This is about a girl that tells her story about the tragitys in a girls life. She tells you about stuff she rembers but wishes she didnt.

My life started a little like this. As a little five year old kid dub enough to not know what the thing called cancer was. Getting told your grandpa has passed away meant nothing to me. 7 years old got told my dad didn't claim me at first. Parents separated, no grandpa, dads psycho girlfriend what a life right? Wrong.  One night laying in the house by the fireplace at my dads waiting for him and his girlfriend to come in. 1am came by nobody so I got out my little case of drawing materials and wrote “ let me sleep if you want to we could cuddle” dad came in with his girlfriend she started to yell at him when he layed by me. I pretended I was a sleep and I heard the yelling about something on facebook as I layed the other way crying as he says” buddy wake up we are going to go to grandpas.”  As I sat up wiping my tears not knowing what to say as I just listened to them fighting. He said “go get your pillow and a blanket” “ok daddy” I said in a light voice. We got by the door as his girlfriend looked at me and said buddy look at me and that what has got me the most that she called me buddy only my parents can call me that. I didn't even look at her. As we ran to the truck she ran right with us on my dads side and hit the window. He drove away. Down that long road a silent car ride. Got to grandpas and he tucked me in and said “ I love you buddy this wasn't meant to happen I love you.”   “ I love you too daddy.” I said  as  I sat there on that old couch as his phone rings I know it's crazy lady by the ringtone of blown away by Carrie Underwood, that song still makes this night go through my head all over again. I laid there crying replaying what just happened thinking its all my fault  because I wanted him to sleep by me on the floor. Still to this day I still think its my fault. The next day we woke up and my dad said “ I will be right back i'm going to go get you bag. As I sat there watching out the window for him to come back. Finally I saw a big black of dust and it was him going fast down the gravel road. I then came to my mom's house. What a night that was. The next thing was going there after that fight when she was gone and I still had nightmares of her car being in the garage.

 8 years old just getting to the point of knowing what cancer was and knowing that my grandpa is up in heaven. I miss him. I miss eating his cashews by his recliner. I miss his stinky lunch box. I miss his strawberry candies and root beer barrels in his car. I miss his red grand am
I miss him. I miss making him my special hot chocolate at the doctor that he was convinced would make him better . I miss him pushing me in his wheelchair eating tuna sandwiches. I miss his voice. I miss him so much nobody can understand. I know I only known him for 5 years but I can remember the little things If I think hard enough. It sounds bad but the thing I remember when I think of him is his hand. Purple, big hands,scary machines he's hooked to. The dark waiting room with cards in a little desk with the tv on it and playing 52 card pickup. I miss my grandpa. I remember his turtle balloon I got him at the gift shop. Today I have two teddy bears for him I have one with his ashes and one with his work clothes.

 1-17-18 was the day I went to my cousins to do homework. I then saw a call from my dad I thought why would he call me he only calls me for important stuff racing things through my head of what could have been going on while the phone rings. He sounded like he was crying. "Hi " I said in confusion on why he called " hi buddy we lost abbie dog this morning." as the tears that were waiting for this news came rushing down my face like a water fountain I sat there in complete silence. "ok" I said sadly
" I love you buddy" "I love you too." I said "bye" "Bye " I said sadly. I then said my dog died to my cousin. I thought she was going to make fun of me so I tried to make it not an awkward conversation.