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Let Me Love You *Cameron Quiseng of Allstar Weekend*
“Hey Cam! Can I borrow you’re white snapback? None of mine match my outfit.” She hollered as she came out of the bathroom. My head snapped up. Da**, she was gorgeous. She always was.
“Uh, yeah, what for?” I asked as I continued to strum my guitar.
“Mike’s taking me out for lunch! Isn’t that ni-”
“He’s what?” I asked, jealousy and concern floating in my voice. She crawled out of my bunk and plopped next to me on the couch. She did look good in my hats. She would look good in anything. She was beautiful, smart, funny, talented, and just someone everyone liked. Especially me.
“Mikey’s taking me out for lunch! Its gonna be so much fun!” She said excitedly. Another thing that made her so da** irresistible; she was just a little naive and childish. She could act like the seventeen-year-old she was, or the little six-year-old girl inside of her. Maybe it helped she was bipolar, maybe not. But regardless, I liked her.
“Wow, that sounds fun; why’s he taking you out?”
“I dunno, maybe he likes me! Ha, yeah right. Anyway, thanks for letting me borrow your hat, I promise I won’t get it dirty!” She sighed quickly as she kissed my cheek and went out the door of the tour bus. I opened my mouth to call after her, to tell her to stay here with me, but thought better of it. She knew I liked, no, loved her. She knew because I told her. It didn’t mean anything though; the law kept us apart. I’m twenty-one; she’s seventeen. If I was to ever date her; it’d be illegal.
“I just don’t wanna get you in trouble, Cameron. You know we can’t be together.” She had said. I was upset for days. Seeing her around everyday made me want to die inside. She was everything I wanted, and I couldn’t have her. I hung out with Zach and Dillon for the day, but things just weren’t alright with me. Mike knew I loved her, and he was younger than me. I shook it off; what were the odds they were actually going out?
“Oh my god, I had THE BEST time!....” I heard her say as the bus door closed. I quietly grabbed my phone from under my pillow and checked the time.
“12:07?!” I whispered. It had been twelve hours since they’d left. My heart started to race and anger wrapped around my brain. They were out on a date. You can’t just go out for lunch and come back at midnight.
“I had fun too! Remember when-”
“HEY guys!” I said sarcastically, getting out of my bunk. Micheal shot me a glare.
“Uhm, hi Cam! I totally thought you’d be asleep...” She muttered awkwardly.
“Yeah no, I was listening to my iPod. Y’all are home a little late, aren’t you?” I interrogated. She shook her head.
“Its not that late, we were just out.” She replied sharply. The look in her eyes said ‘seriously, f*** off.’ But I couldn’t.
“I just think its a little late to be out, that’s all.”
“Well its not.” She said, eyeing me and ending the conversation.
“I’m gonna head to bed, night guys.” Micheal said as he kissed her cheek and walked past me. She glared at me.
“You know what! What the he** is wrong with you?” She said, clearly hurt. My heard shriveled into nothing. I hated it when she was upset. “Look, I’m sorry, but did you have to go all ‘super protective big brother’ on us? You know Mike, he’s your friend! Why are you acting so strangely, Cameron?” She asked as she sat on the couch. Regret coursed through me. Of course Mikey wouldn’t ever try something on her.
“I’m- I’m sorry.” I whimpered helplessly as I sat next to her. She collapsed into my chest the way she did when she wanted to be close to me.
“I just want to be the only one who takes you out...” I whispered as I kissed her head. She sighed.
“But you can’t. Why can’t you accept it?” She said quietly. I sighed. This was depressing me.
“I can’t accept it because I love you. I love you more than anything.” I said quietly.
“You know I love you too. You know that. But costing you all of this,” She paused. “I wouldn’t be able to live like that.”
“I don’t care, I just wanna be with you. You’re all I care about.” I pleaded as I picked her head up and looked into her eyes.
“No I’m not. You care more about the guys, the fans, Allstar. I’m not letting you give everything up to be with me. I’m seventeen, Cam. I don’t want you sitting around for a year waiting.”
“But I have to!”
“NO YOU DON’T!” She yelled. I sat, unfazed. She yelled at me occasionally. Always about this.
“This talk is over. No. No Cam, No.”
“Hey Cam, you okay? You seem a little...distant.” Zach asked as he hooked up his microphone.
My eyes snapped out of their gaze. I was staring at her. Again.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Really? ‘Cuz you were just staring at Lorraine over there like you were her dog or something.” He replied as he stretched. “I get it though...she’s one hot piece of-”
“WOULD YOU PLEASE, just get the f*** outta here?” I said, almost laughing. Lorraine walked over to me.
“You nervous? This is a pretty big show. I’m almost scared.” She said. Oh her body...Wardrobe definitely knew how to dress her.
“Don’t be! You’re really talented, Lorraine. You’ll look fantastic out there. You always do.” I concluded. She breathed quietly as she pressed her forehead to mine. My breath hitched. Her touch sent fire into my lungs and electricity to my toes.
