New Rules

March 22, 2018
By Bruvton GOLD, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Bruvton GOLD, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
19 articles 2 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They don't think it is what it does, but it do." ~Oscar Gamble


The Association of Dumbness in Everything Committee has recently come up with a bunch of new rules for schools worldwide after a complex brainstorm including Funness Depletion Committee research and International Rules Sorters collaborations. This has led them to discover that an epidemic was taking over schools, known as Frequently Uneducated Nothingness. They ruled that it had to end soon, so a series of rules called the “Anti-FUN Act but Acting is Now Illegal so It’s Actually a Bill” was created. It bans things such as opposite genders interacting in any way shape or form, skills at anything especially parkour, all types of tag games, and a horrible disease known as “Freedom”. They claim that “individualism, skill, and FUN, in general, is ruining lives everywhere.” Along with that, they are coming out with a new speeding ticket for running, biking, rollerblading… Just kidding. None of that is allowed. The speed limit for walking will soon be four hours per kilometre. A full video explaining all of the rules was going to be placed on YouTube, but they are trying to shut that down. It was instead posted on eduvid dot com, a video platform created by the committee where humour is strictly banned. In unrelated news, the suicide rate is at a record high.


The author's comments:

These rules are in place at our school. This was an article written for Yesterday News.


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