Fred 'Beets' You 'Out That Door, Bye Bye Bye'

March 29, 2010
By JennaP GOLD, Sussex, Wisconsin
JennaP GOLD, Sussex, Wisconsin
17 articles 0 photos 0 comments

“OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDDDD! Ehhhhhhhehhhhh! I can’t believe I’m in an elevator!” Fred was squealing as he stepped over the crack showing the long plummet down to the ground in the elevator. He looked up to see who was going to be his elevator buddy for 5 stories. “AAAAHHHHHHHHH! You’re yo-o-o-ur ‘NSYNC!” Fred stood there shaking with excitement.
The group NSYNC took baby steps backwards in sync as soon as Fred started screaming. “Wow, you have so much energy kid. What’s your name?”
“Well, Fred, god must have spe-e-ent, a little less ti-i-ime…on you-ou-ou-ou.” NSYNC serenaded their concern to Fred.
“Oh. Hello..fellow elevatorians.” A man walked onto the elevator wearing a mustard shirt, light olive colored pants, and giant glasses that were engulfing the bored, yet pompous, attitude on his face.
“Hey hi! I’m Fred! I like Halloween, I DO NOT like elevators nope not one bit, I DO NOT like g-going to dentistss, that’s where w-were going right now, oh goddd, I just knooow it! I DO NOT like f-firecrackers because once my mom b-bought me a firecra…” Fred’s voice faded in the back ground as Dwight started to talk.
“I wouldn’t expect YOU guys to know who I am. I am not a fan, but I am Dwight Schrute,” he added under his breath proudly, “assistant manager at Dunder Mifflin Paper Supply,” then he pointed to his name tag that clearly stated assistant TO the manager, “I own a beet farm and live with my cousin Mose.”
NSYNC said, “Beets make us ill. But we like them better than that kid. We want Fred to go bye bye bye.”
“LOOK if I push ALL the buttons it looks so cool! It looks like a Christmas tree!! Oh no. Christmas is creepy. I don’t like Christmas…” Fred was frantically trying to get his mind off of going to the dentist.
Dwight looked over to the glowing buttons and suddenly the elevator started to shake. All of a sudden the elevator jerked to a stop.
“I want him gone just as much as you.” He leaned in to NSYNC and said in with a crackily voice, “I know he’s a little boy, but I think I can knock him out with my black belt self defense moves.”
Fred looked curiously over to where they were contemplating Fred’s fate and said, “What are you guys whispering about?! Whenever my mom whispers, she’s complaining about me. Are you complaining about me?!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. So…I’m here to see the doctor to find out if I cut down enough on the beets, my vitamin A levels were really high before, how about you?” Dwight changed the subject to avoid Fred getting suspicious.
NSYNC tried to distract Fred. “Hey, Fred, what’s your favorite song?”
“Alright boys you heard him. Let’s hit it! Digital digital get down, just you and me. I’ll be 20,000 miles away and I can see you and baby baby you can see me-e-e-e-e…..” While singing JC gave Dwight a sly wink.
Dwight started creeping up behind a spastic jumping Fred and was about to karate chop him, when Fred swung around and punched a shocked Dwight in the throat.
“Heee-ya!” Fred took out Dwight cold, and turned to look at NSYNC and said, “Were you in on what Dwight was trying to do?! You’re my favorite band on the face of the Earth!”
“Er, uh, well, your voice is so high pitched. Do you suck helium all the time or what?”
“AHH I can’t believe you’re making fun of me!” Fred jumped up in the air spun around with his leg sticking out and kicked everyone of the members of NSYNC and they all fell like dominos. Dwight and NSYNC were knocked out cold on the bottom of the elevator floor.
Fred walked off the elevator whistling Digital Get Down on his way to his dentist appointment happier than he was entering the elevator.

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