“Thanks.” She said simply before kissing my nose and walking off to talk to Zach. Why? Why did she have to set me off? Why did she have to make me fall for her? Why can’t I stop loving her? We went out on stage and played. (Note: Okay, This song is called Do It 2 Me by Allstar, CHECK IT OUT!) Lorraine came out and Her and Zach started singing, like we rehearsed:
Zach: I can feel you’re heartbeat as we intertwine, like the beat of a million drums marching in line. Everything is spinin’ just in perfect time. Yeah the music is finally comin’ alive. The way you’re hair just dances through the breeze, and the place you’re going’s where I wanna be-e-e. And I know without cha I’d be incomplete; I want it, I need it, I’m beggin’ you please. You do it, you do it, you do it to me....
I rolled my eyes to myself as I strummed the bass to the beat. Every song on the album basically reverted back to Lorraine; why? I don’t f***ing know, but seriously; she was driving me insane.
Lorraine(you): You can feel me tossin’ and turnin’, tell me I’ll be alright. And the flame from a million sparks has to ignite. And the world of a boy and a girl starts to collide; Yeah the fire is finally burnin’ tonight. I like it when you screamin’ woah! (woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) Backseat you’re pinnin’ me down(Oh-oh-oh-oh). I can feel you’re eyes, and they undressin’ me. I want it, I need it, I’m beggin you please; you do it, you do it, you do it to me.
Blah Blah Blah, song’s over, show’s over; We all say or thank yous and get off the stage!
“SO MUCH FUN!” Lorraine said excitedly. The way her eyes sparkled when she was happy made my heart swoon.
“Yeah! Guys, I got Modern Warfare yesterday, wanna go back to the room and play while everyone cleans up?” Mikey offered. Of course I wanted to go, MW3 was supposed to be the best video game ever. Lorraine smiled half-heartedly and turned to the direction of her own dressing room. Sometimes she did feel left out.
“Uhm, yeah; gonna have to pass on that guys,-”
“Why? Gonna go stare at Lorraine some more?” Zach joked. I playfully hit him in the gut and sent them off. I knocked on Lorraine’s door.
“Who’s there?” She said quietly.
“Cam...” I said, shuffling my feet. A few moments later, the door flew open. I couldn’t even get a word in before her lips forcefully pressed onto mine. I stood there for a moment, trying to gather everything that was happening. She was kissing me? The same girl who was yelling at me last night to back off, to leave her alone, to not be in love with her? Instinctively I walked inside the dressing room and slammed the door shut. I backed her up all the up to the couch and she fell back onto it. Her kisses were hot and heavy, yet slow and sweet. I’d always fantasized about what her lips would be like on me, and now I could put those images with this one. I spread my lips as her tongue slipped inside my mouth. An embarrassingly loud moan left me, and Lorraine couldn’t help but smile. She locked her legs around my waist and pulled me down on top of her. Lorraine pulled away suddenly; her lips still impossibly close to me.
“Why do you love me, Cameron?” She breathed quietly; her tongue reaching out and licking my lips. I shivered involuntarily and closed my eyes. “Tell me.” She demanded.
“I love you because you’re pretty, and smart, and talented,-” I began. I stopped myself to regain my composure.
“...And?” She said as her hands skillfully undid the first button of my shirt.
“Oh my god just take it off...” I moaned.
“Why do you love me. Answer me, Cam. Now.” She said forcefully. The look in her eyes both scared me and turned me on.
“And I love you because you make me a better man. I love you because you both make me wanna kill you and make me wanna just throw you down and make love to you. I love you because you push me away, but you know you need me. I love you because you love me too.” I said finally. She lied under me, processing the words.
“Get off.” She said. I looked at her bewildered. “GET OFF” She repeated. I slowly backed away from her and she stood up. “What was I thinking?” She muttered as she went over to the dresser. She looked confused, desperate, stressed. I went behind her and tried to hold her. She swatted my hands away and turned around. “GO AWAY!” She screamed. She could yell at me all she wanted; I wasn’t going to leave. She pushed me with all the strength she had, barely moving me. “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST GO AWAY!” She yelled again, painfully hitting me on the chest. I grabbed her wrists and backed her up into a wall. The tears in her eyes broke me. “Why can’t I stop loving you...” She whispered as she broke into tears. My expression softened.
“Baby girl, you can’t stop loving me ‘cuz you don’t want to...” I said. She looked up at me. “Let me be with you, Lorraine. Let me take care of you. Let me make you happy. Let me love you.” I sighed. This was the final attempt. If she didn’t want me now, I’d somehow try to move on. Her eyes tore into mine; searching for the warmth and love she’d been looking for.
“I love you, Cameron...I love you so much.” She said weakly. I slowly pressed my lips closer and closer until I closed the gap between us. Her moan vibrated in my mouth as I licked her tongue. She tangled her dainty fingers in my hair. “Cam...” She groaned sensually. If anyone found out about us, we’d be dead. I’d go to jail, and she would be hopeless.
“Hey Guys! Time to get back on the bus!” We heard Dillon call out.
“You ready to go, beautiful?” I asked as I intertwined our fingers. She smiled and nodded, and at that moment, I knew, whether we were undercover or not; we’d always love each other, no matter what.<3