Man Disappointed To FInd Every Disc in New Sony Disc Changer is Just “Low R

April 24, 2018
By TorcherCharlie_ACS SILVER, Longmont, Colorado
TorcherCharlie_ACS SILVER, Longmont, Colorado
6 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here.
[laughs maniacally; starts to disappear]
You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself."
- Cheshire Cat, 1951


Craig Beatty, a local man from Charlotte, was ecstatic to open his birthday gift this year, but his bewilderment slowly became insanity as he slowly realized every disc contained within the machine his wife had given him was just  a single of War’s “Low Rider.”

Beatty reportedly phoned  local authorities soon after receiving the gift.
“I thought it must’ve been just a skipping error. My wife and kids were just jamming out, but I couldn’t bear it! That equates to roughly 18 minutes of torture!”

Screams could be heard cutting through loud slow motion edits of “Ohhh yeaah” and upbeat synth waves. By the time police arrived on the scene, they even believed the machine may become sentient if not dealt with soon.

Beatty was admitted to the local psychiatric ward last week,  for his and his family’s safety.



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