With All My Love/Wherever You Are

February 15, 2018
By MK205 BRONZE, Centennial, Colorado
MK205 BRONZE, Centennial, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

My Witty Willow,
By the time you read this, I will be long gone. I’m so sorry to have to leave you with your grandparents. I know you don’t exactly get along with them, but just try to remember how much they love you, and how much I love you. You have turned out to be such a strong, independent young woman and I couldn’t be more proud to call you my daughter. There are a few things I need to tell you before I leave, but I just don’t have the courage to do it in person. Therefore, I’ve written six letters, each containing an important piece of information about you, your life, and/or our family. I love you so much, Sweetie! Never forget that. And remember, keep growing that beautiful garden of yours.
         With All My Love,
           Mom


Dear Mom,
Even though you’re gone, I feel like I owe you a response to each of your letters. Maybe I’m doing it to respect you, or maybe I’m doing it for my own closure. I don’t know. Whatever the reason, I hope you can see them from wherever you are. I really miss you. Staying with Mimi and Papa 24/7 is pure torture. Seriously, it’s like a living hell. They only let me stay home for two days to recover from losing you. I know how much they love me and want me to succeed, and I love them too, but they just don’t understand me. No one will ever understand me like you did. Like I’m sure you still do, wherever you are. I still haven’t read the other letters, but I can’t help wondering why you had to die before you could tell me whatever secrets are in them. Is it bad news? Do Mimi and Papa know? And why couldn’t you bring yourself to tell me in person? I know you can’t answer me from…wherever you are, but I’m just so curious. I guess I’ll find out on Thursday. The nurse said you told her to only give me one letter every other day. Knowing you, you want me to have time to read and re-read the letters, and process whatever life-changing news might be in them. You know me so well. I miss you so much. I guess I’ll see you in 80 years or so…assuming everything goes well. I love you, Mom!
         Love,
                Your Wilting Willow


My Wondrous Willow,
Alright. This is something I shouldn’t even have to tell you, but I made a stupid decision that didn’t even make a difference for me. It’s about your name. Your legal name. There is a reason I wouldn’t let you go on that school trip to France, and it’s because I didn’t want you to see your birth certificate. Your real name isn’t Willow Caverly. It’s Anna. Anna Willow Devlin to be more specific. Devlin was your father’s last name, and the name Anna was his idea. That’s why I decided to call you Willow. I wanted Willow to be your first name, and after your father left us I decided to take matters into my own hands. It was a stupid idea. Your name never affected the fact that you are my daughter and I love you. I’ll let you decide whether you want to go by Anna or Willow from now on. If you ask Mimi or Papa, I’m sure they’ll let you change your name legally if you decide to do so. I love you very much and, once again, I’m so sorry. Don’t let this be a weed in your beautiful garden.
         With All My Love,
           Mom


Dear Mom,
The fact that my name isn’t really my name doesn’t bother me as much as it probably should, but what were you thinking?! You could’ve at least changed my name legally too. It’s really not that hard. And why didn’t you change my last name too? I don’t want to be a Devlin; I’m not a Devlin, I’m a Caverly. Once dad left, I thought that was it. I thought he was out of the picture. I really wish you would’ve just told me. Especially since I didn’t get to go to France because of this. I wouldn’t have freaked out as much as you thought I would. But I guess I can forgive you. Because I know you feel guilty, wherever you are. Thanks for finally telling me the truth, I guess. Even if you didn’t exactly verbalize it, you still made sure I knew. So thanks. I still love you. And miss you. A lot. So…the end, I guess. I love you, Mom!
         Love,
                Your Weary Willow


My Whimsical Willow,
I’m sure you’re not too thrilled to be reading this letter after what you found out in the last one. And I don’t blame you. Unfortunately, I have made another mistake. I should have told you this and helped you overcome it instead of just ignoring it. I know how much you love dancing, and I also know how frustrated you get when the numbers get mixed up in your head. Well, there’s a reason for that. You have dyslexia. You were diagnosed when you were six, but I never told you. I was in denial. You were such a perfect child, and I just didn’t want anything to be wrong with you. I realize now though that there’s nothing wrong with being dyslexic, and you’re still the perfect child to me. I hope you can forgive me for yet another secret that you deserve to know. I know this is something that has been holding you back, and I should’ve given you the support you needed. I’ve written a separate letter to your grandparents telling them the truth as well and suggesting they get you a 504 at school. Once again, I am truly sorry, and I love you with all my heart. Please don’t let this ruin your beautiful garden.
         With All My Love,
           Mom


