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As Edward drove us home, I sat quietly in the seat next to him. In the car behind us, Jacob and the daughter Edward nor I ever dreamed of having; Renesmee matched our frightening speed.
Ever since I became a vampire, I was trying to perfect my human charade. It was 7 years after I became a member of the immortal world, and I could finally handle being around humans for awhile with out tempted by the thirst that arose in my throat. Control was something that I was surprisingly good at. This new life, being a vampire, it seemed as if I was born for it.
As I got myself back into reality, I noticed the familiar drive. When we arrived at the house, Edward opened his door and walked at a vampire speed, over to the passenger side of his Volvo, to get the door for me. As he took my hand, my head was spinning. Instantly I could feel his smooth, hard lips crushing onto mine. Our lips moved in synchronizing movements, and I found myself taking rough breaths, only out of habit. This was a kiss that would have crossed the line when I was human. I heard a husky throat clear, obviously Jacobs, and I pulled away unwillingly from Edward’s lips with an embarrassed smile on my face. If I could blush in this new body, my cheeks would have been rosy red.
I turned to Jacob and Renesmee and noticed them holding hands. I was still shocked by how old Renesmee resembled, only being a little over 7 years old. Her growing had slowly come to a stop. She was beautiful. I was glad that Jacob had imprinted on her, no need to worry about her safety, even though she was stronger and less breakable then the strongest human in the world. Jacob also deserved someone that could love him and be with him forever. He’d earned that after the many times I had hurt him, and my one gift for him was my only daughter.
The four of us walked silently into the big house. We found Emmett and Rosalie sitting on the couch watching a football game. Emmett flashed us a welcoming grin, showing all his teeth. I returned his smile with one of my own and turned to face Edward. Edward looked dazzlingly handsome like always. I still hadn’t gotten used to the fact that he was mine and I was his.
“Welcome home Mrs. Cullen.” Edward said in a beautiful voice that caused me to loose me train of thought. I was never going to get used to it.
“As the same to you, Mr. Cullen.” I said sheepishly. I couldn’t stop staring at his eyes. We had just returned home from a hunting trip in Canada and his eyes where a golden honey liquid color. His face was so close to mine I couldn’t stop myself from going onto my tippy toes and giving him a small kiss on the cheek.
When I pulled away to see where Jacob and Renesmee had run off to, Edward sincerely said “I love you.”
“I love you more.” I pressed.
“I think not.” As he said it, I heard a crash in the kitchen. Edward suddenly grew tense. When I turned to look what happened, Edward was already pulling me along with him to investigate.
It was Jacob. He was lying on the cold, tiled floor with Renesmee standing at his side. “What happened?” a shocked voice said, instantly I realized the words where Alice’s. Alice could see the future, a handy trick that was useful in many ways. But people like Jacob and Renesmee she couldn’t see. Alice can see human’s futures because she was one, she can also see vampires futures because she is one.
I felt Edward stiffen at my side. Emmett and Rosalie had entered the room to see what all the commotion was about. I knew Jasper was there when I felt a sudden mood swing. Everyone grew calm, thanks to Jaspers special gift.
“I don’t know.” Renesmee responded to Alice’s question from earlier in a voice that was both horrified and shocked.
“He fainted.” A voice said that I would die if I ever forgot the sound of.
“What?” Everyone responded at the same time.
“Rosalie, go get a towel, and rinse some cold water over it.” Edward demanded at the same time as he pulled out a small silver cell phone. I could hear the voice on the other end, it was Carlisle.
“Hello?” Carlisle said.
“How soon can you get home?” Edward said in an icy voice. I didn’t feel comfortable when Edward talked to Carlisle like that. It was wrong.
“Is something wrong son?” Carlisle said in a worried tone.
“Yes. Jacob has fainted. Something’s wrong...” His sentence drifted off, he couldn’t finish it.
“Oh! Well we’re on our way home now!” Carlisle said in a horrified voice. I could hear the engine starting up in the background.
Carlisle and Esme were on vacation at Esme’s Island. I’d only been there once, during my human days. Edward took me there for our unforgettable honeymoon. It’s a beautiful place, many bright colors, a warm ocean, and my favorite part: the bed.
“Edward what happened?” I asked as soon as he hung up on Carlisle.
