Criminal Case: 2185 Mr. W. Vs. Mr. P.

March 15, 2011
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Have you ever been convicted of something you never did? When all possible facts point to you? When everyone seems bent on accusing you? My client is dealing with this right now in County Court. All seems against him. His name is Mr. Wolf and he’s being accused of eating 2 little pigs.

When people think of the Three Little Pigs, they think of straw, stick, and brick houses. However, consider this . . . those straw and stick houses of the first pigs . . . wouldn’t they be out of building code? A house of straw or sticks couldn’t have passed building code, so that means it would be deemed unsafe against rain and, hmmm, wind. So the first two pigs are responsible for any injuries sustained against them from their buildings collapsing.

Furthermore, there were no remains found. There were no remnants of the pigs, and even if Mr. Wolf ate them, the skull would be left, and there were no skulls to be found. Oh, by the way, Mr. Wolf was never searched by an endocrinologist for pork flesh. If the court really cared, they would have gone through the trouble to hire a professional. Sounds like the court doesn’t care for the Three Little Pigs!

Also, Mr. Wolf was falsely represented. The Daily Wolf refers to my client as “The Big, Bad Wolf.” Not only that, but they do not tell his story in the article, so thus the presence of sensationalism. Along with the fact that no authorities or witnesses were quoted. If no witnesses were present then there really was no crime to be told!

As you can see, Mr. Wolf is completely innocent. Reason #1: He’s not responsible for the houses. Reason #2: No proof of the other pigs being eaten. Reason #3: No witnesses were quoted by Daily Wolf. Daily Wolf also committed sensationalism by not quoting Alexander Wolf. The case regarding Daily Wolf and Mr. Wolf, will take place Tuesday afternoon, and his lawyer will be there.





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