Dear Mom,
Ok, now I’m a little pissed off. I have dyslexia?! That is DEFINITELY something you should’ve told me! I can’t even believe you right now. You knew this was holding me back, and you said nothing! You’ve watched me cry in frustration because I can’t keep count when performing what should be a simple tap combo or because I can’t read whatever book we’re assigned to read for English. You watched me deal with this for 11 years before you said anything. I’ll be honest with you, I’m feeling very betrayed. And now you’ll never get the chance to redeem yourself, wherever you are. But I do want to thank you for one thing: you never let me give up. All those times I wanted to drop out of dance class or skip English, you were there to tell me no. And that made me the person I am today. Am I still mad? You bet. Should I be? Oh, hell yeah. But do I forgive you? Absolutely. You didn’t raise a quitter, and for that I am eternally grateful. I’m sorry for the outburst, even though you probably can’t read this, wherever you are. I was just shocked, and needed to get it out of my system. Once again, I still love and miss you more than anything in the whole entire world. I love you, Mom!
         Love,
                Your Weakened Willow

My Warmhearted Willow,
This next thing I’m about to tell you is something you can’t even tell your grandparents. They don’t know that I know this. Your grandfather is not your biological grandfather. Your grandmother had an affair, and had me as a result. Your biological grandfather’s name is Ralph Antonelli. He owns an Italian restaurant in the Bronx. I’ve never met him, but with enough snooping, I was able to find out who he was. He doesn’t know about me, so please do not contact him. And remember, you cannot tell your grandparents you or I know this. I don’t even think your grandfather knows. As frustrating as they can be to both of us, I don’t want to hurt them. Please don’t let this whither your beautiful garden.
         With All My Love,
           Mom


Dear Mom,
Your last letter, I’m actually ok with. I don’t mind that Papa isn’t my real grandpa. I mean, I’m not that close with him anyways. I’ve always wondered where you came from with your blue eyes. And you know you don’t have to worry about me telling Mimi or Papa, wherever you are. I don’t want to hurt them either. I really miss you, Mom. I’ve kind of passed the grief period and gone into shock. I guess that’s why I’m writing these letters. I love you, Mom!
         Love,
                Your Wistful Willow


My Worthy Willow,
This next secret is something you may not want to know, but I’d like you to keep reading regardless. It’s about your father. He died three years ago. The only reason I know this is because he left everything in his will to you. As your legal guardian, I was the one his lawyer contacted with the news. I know he left us, but I think you should accept it when you’re of age. He left you quite the inheritance. I won’t go into too much detail, but he left you enough money to get through college easily. Please, don’t let this hurt your beautiful garden.
         With All My Love,
           Mom


Dear Mom,
I hope you can read this letter from wherever you are. I don’t know why you’re telling me this. I don’t care about dad. Because of him, I have lived without a father for 15 years. I just don’t care. As for his will, I’ll think about it. I guess paying for college is the least that bastard could do after what he did to us. I still don’t care though. And if there’s some type of apology letter in his will, I refuse to read it. I refuse to ever forgive him. He’s not the parent who stuck by me for 17 years. He’s not the one who sang to me to calm me down every time there was a thunderstorm. He’s not the one who checked on me every hour for 72 hours when I had the stomach flu. He’s not you. I love you, Mom!
         Love,
                Your Wallowing Willow

 


My Wonderful Willow,
I’m sad to say that this will be my last letter. But before I tell you what it is I need to tell you, I want to apologize. I have left this world, no, I have left you too soon. There are so many things left unsaid and undone. This was supposed to be a surprise, but I was planning on taking you to Italy this summer for your birthday. The tickets are already paid for so Mimi will be taking you instead. I’m so sorry I can’t be there for more of your life and your accomplishments. The fact that I wasn’t able to fight is something I will never forgive myself for. I’m sorry. I’m also sorry about this next secret I kept from you. You have a half-sister. When I was in college I got pregnant from a drunken mistake and decided to give the baby up for adoption. Your grandparents never knew. Her name is Violet Elizabeth Harris, if you want to look her up. She lives in New Orleans, Louisiana. I’m so sorry I kept her from you, but she was a part of my past, so I didn’t think it would matter that much. Don’t let this dry up your beautiful garden. If anything, let Violet join your beautiful garden. And never forget how much I love you Willow.
         With All My Love,
           Mom


Dear Mom,
I’ll get back to my half-sister later, but first, please don’t ever feel like you need to apologize for leaving. It wasn’t your fault. I’m excited for Italy, but I wish it was you taking me instead. But please, forgive yourself! You can’t help what happened. To quote Martina McBride, “Cancer don’t discriminate.” I still love you, and know you’ll always be there for me. Now, about my half-sister. I’m not sure if I should be mad that you kept this from me, or excited that I’m not an only child anymore. I think the latter would be better for both of us. I think I may consider finding her. But I’ll make sure Mimi and Papa don’t find out. Well, I guess this is it. My last letter. And yours too. I’m really going to miss you. So much. I love you, Mom! And don’t you ever forget it…wherever you are.
         Love,
                Your Weepy Willow


The author's comments:

This type of writing is called an epistolary piece. It is a fictional conversation between two or more characters written in the format of a letter. Hope you enjoy it!


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