“I don’t know.” As Edward said it, I remembered Jacob had been spending more and more time here, rather then away. Some nights he would even stay and sleep here. Edward and I didn’t like it that much, I mean Jacob and Renesmee were both so young. But we couldn’t take that away from them, because so many nights when I was my human self, Edward would lay in bed with me and watch me sleep. Was something wrong that Jacob couldn’t be around vampires this much?
“Help him!” I’d forgotten that Renesmee was here, being so focused on Edward. What didn’t he know? Edward knew everything. He could hear people’s thoughts, and that helped him grow even more intelligent.
I suddenly became anxious for Carlisle and Esme’s return home. I needed to figure a few things out. What’s wrong with Jacob? I didn’t think I could keep my voice from breaking, so I forced my gift of keeping my mind private away, and let Edward into my head. I wasn’t very good at it. I lost focus easily, usually because Edward would look at me in amazement. He still couldn’t believe I could let him in. During my human days, he always used to ask ‘what are you thinking’. He never imagined being able to hear my ‘voice’. But I was glad he couldn’t hear it, there were so many embarrassing things I would think to myself about that would either upset him or make him laugh. I only used it when necessary.
Immediately Edward whispered “I don’t know, but there’s something wrong with him. Werewolves systems don’t shut down like that.” into my ear so nobody else could know about our little exchange.
Oh no! This was terrible. What if Jake and Renesmee couldn’t hang out anymore? It would break their hearts! Edward and I noticed lately that they were becoming more then best friends. They were soul mates, Jacob had imprinted on her. He would be depressed more then ever if he couldn’t see Renesmee. And how would that leave Renesmee? He’s been there for her before birth! Renesmee would be crushed. I had to figure out a way to make things work.
After Edward and my secret conversation, Rosalie rushed in with the damp yellow towel Edward had requested her to get. Rosalie would do anything for Renesmee. She loved her so much. I remembered a night when Edward was out hunting back when I was still human and she explained to me why she wished I wouldn’t become a vampire. She still today says they same thing. That night, when I was still human, she said to me: ‘I would give up everything to be human again, grow old with a husband, grandchildren surrounding us.’ Rosalie wanted a baby so badly but could never have one. Once a vampire, your body no longer could change, not allowing a woman to bare a child. She was eager to help me during my pregnancy with Renesmee, and after she was born. Anything that made Renesmee happy, Rosalie would do, even if it meant caring for Jacob, who she absolutely loathed.
Rosalie put the damp towel on Jacob’s forehead, while Renesmee was kneeling at his side whispering into his ear, “Jake? Jacob, wake up! Can you hear me?” Her voice started to crack near the end. It broke my silent heart, and I’m sure it had the same effect on Edward too. “Jacob, I love you! Don’t leave me!” It was the first time I’d ever heard Renesmee say it, and it caught both me and Edward off guard. I knew at that moment that I was going to have to do everything in my will power to make things work out. I wasn’t going to break my daughters little heart!
I pulled Edward out of the kitchen for a brief second. I needed to speak to him alone. “Edward, we can’t let anything happen to Jacob! Did you just hear what Renesmee just said? ‘Jacob, I love you!’ Things are more serious then I thought.” I said it in a rush, horrified.
“I know. He means a lot to her. And after everything he did for me, I owe him so much.” Edward was worried and scared. His voice was sincere.
As we marched back into the kitchen, Edward went and took Rosalie’s place. He carried Jacob up to his old bedroom. No one was living in it at the moment, since we were still using Esme’s present, our little fairytale cottage. As Renesmee and I followed him, Edward gave the others a look warning them not to follow. As they did as he wished, and gave us some privacy, Edward laid Jacob on his black, leather couch in the bedroom. As soon as he set him down, Jacob’s eyes opened wide with fear.
“What just happened?” Jake said in shock.
“You fainted on the kitchen floor. You’ve been out for about four minuets.” Edward looked at him with a concerned face.
“Oh.” Was all Jake managed to say after that.
Renesmee put her hand on Jacobs face, trying to comfort him I assumed. But by the look on Edwards face, she was showing Jake what had just happened while he was out using her talented little gift. I’d seen the things Renesmee had shown me before and they were amazing. I knew when he’d seen everything, his face became sincere and he said “I love you too.” Renesmee blushed spontaneously.
