Harry lily & James potter finally meet

September 20, 2009
By kmoruzzi BRONZE, Warrenton, Missouri
kmoruzzi BRONZE, Warrenton, Missouri
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Chapter 1
“James, do you think that Serious Black is watching Harry for us?”
“I don’t know maybe Lily, I mean it has been 21 years since we last saw him.”




Meanwhile at Harry & Ginny’s house
“Morning, Ginny.”
“Morning, Harry.”
“Where’s the kids we’re going to be late.”
“Upstairs, still getting ready.”
“James, Lily, Albus, come on we’re going to be late if we don’t leave soon.”
“Coming.”

The Potters left for platform nine and three quarters. They met Ron, Hermoine, and Rose when they arrived. The kids took off to go have some fun before the train leaves. Harry’s scar starts to burn but he ignores it. Suddenly He-Who-Can’t-Be-Named appeared to finish off Harry for good.

“Harry get the kids, we’ll keep him distracted.”

Harry went to get the kids, when he did they begged him not to go. He tried to tell them that their parents were in danger and he needed to help them. They wouldn’t let him leave, so finally they watched as Harry fought to protect them. After the fight was over Lily went over to tell them that someone was here to talk to them. They all went to see who it was.

“Who are you, what do you want?”
“Don’t tell me that you forgot about me already.”
“Professor is that you?”
“Yes Ronald it is.”
“Dumbledore oh it is so good to see you.”
The kids got onto the train and Serious came into the room that they were in. Their parents and Dumbledore were on their way to Harry’s and Ginny’s house to talk over tea. On the way out of the train they met Hagrid who is the grounds keeper at Hogwarts.
"Hi ya kids, it seems like just yesterday that your parents started school here."
"Hey Lily watch out for Snape and Malfoy."
"Oh I will, I'm not scared of Snape or Malfoy."
"Albus come on don't be a scaredy cat. We don't have all night."


The author's comments:
This is just a little something that I've been working on.I was inspired by my friend Julie to start this story so this is just the first chapter of the story. I hope that this will show you that if you work together you can do anything.

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This article has 53 comments.


on Apr. 29 2017 at 8:08 pm
Artistic_Geek_Roo_10 SILVER, Albuquerque, New Mexico
6 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Happiness can be found in the darkest of places, but only if one remembers to turn on the light."
Albus Dumbledore

Sorry, but 98% of the characters in this wouldn't be born yet or they would be dead... I'm not entirely sure if you finished the series or not. Better luck next time!

on Apr. 5 2017 at 5:30 pm
Terilyn Martin BRONZE, Levittown, Pennsylvania
2 articles 1 photo 3 comments
I was a little confused too but if you need any help I'm here

on Mar. 17 2016 at 11:17 am
TikiTobi PLATINUM, Traverse City, Michigan
20 articles 1 photo 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
I got a ton of work to do. A SKELEton.
I need to put a little more BackBONE into it.
I deserve PUNishment.
Nyeh heh heh!

As everyone else commented, this was a bit confusing. But I give you a medal for effort :)

HuntShot732 said...
on Oct. 1 2015 at 6:34 pm
HuntShot732, Thornton, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 15 comments
Yeah. It was a bit confusing.

fahsnf said...
on Jun. 19 2015 at 6:05 pm
Serious Black..... Seems legit

on Oct. 8 2014 at 5:49 pm
The_DoctorDonna PLATINUM, Anytown, Iowa
44 articles 2 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is impossible. The word itself says 'I'm Possible'"

I agree. You have some great potential, don't let these comments get in your way. Just keep working on it and maybe have some friends proofread it for grammar and stuff. I often find that I think my writing makes sense, but then my friends point out lots of mistakes. Ignore the rude comments and just look at the suggestions. Just don't lose hope!

freeday15 GOLD said...
on Apr. 5 2014 at 5:31 pm
freeday15 GOLD, Paramus, New Jersey
18 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is Blind" i truly believe in this it is in all of my pieces, and if u read between the lines then u will find it there...

this made NO sense at all

Buurrry said...
on Jan. 8 2014 at 12:24 pm
Buurrry, Las Vegas, Nevada
0 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
Time is a slut. She screws everybody. - John Green, The Fault in our Stars

So Harry had kids before he even went to hogwarts?

