Nudge's Hair Drama--A Maximum Ride Spinoff

April 20, 2010
Fang. Fang. Fang. All I could think about was him, my mind was all fuzzy and... I heard a small thud. Probably just Gazzy falling off the couch or something... Back to Fang, the guy who made my heart melt, made me feel like I was a girl in one of those cheesy romances, swept off her feet by the avian bird-kid of her dreams. If Angel was to burst into the room at this very moment, I probably wouldn't notice. Well, more like I would just ignore her. I did that a lot, but she seemed to be doing that a lot more often these days...heck, she deserved it.

I spoke too soon. Damn, why does that child have to read my mind? I could hear Angel fumbling with the doorknob, finding out that it was locked, and then deciding on kicking the door down.

'Damn you, child,' I thought.

Angel smiled in her too-sweet-to-be-sane way, and her voice sounded in my mind, 'Oh Max, I have a good reason for kicking the door down.'

Fang tore himself away from my body. "What is it, Ange? And...why do you have raspberry jelly all over yourself?" I noticed her jelly-ified body and clothes.

"Pie, Fang, pie...Well, that's what I came to tell you. Gazzy and Iggy decided to put a mild explosive into Iggy's pie after he baked it, and when we all gathered around at the table to eat it--"

I cut her off. "Wait... a MILD explosive? I'm going to kill them, I told them not to--" I paused. "Why didn't you guys tell me there was pie?"

"I did. THREE times."

"Oh." I slumped back down onto the pillow.

"ANYWAY, when we all sat down, Gazzy said, 'THREE TWO ONE!' and he and Iggy pulled trash bags over their heads. Thats why--" She gestured to her now stained cute kitten-patterned t-shirt. "My FAVORITE shirt it now ruined.” I could hear Nudge whining to herself, complaining about her sticky hair that had taken an hour to curl and condition perfectly.

"Okay, let's get this party over with." I rolled up my sleeves and got off the bed. "GAZZY, IGGY, YOU GET YOUR GUILTY LITTLE BUTTS OVER HERE, PRONTO!"

I heard a variety of swears coming from outside the room, and heard Gazzy whisper, "Shoot, Angel told Max, the little--"

Angel wiped some exploded pie off of her face. "I heard that!"

I raised my voice again, "DID YOU HEAR ME SAY, PRONTO?"

A hysterical looking Gazzy and Iggy stumbled into the room, clearly trying to hide their grins. "Okay you guys, this blowing up things while we're on our break thing has to stop, NOW. You've already blown up three trees, and I do not want a pattern of exploding food starting. You better stop making these things or--" They gave each other meaningful glances. "Don't tell me you guys have more in store for us." I sighed. "Okay--"

"Okay, hand them over." Angel started speaking at the same time I did. Creepy how that kid thought the way I did sometimes. Even more creepy the fact that she seemed convinced it was her place, not mine, to say this.

"Um, okay Angel, who made you leader?"

She frowned at me, seemingly offended. AS IF. "I--"

"Max, leave it. You already got two crooks-to-be to deal with." Fang. My rock. My annoying rock who brought me out of my accusation-sprees.

"Fine," I snapped. "Okay, Gaz, Igg, like Angel said, hand 'em over."
They hesitated for a moment, then realized I wasn't going to be fooled. Out of their pockets and Iggy's hoodie they extracted not one, not two, but a baker's dozen of thin oval shaped mechanical-looking explosives. "Thin," Gazman explained, "To fit between things like lasagna layers." I realized then that our plan was to have lasagna that night. So they had an aftershock, eh? I would never understand how they managed to pop these things out like cookies.

"All right, how do I get rid of 'em?"

"Well..." Gazman started, "You can't really destroy them without setting them off, I think. Or by making them explode with the controls--"

Oh yeah. The controls. Iggy realized it just as Gazman said it. He grimaced. "Yeah, I want the controls too." I said. Iggy extracted a control pad that seemed to be an RV car controler converted to a mini-grenade trigger. "So that's all?" They nodded, and I glanced at Angel. "Confirmation on this, mind-reader?"

"Yeah, they're clean."

“Okay, so let's throw these things off of a cliff or something.”

“On it.” Fang grinned at me. So maybe we can't go on a REAL date, we might as well go on a bird-kid one.

“Sure, lovebirds, go on your mini-bomb dropping spree, have fun with it. WE don't get to drop them, even though WE made them...” Iggy sulked and his messy hair fell into his face.

