He couldn't move. He couldn't eat, breathe, or speak. All he could do was drift in and out of consciousness. And cry. He had been doing a lot of crying lately, staying shut up in his room, away from everything and everyone. He hated how weak and vulnerable he was. His economy was collapsing, his people were suffering, and he could barely move to do something about it. He was so close to breaking.

Sometimes he wished he hadn't shut himself off from the rest of the world, or at least the one he loved the most. He clutched his chest at the thought of him. He must have been in so much pain, so upset that he tried keeping this depression from him and going through this pain alone. So all he could do was drift back into a pained and troubled sleep, control his heart and tears and try not to think about his beloved with the beautiful green eyes.

--

Arthur was very upset. There was something wrong with his best friend. No one had seen him in years. Even Kiku hadn't heard anything beyond "Oh, silly. It's nothing. Just a bit of economical problems, but nothing I can't handle, because I'm the hero!" Arthur couldn't stand his thirst for independence, his need to rise to the top. His agonizing obsession with being the hero. There were so many thoughts bouncing around his head, but the one that stood out the most was asking why. Why? Why was he being blocked out? What was going on?

--

He could remember. He could remember his history all too clearly. It flicked behind his closed eyelids, forcing him into a moment of reflection. His beautiful Arthur had forgiven him for breaking away; demanding to grow up. And what's more, loved him the way Alfred wanted. The way he needed. He groaned as more images appeared. Too painful, he thought.

--

He couldn't believe it. As he held him close, he couldn't stop the image of Alfred's condition from burning into his mind. He looked so broken, with tear stains mussing his otherwise perfect face and glasses discarded somewhere in the room. He scolded himself for not being there sooner, not worrying enough to visit. I could have prevented this, he thought.

--

Alfred awoke to the familiar feeling of someone's arms being wrapped around his waist. His heart bubbled over when he saw the face of Arthur, watching him, his green eyes probing deep into his own.

"You lied to Kiku." Arthur whispered through the darkness.

"Why are you here?" Alfred couldn't help but ask.

"Because my most important person is suffering." Arthur kissed him lightly on the lips, lingering a bit before whispering into his ear. "And I miss the sparkle in your eyes." Alfred suddenly felt a wave of nausea. He knew he should never have kept this a secret. Here was his Arthur, forgiving him again, and helping him in ways Alfred knew could never be repaid. He closed his eyes and silently cursed the tears that trailed down his cheeks.

"Stay with me?" He whispered, relishing the steady heartbeat of his best friend; his beloved.

"Always."