The Twilight Saga in About Two Minutes This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

September 26, 2009
[BELLA and EDWARD are onstage. EDWARD is staring over his shoulder like a creeper at BELLA.]

BELLA: Are you a vampire?

EDWARD: No! Yes...

[BELLA whirls around to face EDWARD.]

BELLA: I love you.

EDWARD: I love you too.

[They kiss. JAMES enters and stands menacingly behind BELLA.]

BELLA: Help! I'm in danger!

[EDWARD punches JAMES. JAMES falls and is no longer onstage. The pair kiss again.]

EDWARD: I love you. I don't love you. I have to go now.


[EDWARD exits. JACOB enters.]

JACOB: I love you too.


[They embrace. EDWARD rushes back in.]

EDWARD: Hey, get away from my girl!

JACOB: Or what?

[Michael Jackson music plays, preferably 'Thriller.']

EDWARD and JACOB in UNISON: Dance off!

[They dance for a short time before BELLA interjects.]

BELLA: Stop it! Can't you see- my eggo is preggo!


JACOB: (with intensity) I am in love your child! [awkward pause] Hey, isn't there something about the Volturi?

EDWARD: Yeah, but that was anti-climactic.

BELLA: Nothing happened. Edward! Please! Kill me so I can live forever!

EDWARD: (looks doubtful) Okay.

[EDWARD pulls out a gun and shoots her. She collapses to the ground; JACOB face-palms.]

JACOB: I think she meant "bite me."



BELLA: (rising with arms outstretched) I'm aliiiiiive!

[RENESME, preschool aged, runs out from behind her.]

RENESME: I'm your daughter!

ALL: Yay!

[Cut to scene of the four skipping through a field with "Happy Together" by the Turtles playing. EDWARD, already shiny, takes his shirt off and blinds everyone with his whiteness. Music abruptly cuts off.]


End credits.

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Elsa K. said...
Oct. 10, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Ha ha ha ha!
esist replied...
Jan. 3, 2010 at 12:18 am
That's was amazing...I just love people who do this kind of stuff to get back at the craziness Twilight set off.
Pensivegurl replied...
Jan. 9, 2010 at 7:16 pm
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! >.<
FinderOfAnswers replied...
May 16, 2010 at 4:09 pm
hahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha lol that was hilarious :)
Inkmusic This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 28, 2010 at 2:43 pm
LOVE IT!!!! OH MY GAWD!!! XD. My friends are all going to love this, hahaha...
monkeyface replied...
Jan. 16, 2011 at 6:47 pm

this is so amazing i shared it with many of my friends who told their friends bout it.

it was awsome

andu made fun of it...but it was super accurete.

LOL :p

Amberleaf replied...
Aug. 8, 2016 at 3:36 pm
LOL So Hilarious
Darktress replied...
Aug. 8, 2016 at 3:42 pm
blah blah blah blah blah
Amberleaf replied...
Aug. 8, 2016 at 4:17 pm
LOL, anywho wyd?
Darktress replied...
Aug. 8, 2016 at 4:18 pm
nothing much wby
Amberleaf replied...
Aug. 8, 2016 at 4:24 pm
Writing a story
Darktress replied...
Aug. 8, 2016 at 4:26 pm
nice are you writting one on here?
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