Trapped in an Elevator

April 1, 2010
By Rosealyd GOLD, Oconomowoc, Wisconsin
Rosealyd GOLD, Oconomowoc, Wisconsin
11 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The steel elevator doors open revealing a tall, African American man in a black leather jacket and a tan fedora standing next to an orderly business woman wearing a red pant suit, her hair in a tight French twist.
Ashton walks in instantly smiling as he recognizes one of their faces. Sarah Palin looks up at him, her face brightening at the handsome young man as he strides towards her.
“Samuel L. Jackson! My man. How you been?” Ashton extends his hand to the unwilling subject for a fist pump. Samuel lamely pumps back, before looking around the elevator ignoring the question.
As Ashton opens his mouth to speak, a sound resembling a chainsaw striking metal interrupts him. All three stand still as the elevator shakes.
“Well that was weird…” Ashton jokingly says. The elevator stops then, sending Sarah crashing into Ashton, the aforesaid being pleasantly annoyed at no longer being able to watch curvature of the young man’s lips but instead smashed against his side. Samuel simply grabs onto the waist high bar encircling the perimeter of the elevator to steady himself. Sarah slowly disentangles herself from Ashton, fixing her hair flirtatiously and making a sound somewhere between a snort and a suggestive giggle. Ashton looks around the elevator, oblivious to the weak flirting attempts from the former senator. Samuel watches the elevator’s floor panel intently waiting for any sign that the problem causing the sudden standstill will end soon.
“You guys, I can honestly, honestly swear that we are not on Punk’d.” Ashton smiles at his two companions.
“I don’t mind this unfortunate delay. I was just on my way up to see if my office has a nice view of Russia,” Sarah replies.
Samuel looks over in contempt at his two companions wondering if he could simply claw the impenetrable doors open to escape.
“Well I guess this is the best time to share this one dream last night. It involved me, a pirate, and this crazy ostrich and you’ll never believe what happened…” Ashton starts as he goes into an hour-long spiel on how the ‘crazy ostrich’ and pirate had a furious battle to the death.
Samuel sits his head in his hands, back against the wall, trapped listening to the youngling talk. He looks over at Sarah, her mind most probably entranced in some sexual fantasy involving her, Ashton, and the elevator sans himself. As Ashton mentions how both at the ostrich and pirate then pulled out lightsabers, Samuel feels himself losing it.
“That’s it! I have had it with your mother f***ing story and this mother f***ing elevator!” Samuel charges at Ashton his hands ready to mangle flesh. As his hands are mere inches from the innocent’s neck, the elevator decides then to lurch into motion, sending Samuel back onto a slow acting Sarah. “Oh thank god!”
Ashton looks over at Samuel in bewilderment as the elevator doors open. Samuel regains his composure, nodding to Ashton as he walks out of the doors. Sarah lays there sprawled out on the floor.
“Well now that he’s gone, want to….”

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