life so far (George made a comment that sounded and awful lot like 'finally'). "Then when everything was over and Harry had left to find Ginny, we were walking around. Than I noticed that he had started crying, and tried to comfort him, but… he…just mumbled something about taking a walk and…left, again." I said, trailing off every so often trying to keep my composure.
"There, there, Hermione. Don't take it to heart; he's always been a heartless prat! Even before Fred and I scarred him for life." He said, patting me on the back with a half-smile. I let out a mangled laugh that quickly turned into a sob. I took a sudden interest in the black water in the lake. "It'd be easy, wouldn't it? To just hop in there with some heavy rocks in your pockets and just let go." I said, looking almost longingly at the water. If I couldn't have true love, than what was the use of living?
"No, Hermione! Stop thinking those suicidal thoughts. Fred and the others died so that we could live, even if it isn't worth living, really." Said George, taking me by the shoulders and shaking me a bit. I suddenly felt very guilty indeed. "I know, or I should. I'm sorry, George, I don't know what got into me. I'm a mess, I used to be independent, now look at me!" I said, gesturing to my tear-stained face. I let out a small laugh, and said, "Or rather don't, I look hideous. Stupid Ron." George let out a roar of laughter and clapped me on the back. "Now that's the spirit! Everybody get on your propaganda, because it's hate Ron day!" he said, chortling out the last part.
I started laughing too. Soon we were laughing and rolling around on the ground. We sat up and looked across the lake, and cried while we giggled a bit. "Thanks, I needed that." I said. " No problem. So," said George, acting serious again. "did Ron ask you out, or what? Or, come to think of it, did you? You seem like the more obvious candidate because you made the first move in the first place." I laughed a bit at that one, but sobered up in record time. "No, he hasn't. I tried to, but…as we know that ended badly as well." I said, and promptly broke out sobbing again.
"Sorry." Said George, than laughed unexpectedly. "Merlin! Irony much? I've hated the word 'sorry' so much today, and yet I still use it. There just doesn't seem to be any other word for it, does there?" I chuckled too. "Yeah, I know what you mean. But thanks though, it helps to know SOMEONE cares." I said, thinking of Ron when I said it.
"Sorry," I said, trying to mollify the shocked expression on George's face. "it's just that every time I think about him it's like someone is adding to my large collection of scars. I think I have more than Harry even, because I still haven't completely healed from Bellatix's cruciatus curse." I said, examining my scarred limbs. "Nah, I had a nasty run-in with McNair, I had Setucempra used on me." Said George, and we commenced a contest about who had the most scars. I won, and after a while, George said, "How did it feel when he turned away the second time? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I'm just curious."
"It was like watching everything that you love, and have fought for with your life scorn you. It was horrible to realize that unrequited love would always be my path. That I would grow old alone, watching him from the outside and knowing that it could never be." I said, than started to cry uncontrollably. Suddenly, Harry and Ginny came bursting out of the bushes. "That's it! I can't stand it anymore, where is he? I'm going to tear him limb from limb when I get my hands on him!" Ginny shouted loudly, while wearing an expression of rage that rivaled that of Mrs. Weasley when Bellatrix had cast the killing curse at Ginny.
I was surprised for a moment that they'd been there all the time, but tried to calm her down. "Don't worry Ginny, it's not a crime to not like me in that way. Besides, he's mourning his brother." I said, trying to hide my tears. "HE'S MY TWIN AND I'M NOT ACTING LIKE A COMPLETE *RSE! STOP STANDING UP FOR HIM HERMIONE, HE'LL JUST HURT YOU MORE!" roared George, finally at a breaking point. "That's just the thing, I never will be able to stop. I'm sorry, Merlin knows I am, but I just can't. It's not like I haven't tried! I tried every bloody day he was gone, but I just can't. I can't." I repeated, looking out over the surface of the lake.
Harry, Ginny and George looked very guilty, that I could see out of the corner of my eye. "I'm sorry, Hermione, I didn't mean it like that." Said George, looking horrified at his words. "Don't worry George, I said the wrong things too, and you're not blowing up over it." I said, sighing as I saw an owl dip it's claw into the lake on it's flight. Harry and Ginny took seats next to George and me. "So, are you two back together?" I asked, looking at their intertwined hands.
Ginny beamed, and Harry said, "Yeah, lucky for me too, if we hadn't I don't know what I'd have done." George snorted, and said, "Just make sure you don't go snogging in front of Ron." "I'm not sure I really care what Ron's feelings are towards that particular matter. He seems to have canceled out his vote by being an absolute prat in all ways." Said Ginny, scowling. "He is my best mate, but he just screwed up the best comfort he could ever have." Said Harry, now voicing his opinion on the matter.
I blushed, and said, "Not to be rude, but can we just change the subject?" They all looked guilty again, and I rolled my eyes. "If I've handled everything else he can dish out, I think I can handle this." We talked until sunset, and then walked back to the castle. I didn't see Ron for the rest of the day, and I was glad of it. When Ginny and I got back to the Girl's dormitory, I had a long shower, and settled down in my old bed, which I was sharing with Ginny due to the influx of people to accommodate.
"Are you going to give him another chance?" asked Ginny. I knew what she meant immediately. "One, but that's it. I don't know if I can handle it another time if he lets me down. I want to get over him, but I probably won't ever be able to say no to him, although I can try." I said, smiling sadly with nothing but hopelessness in my eyes. Ginny saw this, and comforted me. She told me stories to cheer me up, although I think that they were cheering her up as well. I fell asleep with a half-smile on my face; she had done her job well.