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The Final Break-up

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You hold me your arms and stroke my hair. I cuddle in close and promise never to let go. I feel complete. It feels as if everything is perfect and there are no problems in the world. We entwine our fingers into an inescapable maze. As I mumble the words, ‘I don’t know what I would do with out you..’ he responds with, ‘and you will never have to know. You are mine and I will never leave you.’ A smile crosses my face as I rest my head on his chest and rest my eyes. I listen closely to here his heart beat. Steady and strong. I feel safe. I feel as if nothing can hurt me. He whispers in my ear, ‘I love you. You are my only one. For ever and always.’ a warm feeling consumes my body as my eyes search too meet his face. I look into his eyes, ‘I love you too.’ soft my voice is. He flushes pink and moves his face closer to mine. Brushing his lips softy against my forehead and down to my lips. I feel happy. I feel that even if out of this moment, my life is a living hell, I am truly happy in his arms. My eyes droop heavy as I try to stay awake . It gets harder and harder as the minutes pass. And before I know it, I am asleep in his arms. I sleep lightly. Startled at any sudden moves. But I sleep peacefully. Dreaming of nothing unparticular just memories of all the past times we have spent together. I breath deeply still the smile reaching my face. He moves from underneath me. I struggle to open my eyes and awaken. He disappears and I am left alone. I feel confused. I feel that it is unreal. He cant actually leave me. Can he? My eyes open as I hear the footsteps along the hard ground. The tears trickle down my cheek as I turn to see his perfect figure moving farther and farther away from me. I want to make him stop. I want to tell him not to leave. But my body numbs in shock as the one I love walks away from me. I try to cry out to him. No sound escapes my lips. I try to reach for him. My arms stay dead at my sides. Why won’t he stop? I feel devastated. I feel like my heart is slowly being ripped out of my chest. I cant just let him walk away…. I throw myself up from where I was seated, ‘wait!’ I make a step towards him. ‘don’t leave me…’ my voice breaks as the true sadness reaches my heart. He stops in his path. ‘you… you cant leave me… you… you promised.’ I try to put my voice together and not sound to pathetic. He turns to face me. His perfect face unaffected by my devastation. ‘I’m sorry… I just... I just cant do this anymore..’ he turns his back to me once more. His stride is strong as he shrinks into the distance and out of my life. I feel heartbroken. I feel empty and that nothing can fill the hole he made in my chest. He really left. He is gone. Confirming that my life is a living hell. I’m stunned. What is wrong with me? Am I not pretty enough? Did I talk to much? Did I drive him away? I am left clue less as the glue holding my life together disappears and I begin to fall apart. The tears come more heavy as I weep. I start to choke over my sobs as my legs collapse from beneath me. I lie on the cold ground, Helpless. I want to become deceased. It seems now that there is no reason to live. I feel indescribable. I feel like my soul is dead while my body keeps on living. I go through life like I would any other day. Seemed almost normal. Almost. Still, he wasn't’t there. My happiness was absent. My smiles, non-existent. You could call me a zombie for the way I acted. Nothing could change the way I felt. Months go by… nothing changes. I am becoming sick and it feels as if I am slowly dieing. I feel anxious for this life to be over. Then I see him. The light of my life. The person that my mind revolves around. The one that broke my heart, I see him. But, I see him with her. The smiles they share the giggles they create. His arms wrap around her as she kisses his cheek. I am being ripped apart. He bends to whisper in her ear. ’I love you.’ I crumble. Once more. As if him leaving me wasn't’t enough, he has found someone else. Someone to replace me. Someone that is more then I can ever be. The tears fall and the mascara streams as he meets my gaze. He is gorgeous. His arms drop from her sides as he turns to face me. He makes a step toward me. I shake my head and turn the other direction. He asks me to wait, I run. I have to leave. I cant take anymore of this. I stop half way in the thought of killing myself as I turn back to head home. I walk slowly. Lifelessly. The wind nips at me face and pushes me further. The clouds stalk me over head. Getting darker and darker. The rain starts to fall and blends with my tears. I walk into the place I call home. I ignore the noises of my family and the sweet aroma from the kitchen. I proceed to my room. I struggle out of my wet cloths and curl up under the covers on my bed. I sit. I stare. I think. I cry. Nothing can get worse. The days pass. I cant eat. The nights fall. I cant sleep. The phone rings. I cant speak. I wish for it to end. I wish I was out of my misery. I wish that it could just be over. I think that repeatedly in my head as I close my eyes and hope that this world will be done with me….. The next morning her mother enters her room to see if she is ready to return to her life. School. Friends. She kneels by the girls bed. It appears that she is sleeping. Her mother smiles. This hasn't’t happened in such a long time. She strokes her daughters face and notices something wrong. Her skin is cold. Almost frozen. Her face is pale. Almost ghostly. Her mother starts to panic as she searches for a pulse. There is none. She starts to cry as she reaches for the phone. She dials 911. She reports what she has found. And soon the police come and the investigators arrive. They report that she is dead due to dehydration, starvation, and great depression. Her family is devastated. They start to make funeral arrangements. The mother calls the girls school and notifies them of the loss. The next afternoon, the principal calls an assembly for all the students. He comes. The one responsible for the horrible event. He listens to the story and cries more then anyone around him. He knows its his fault and he cant bare the thought. He calls the girls mother and asks when the funeral will be and where it will take place. He clears his agenda to attend the event. It is raining and depressing the day of the funeral. He makes his way to the viewing prior to the funeral. Pictures of her are everywhere, along with her favorite flowers. His eyes are drawn to one picture unparticular. One she is truly happy in. it is one with him. He cries and weeps. He makes his way to the open casket where she lays beautifully, lifelessly. His tears come stronger and stronger as he reaches for her hand. He holds it tight never wanting to let go. He leans in to her face and whispers in her ear. ‘I never should have let you go…’ he kisses her cheek and then her lips he pulls away and weeps more. he slides his watch off of his wrist and on to hers. His tears keep coming with no intention to stop. He kisses her hand one last time and turns away from the casket. He glances around the room seeing all the torn hearts of her friends and family. It hurts more as he thinks, I could have prevented this. But I did’t. he steps back and blends in with the wall. A man announces that it's time to close the casket. He runs to say goodbye just one last time. He meets his face to hers and whispers, ‘I love you.’ he kisses her again and lets go. The casket is closed and they ask every one but family to leave the room for the family prayer. He turns to head out when her mother reaches for his hand. ‘you are her family. Stay.’ he thanks her and gives her a hug. he listens silently to the sad words that escape the preachers mouth. he glances over to see her mother bawling in the arms of her husband. He cries more. Next they all file out and make their way to the cemetery. He was asked to be a bawl bearer. Even harder for him it was. To have to carry her to her resting place. But he did it strong. She was the one and only person he had ever loved and leaving her was the biggest mistake of his life. Him and the other bawl bearers set down the casket and stepped back. He listened to the story of her life and the words written by her friends and family. The final prayer was said and everyone continued to cry. Everyone started to leave before they lowered in the casket. He stayed. He watched. He wasn’t ready to let her go. It wasn’t till they started to bury the casket that she now lied in, dead, that he decided to leave. The guilt was overwhelming. He stole her heart. Then he left her and didn’t give it back. And now he will have it forever and he will hold it close. Once again he walks away from her. Never again will his life be the same. All he wants is to be with her again. But that cant happen. He can never bring her back





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pj. said...
Apr. 21, 2009 at 10:11 pm
ooh my godd! this is the most amazng most beautful thing ive ever read! goood job!!!! i absolutley loove love lovee it!
 
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