An Unanswered Question

May 19, 2010
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The Sun had been buried behind the cloud the whole day. There isn’t a single ray of sun shine to be seen. People are running, getting away from the rain. The whole day was dark and depressing, as if someone had taken away all the colors. People were hurrying to get back home, to the warmth or a home and family. Not Darl. He is standing in front of the only window in the room; think if a day like this can be any more beautiful. He can not keep himself inside the closed room anymore. He had to get out. He peered outside, and it looked like a piece of heaven is waiting out there just for him. Darl knows who guards his room. Old Dousman isn’t as cruel as others in this asylum. He lets Darl to go outside for his natural needs. Darl knows that getting away form this locked cell isn’t that hard under Dousman’s eyes. To be truthful, Darl sometimes wonders if Dousman could even see.
“Morning Dousman, what a wonderful day it is, don’t you think?” Darl exclaimed. But Dousman remained just as still as he was before, not a single sign that he hard Darl talk. “Can you open the door please? I have some personal work I need to be done with.” Again Dousman stayed still, but his eyes flicked toward Darl through the iron bar. “Yeh better make it fast, boy. I aint got the whole day waiting for yeh.” Dousman stand up really slowly and take out a ring holding at least a hundred keys. He carefully picked out a key and unlocked the door. The door made a loud scratch noise that made Darl’s hair in his hands stand up. He got out and started to follow Dousman to the bathroom area. The area was one of the places where the asylum warden’s spared some privacy to the patient. But they are patient just by the words, they usually get treated like a criminal and there living place isn’t better than of a jail cell. Watching Dousman walk toward the bathroom, Darl noticed the way he walks. He is walking with his head bowed down so low that I look like he is under a burden so heavy that he can’t stand straight. Darl caught a little glimpse of Dousman’s face, and it was clear that Dousman hated his job. Darl felt bad for what he was about to do to this old fellow who didn’t do any wrong to him other than just watched over him. “‘Ere.” Dousman said as he stopped in front of a toilet stall, his back to Darl.” Go and hurry up. I ain’t got the whole day for yeh”. Dousman turned to face Darl.” “I am so sorry, Dousman. But I have to do it. I am dying in here.” “What are ya talkin’, boy? What’s tha….” He didn’t get time to finish his sentence, as for Darl already hit him with the beam of the toilet. “Sorry again” and he walked away.

Darl hit the main street that was a mile from the Mental Asylum. It was drizzling. The cool rain mist felt like a blanket wrapped around him. He peacefully walked around the city, watching people hurrying pass him. Darl picked up some of there conversation, people were really eager to reach home. He smiled inspite the sadness hang around him. Home seems like places that were out of his reach. He never had a place that he could fully call it home. Neither did he have a true family. It surprised him, when he found out he could remember his mothers face. It was surprisingly uncomfortable. After three months of therapy in the asylum, he had lost most of his memory. Some names just pop in his head now a days, without a face or information about the name to recognize. Same is happening about the faces, no names attached. So when his mothers face came to his mind and remembering her as his mother, it was more than a surprise, it was a relief. He wasn’t forgetting every thing. He can remember something. He looked around. Something is familiar about the pharmacy in the corner. The wagons on the road rang a bell in his mind. As if some one is trying to open a long abandoned door that was hidden inside him, which was going to open up any moment. Those unknown faces and names swirled in side his head. Some flash picture of an old house, a family in a wagon added to his head. A couple passed him in street. The woman was trying to convince the man to take responsibility for their future baby. The face of that young woman and the family in the wagon click together in his head, as if those were the last piece of a puzzle, the puzzle that will lead him to his identity, was waiting for him to recall.” Why? Why those faces do makes me feel like something is missing? What’s wrong with me? Why? These questions overwhelmed him, making him crazy. Suddenly his head exploded with pain under pressure, every thing around him turned black, the gravel path underneath his feet gave away.

Hours later Darl got his conscious back. His head still feels like a web of black sleepiness but he can see a little around him now. He was in a white bed that can only belong to a hospital. He can hear people around him. “He tried to runaway again. This is fourth time in three months that he did that. Two of his guards died and Dousman still didn’t have back from coma. This is too risky for us.” a female voice said. “I think putting him into an overdose of sleeping pills will do it” he heard a male voice saying, but he was too much into drugs to make out the meanings of the words. The last word he heard before he slipped into a deep sleep was from the women, saying “Ok”.

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