I pulled on Edward’s shoulder hinting we should give them some privacy. Once we were out of the room, I heard Renesmee say “I was so worried Jake, I thought I lost you.”
“No need to worry about me. I’m tough and I won’t leave you. I promise.” His answer was sincere and I knew he meant every word. But something was bugging me. Part of me didn’t want him to love her so much. Renesmee had only been in my life, well existence for 7 years. She was mature and very intelligent fir her age. I wasn’t ready to give her away. Not yet. A normal mother would be worried her daughter wasn’t brushing her teeth or that she would get sick. Normal mothers didn’t worry about their daughters falling in love at 7, worried they’d leave them. I wasn’t ready to let go of her.
“Edward,” I spoke his name in a whisper.
“Yes, love?” I was too embarrassed by my thoughts to look him in the eyes, knowing they’d make me spit out the things I didn’t want to say to him. It was so hard to hide things from him, especially when they about our daughter.
“I’m not ready to loose her.” I knew that as soon as I said it, he understood.
“I know love. I too, am not ready.” When he finished his sentence he kissed the top of my head. When I looked up at him, his face was much closer then I thought.
“What are we going to do?” I mumbled the words but he interrupted before I could say anything else.
“I don’t know, I can’t stand to hurt either of their feelings. Renesmee especially, she means so much to us, after you said you were willing enough to die to let her live, I knew I would never be able to do harm to her. Not that I would ever, I mean, I’m her father! Something I never dreamed of becoming after I joined the immortal.” He said the words and looked like he would have cried if he could. I too would have cried.
We stood in the hall for a long time. It felt like days. It was about an hour we stood there and Edward hugged me tensely. “What is it Edward?” I ask, not knowing what the reason the tight hug was for. He was squeezing me to him, it wasn’t painful but uncomfortable.
“Their talking about when I left you.” He said the words with no emotion in his voice. He was like the burning man.
I never brought up that terrible memory, when he left me for me own good. The only reason we were reunited was when Alice had seen that I’d jumped off a cliff in La Push at Fist Beach. Alice never saw me come up, because she couldn’t see Jake. So she ran back to Forks without telling anyone in her family except Rosalie what shed seen. When she got to Charlie’s she found me alive and was shocked. But Rose had told Edward that I jumped of the cliff in attempt of suicide and killed myself. Edward was furious and ran off to Italy to speak with the Voltrie. He wanted them to kill him. Edward had said before he left that he couldn’t live with out me. I was outraged that he was about to go kill himself because of me. Alice and I ran off as fast as we could to save him. We got there just in time and were all lucky we lived.
“What are you talking about?” I said, but before I could finish I could hear their conversation.
“What was my Mom like when my Dad left her?” Renesmee asked curious.
“Nessie, you should have seen her. She was a wreck. She always held herself together, she didn’t talk to you unless you asked her a direct question, and she was always lifeless.” Jacob said in a quiet voice, probably hoping me and Edward couldn’t hear.
“Oh. That’s terrible. I could never picture my parents with out each other…” Her voice started to drift off, most likely in deep thought, trying to picture it.
“But once she started hanging out with me, she started to smile again. She began to be more human. She had something to look forward to. And we always did these crazy stunts.” Jacob began to go into depth about stuff me and him used to do. As he told his story, I was picturing what he was saying. Remembering back to those old days when he was my Jacob, my sun.
“Why did my Dad leave her?” Renesmee asked the question with hesitation.
“He was trying to protect her. He knew he wasn’t good for her, he knew it wasn’t safe for him to be around her. You see, the human world and our world are not supposed to mix. Bad things happened. Such as: Bella was almost killed by another vampire named James. Then at her 18th birthday party, Jasper nearly killed her over a paper cut. He was still trying to get the hang of their ‘vegetarian’ diet. Your Mother was a magnate for trouble. Your Dad couldn’t let anything happen to her again. So he left, hoping she could move on and be safe. Nessie, you should of seen how much he loved her. It was terrible for the both of them while they were apart. He was so protective of your Mother when he came back, they were inseparable.” Jacob said the words and I felt the sadness return.
Jacob continued to tell our story and how Alice and I went to rescue Edward. But I couldn’t take it anymore. The painful memories were eating me alive, and it had to of been at least twice as bad for Edward. So I pulled him farther away, suggesting that they were fine and we should go home to our cottage.