Blonde Gone Red

April 7, 2009
By TJ21992 PLATINUM, Penn Yan, New York
TJ21992 PLATINUM, Penn Yan, New York
31 articles 1 photo 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No matter how fast light travels, darkness is always there first, waiting!"


In the dark corner, wide, wet, blue eyed girls who views herself as nothing. Her names was Nancy and 18 in her last year of schooling. Every one told her how beautiful she was and how intelligent she was too. But somehow none of that was enough. Nancy even had a boyfriend , his name was Laurence and he was an athlete with a body to make the girls drool. Girl after girl would line up to date him but he was dedicated to Nancy and only Nancy. But still this was not enough for her.

In her room Nancy had a full body mirror that she starred into every day. When people looked at her they saw perfection but as Nancy starred into the mirror every night all she saw was the ugliness that she thought she was. Every night she would take a safety pin and place it against her toned, olive, tanned, skin and press down. Slowly she would drag the pin across her stomach slowly allowing her skin to rip, listening to it as if it were mere paper. The thin crimson red blood that would flow through would bring a slight smile upon Nancy's face as she thought of her blood as the impurity and ugliness that was inside her finally escaping. It became that it was the only thing that could bring Nancy true happiness, and to make sure she could continue she told no one of what she did.

The worst night of all was the night in which Laurence broke her heart. He broke up with her for a girl that had a boyfriend herself but pulled Laurence in by what she did and her beautiful looks. That night when Nancy went to the mirror and shredded open her skin with the pin it was not enough. So later that night about two hours later, when her parents were fast asleep within their room, Nancy traveled ghost like out to the kitchen. There, from within the knife drawer she removed a butchers knife shiny with a sharp blade. She placed this under her shirt and returned to her room as quite as before. When she returned to her room she returned to the mirror. Her eyes were watering up as she pulled out her Dare phone went to Laurence and sent him a text message saying "I'm sorry.". With this Nancy dropped the phone and replaced it with the light, shinny butcher knife.

She looked down at the knife placed in her right hand as she lifted her shirt with her left. More tears began to swell within her blue eyes as she pressed sharply down at the knife slowly and deeply dragging the knife across her stomach as her crimson tainted blood poured outward from within its holding place. Nancy bit her lip in an attempt to quite from screaming from the immense pain she created but she couldn't help[ but allow a few squeals of pain to seep through. When she was done Nancy dropped to her knees and dropped the knife beside her. Nancy looked at her phone and saw that Laurence had answered but she did not feel like grabbing her know red dotted phone. Instead Nancy crawled to the corner of her dark lonely room pulled her knees up to her chest though the pain was almost to unbearable and wept. She wept till her eyes turned red and all her crimson blood had escaped from her body. When Nancy's parents found her the next morning and called the cops all the papers red "Perfect 18 year old Nancy, blond haired went red last night in a successful attempt to rid herself from this world."



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This article has 3 comments.


on May. 3 2009 at 11:56 am
Chicken--Pie SILVER, Higher Bebington, Other
8 articles 1 photo 17 comments
This made me feel really ill... so obviously I love it! I agree with Denae about the first paragraph and I feel really sorry for people like Nancy. I'd hate to feel so numb that I'd hurt myself just to feel something. Especially over a boy. There are plenty more fish in the sea... Anyway, this was really powerful for me. So keep it up!

Dandunay96 said...
on Apr. 20 2009 at 11:16 pm
Dandunay96, Buffalo Grove, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments
This is fantastic! I love it! Nice job!

on Apr. 20 2009 at 6:04 pm
Denae Worcester BRONZE, Castle Rock, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 31 comments
For a short, few paragraphs, this story did well at conveying its point.

Also, good with the emotional detachment in this story.

Just, there's so much you left out you could consider adding if you want to extend it, besides fixing all the typos and grammar errors (please change first paragraph so that it's not so confusing).

First, I was curious to know who Nancy really was and why she cut herself. She was unsatisfied, you say, but with what? Herself? Is it her beauty, the way she talks, the friends she has, or what? The readers know about nothing about Nancy, except that she has a strong enough will to kill herself as soon as boyfriend breaks up with her, and it sounds like for good reason. Does she even consider living? Does she fail at first, grab a knife that's too dull and have to get another, trailing blood across the kitchen floor? Or, did she not mean to kill herself and it just happened that way? It sounds like her life is more centered around cutting than her boyfriend....

One idea would be to write about what would happen one day if Nancy couldn't find her pin, and she wonders where to find another or if someone has found hers and figured it out.

I liked your symbolism with the mirror, where Nancy views herself as something less than she is, and where she tries to rid herself of all the wrongness.


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