Harry's Own House

February 24, 2011
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“Late to class, Mr. Potter? The Golden Boy can’t be bothered to be prompt? Oh, so you have an excuse. Shut your mouth, boy. We’re not all eager to kiss your feet and worship the ground you walk on, nor are we jumping at the chance to listen to every bit of drivel that you spout from your mouth. Take your seat and 10 points from Gryffindor,” Snape was being his normal cheerful self.

“PMS, Professor?” Harry Potter asked, with an innocent look on his face.

Snape whirled around to face the boy, “What did you just utter, Potter?” he demanded, his voice sounding frosty and ominous.

“I asked if you were PMS-ing, sir,” Harry replied. Seeing his professor open his mouth to take points, he quickly continued with, “Just wondering why you’re so cranky all of a sudden. No need to take points for my concern.”

Snape glared at him and said, “20 points from-” he got interrupted by Harry.

“Did I mention how I got Professor Dumbledore to give me my own house for you to take points from?” the young Gryffindor mentioned.

The Potions Professor’s eyes widened. He stomped over and grabbed Harry, marched down to the Headmaster’s office, and barged in with, “This boy claims that you made a house just for him, so that I can take points from it!”

“Harry speaks the truth, my boy.” Dumbledore’s eyes couldn’t have twinkled any more than it did that day.

“Professor, you could’ve just asked me whether or not I was telling the truth,” Harry spoke up, with a smile on his face.

Snape glared at the boy. “Shut your mouth, boy. You’re already in enough trouble as it is.”

“Why am I in trouble? Professor Dumbledore already said I was telling the truth!” Harry cried, indignantly.

The professor ignored him in favor of addressing Dumbledore, “Care to explain your latest act of madness?”

“It is simple, Severus. As your love for taking points has escalated, Professor McGonagall has asked me to do something about it. It really isn’t doing any harm; Harry’s house isn’t eligible for neither Sorting nor the House Cup. But, every time you take points from Gryffindor because of Harry, the points will be deducted from Harry’s house, unless he really deserves it,” Dumbledore explained with a smile.

“So Professor, as you can see, there is no problem here. Can we go now?” Harry asked, bored.

“Just like your father, taking special treatment like you deserve it,” Snape growled.

“You know, you are the only person I’ve met who ever referred to parents in a negative way. People usually go ‘Oh, you’re just like your father when he was your age’ or ‘you’re just like your mother,’ but not you, nope. It’s always, ‘you’re like your father, with your arrogant attitude’ and blah blah blah,” Harry retorted with an amused look on his face.

Snape glared, “I say only what is true and what you deserve.”

“Then shall I say what is true and what you deserve?” Harry asked, “You need to start washing your hair.”

“5 points from Gryffindor!” Snape roared.

“I’m sorry, Harry. But you did deserve that deduction of points.” Dumbledore remarked.

“Aw, blast it!” Harry muttered.

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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

msoledadvc said...
Nov. 17, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Good! I'm still laughing!! Keep writing!! You are the humor master!
Ambrose said...
Sept. 2, 2011 at 3:43 pm
I litterary just laughed out loud!(: this is halairious!! hahahaa usually fan fic of harry potter is weird like pairing the weirdest couples ever but this is greattt keep it up!
LilyPotter said...
May 12, 2011 at 12:07 pm
This is awesome. Please write more!
EliBurrows said...
Mar. 24, 2011 at 8:03 pm
absoulutly love it
StonahSal said...
Mar. 4, 2011 at 8:55 am
:) I love it
Emiline! ^-^ said...
Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:57 pm
I liked the part where Dumbledore calmly explains how Harry now has his own House. He sounded really in-character, and I already think that Harry's kinda a headmaster's pet, so I cracked up. Good! :)
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