Twilight at the grocery store

January 14, 2011
It’s 2:28 AM. I stand there, seemingly the only patron in the store, staring at the ice cream. Which one do I really want today? Classic chocolate? Or maybe some cookie dough? Or, if I’m feeling really adventurous, some Moose Tracks with caramel pieces, perhaps? When, suddenly the sounds of a struggle ring throughout the store. My heart pounding, I run towards the noise, the ice cream debacle completely and totally forgotten. I get to the toiletries aisle, and my mouth drops to the floor. Instant recognition could not have described how fast I realized who was standing in the middle of the aisle. My favorite vampires of all time, in my store, standing in my aisle, fighting over… something…I can’t quite see from this angle. Maybe if I get a little closer… “Hey! Give me that!” A large, huge, very bear-like man exclaims. “No! I’m putting it back. Nobody even likes that kind,” the smaller man with a slightly pained expression replied. “So? It’s not like we’re ever going to use it.” The sound of crumbling shelves shortly follows as Emmett shoves his way through Jasper to get to the small tube held in his hand. “Now look what you did, you great oaf!” Jasper says while trying to shove the significantly larger man off him. “Just give me the damn toothpaste!” Gently clenched in Jasper’s hand was the very last tube of Crest brand Dora the Explorer mixed berry toothpaste that had Boots on it. “If we’re not going to use it, why does it matter what kind we get!” Jasper crawls out from underneath Emmett’s outstretched arm, turns and runs in the opposite direction, straight towards me. Wide-eyed, I side-step around where he would have barreled into me. Barely a millisecond before we would have crashed, Emmett tackles him, toppling the shelves on the other side of the aisle. Jasper rakes his fingers across Emmett’s back in attempts to claw his way out from underneath his brother again. Emmett howls in mock pain, rolling off Jasper onto his feet. Jasper, suddenly freed, throws the toothpaste in my direction and dives for the larger mans feet, in hopes to entangle and trip him I think. Emmett jumps, reaching for the glittering tube halfway to my outstretched hands. As I grasp the toothpaste, Emmett lands less than a foot from me, his icy hand gently touching mine. “Please,” he whispered, his liquid topaz eyes gazing almost adoringly into my plain brown ones, “would you be so kind as to hand me that toothpaste?” He raises his unoccupied hand to caress my cheek. Behind him, I’m vaguely aware that Jasper has risen and is advances towards us again. But I don’t care. Then, as if given some instinctual signal, both men turn behind them. “STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!” Esme yells. And then everything goes black. Waking up a few hours later, I was told that I had indeed fainted. And, being the only one in the store at the time, or so everybody thought, I was charged with a $1500.00 bill to pay for the destroyed aisle. But it was totally worth it. I never did get that ice cream, now that I think about it…

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This article has 7 comments. Post your own now!

forever_writing said...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 8:37 pm
xX_so-confused_Xx said...
Jan. 25, 2011 at 2:36 pm

The assignment was to write a story about something that would (or wouldn't) happen at a grocery store, and my teacher was a little (like waaayy) obsessed with twilight, and it was the most absurd thing i could think of :)

oh VampireX? you suck :p

KonLovesPB said...
Jan. 22, 2011 at 10:10 am
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I loved the part about the Dora the Explorer toothpaste (:
VampireX said...
Jan. 21, 2011 at 7:43 am
I would have left u the bill 2. :)
Medina D. said...
Jan. 19, 2011 at 3:11 pm
when i read the dora the explorer toothpaste part i thought if thats an assignment, its getting an A!! haha XD
Lil_Miss_Emmett_Cullen said...
Jan. 18, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Oh...My...GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!! so hilarious!! :):):)
mysteryheart said...
Jan. 18, 2011 at 1:30 pm
OMG I laughed sooooooohard L:OLOLOLOLOLOLOKL
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