Buurrry said...
on Oct. 30 2013 at 12:34 pm
Buurrry, Las Vegas, Nevada
0 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
Time is a slut. She screws everybody. - John Green, The Fault in our Stars

How can you have Voldomort come back to light without even explaining it?!?!?!? Come on. He's dead. Atlest come up with a new villan.

on Feb. 23 2013 at 12:51 pm
GreekGoddess BRONZE, Andover, Connecticut
3 articles 0 photos 182 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm not superstitious, I believe in irony.
~Me

Oh and I understood that some of the names in this were actually the kids, but you might want to make that more specfic. 

on Feb. 23 2013 at 12:47 pm
GreekGoddess BRONZE, Andover, Connecticut
3 articles 0 photos 182 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm not superstitious, I believe in irony.
~Me

Okay so at first I thought you were in the train station of Harry's dream and they were watching over Harry and his kids. Then you simply confused me. Everything seemed rushed like you were writing it in only an hour or something. This has a really good idea i think, but right now it is only an outline. You need to specifiy who is talking for one.  Also explain what is happening, don't just have it happen. This could be really good, don't give up!

on Jan. 10 2013 at 6:37 pm
AmethystSparx BRONZE, Liberty, Missouri
1 article 1 photo 3 comments
The was completely messed up. Dumbledore and Harry's parents ar dead. It makes no sense.

J1029 SILVER said...
on Jun. 4 2012 at 11:28 am
J1029 SILVER, Tampa, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sing like no one is listening,
Dance like no one is watching,
Love like you've never been hurt and
Live like it's heaven on earth.

- Mark Twain

I didn't like it. It made no sense. Voldemort was dead and the plot was out there. Don't give up on writing just work out the major details.

Anni45 BRONZE said...
on Jun. 2 2012 at 11:03 pm
Anni45 BRONZE, Saint Paul, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments
I don't understand it. How can James and Lily be alive, and Harry and Ginny are married and have kids already? I think if you were going to write it like that you would write a part of it that is transitioning, like "5 years later" because then it might not be as confusing.

on May. 31 2012 at 11:19 am
JustALittleBitOfMe BRONZE, Hampshire, Other
3 articles 2 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Life's a b*tch and so am I"

I really dont get this. The plot of the story is rash and i dont think you thought about this before you wrote it. Better luck next time.

MollyEB SILVER said...
on Apr. 12 2012 at 12:49 pm
MollyEB SILVER, Scotch Plains, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 21 comments
lily ( harrys mom) has to be dead or else harry wouldnt have the protection of the love to be survive and also so many other people in this are dead!

Dreamr GOLD said...
on Jan. 2 2012 at 10:08 am
Dreamr GOLD, Tuscaloosa, Alabama
19 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Some people are born into this world thinking the Earth owes them something. It owes them nothing-it was here first!"









-Samuel Clemens

Ok, just a couple points. This could work as maybe an outline, but remember your commas, periods, and question marks. Add emotion. Smooth out your dialouge, and you might wanna explain, if all the dead come back to life

on Dec. 16 2011 at 12:34 pm
cantdeleteaccounthelp, Sey, West Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 64 comments
Mmm I didn't get it. It's good but I think it still needs work.

Adnama BRONZE said...
on Nov. 23 2011 at 9:43 am
Adnama BRONZE, Sidney, Iowa
4 articles 0 photos 9 comments
I didn't quite catch on.  It was a little confusing.  I am a huge fan of the Harry Potter Series and I know all of the characters. I just don't think that this was put together quite right.

on Oct. 6 2011 at 12:22 pm

Hey, I think that this a superb attempt at fan fiction. However, there were a few issues with this piece. I think the curx of the actual idea was well thoguht out but on the other hand the way you presented it was a tad confusing. Contrary to other comments, I dont believe it is a crime to change the events in the actual book. Also, in my opinion, what made it so difficult to interpret was the dialogue. Maybe a more effective method of presenting your idea would be choose a distinct narrator instead of muddling along with no defined voice. Overall, I think that you have a fantastic idea to play with. Keep at it and your writing will soon begin to flow. You should also consider rereading JK's work to get a real feel for the mood of the books. Fervent HP fans appreciate fan fiction that really does the original books justice. I believe you could gain respect from HP fans; just keep working on it.

River Beaudelaire

 



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