“Well, Igg, that's your punishment for EXPLODING PIE on your flock.”

Nudge peeked into the now door-less doorway of my room. “What WERE you two doing when these two--” she pointed at Gazzy and Iggy, “Blew up RASPBERRY PIE into my recently washed, curled, and conditioned hair?!” She looked wild, staring at us with her nutmeg-brown eyes and with bits of the pie all over her. “Do you know how long this took?! LOOK AT ME! I'M A MESS!” She ran, slightly tearful, from the scene.

“Umm, shall we?” Fang took my hand.

“We shall.”


Before we walked out the front door for our flight, we noticed a frightened looking Total underneath the couch.

“Hey, Total, whazzup?”

“P-pie, that's w-what's up! I--I almost got h-hit, but I d-dodged under the c-couch...” He whined.

“Well, why are you still under the couch then?”

“S-scared. A-afraid they'll d-do it again.”

“No worries, Total, we confiscated them.” I winked at Fang. “No explosives for dinner.”

“T-thanks M-max. Y-you're the only s-sane person in t-this h-house I s-swear...”

As we walked away, Fang whispered to me, “I think he's in shock, Total usually has enough sense to crawl out of a couch when things have quieted down.” I thought of thunderstorms. Total was terrified of them.

I sprinted forward, feeling my leg muscles stretch out after a lazy afternoon, and lifted my wings out, catching the wind. I soared upward, enjoying the cool wind in my face. I would never get tired of this feeling. Even if I did, I knew I would never get tired of being with Fang. 'Such cheesy words today,' I thought to myself.

“Sometimes I feel like my life is a fairytale, and then I remember we're in a world full of mutants and I have wings.” I felt sad all of a sudden. “Princesses never have wings.”

Fang did a corkscrew and doing so blew a gust of wind in my direction. I stumbled in air, and he nudged me playfully with his wing. Instead of saying, “Why do you ever think you're in a fairytale?” like a normal person would say, he jokingly said, “Well, you're definitely a princess if I ever saw one.” I hadn't showered yet that week.

I smiled at him. He was the only one I told everything. Well, almost everything. “I feel like I'm in a fairytale every time I'm with you. You're such a prince charming, Fang.” Wow, this was turning more into a romance movie every second. Back to reality.

I threw a mini-grenade into his hands. “Think fast!”

“Hey Max,” he grinned, toying with me. “That could be dangerous, you know.”

“Why, there's nothing below us but...” I stared at a blur coming towards us at top speed. “S***, s***, s***, what IS that?”

Fang gave me a horrified glance. “Max, corkscrew, NOW.”

The blur was shooting bullets at us with a machine gun. And the blur was Ari. Man, things were getting weirder and weirder.

Like it? Hate it? Give me comments, criticisms, all that jazz. :) I don't plan to continue a fan-fiction series, this was just a one-time thing for the fun. I wrote another version that splits off of Nudge getting mad about her hair. It has less Fang and Ari, more flock getting mad at Max and Max yoga-breathing. Just request it, and I'll post it! :) And don't forget to read the side thingy!

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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

NikitaB. said...
Aug. 13, 2012 at 3:05 am
OMG I was dying of laughter!!! I love it!!!!!
CaeCae97 said...
Feb. 4, 2012 at 8:08 pm
This is a cute story! Keep up the good work. By the way, what happened to Fang in the real series?
tuttlelover said...
Feb. 2, 2012 at 8:38 pm
make one with more detail on fang and max before the amazing pie bomb...plz!!!
hdfhddfh said...
Nov. 29, 2010 at 5:43 pm
Catie said...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Really good, but I think you should have ended it at, "And the blur was Ari." 

You captured the characters' personalities really well.  Keep writing!!!

JacobC said...
May 6, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Great!  You should make one more story about their fight against Ari.  Keep writing!
nutmeg212 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 4, 2010 at 3:44 pm
this was really good. you captured max's sarcatic tone and fang's "silent but strong and resilient" tones. i felt like i was reading it out of th book. it would be cool if you posted to other one you wrote (even if it does have less fang... :(  go fang!!!!) but really good. keep it up!!!
EllaMcFarley replied...
Jun. 1, 2010 at 4:57 pm
thanks guys!! will definately post the other piece, although it'll probably take fooooorever to get posted lol :P
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