February 14, 2018
By Anonymous

It has now been almost 3 months and she’s still crying. She has cried every day since, she hasn’t been okay. No one has asked her or even noticed that she hasn’t been the same person she was a few months ago. She felt alone and angry and she was just so sad,she didn’t understand why this was happening to her. “What did I do? Where did I go wrong? Can I fix this? Why is he so mad at me? Does he hate me? It’s all my fault.” she thought to herself.As the day ended it only got worse for her she felt as if everything she had was walking away right in front of her and there was nothing she could do about it.

It’s the next day,she didn’t want to go to school,so she faked being sick. Her mother had to work her dad was out of town and her sister was at school,so she was gonna be home alone. She went back to sleep for a few hours to try to get her mind off of things.But she woke up still she couldn’t get rid of that horrible feeling,she tried to eat but she couldn’t hold down any food because she had been crying so much.Later that day at around 4 p.m. she went to bathroom and started a hot bath,she waited for the bathtub to fill up. She then took off her clothes and got in and just sat there for a little while and it was actually relaxing, then she started to think about everything and it’s like it never left,she immediately started crying. She looked to her side where her razor was and grabbed it, she broke the blade and continued on to cut herself. This time she had gone deeper than ever, she went to her right arm then her left and cut downwards to where the bleeding would be harder to stop. She just sat there, empty, no tears no feelings period she was done she couldn’t cry anymore, she thinks she did something to deserve this emotional and physical pain. There was nothing she wanted to do but sit there and wait to bleed out.
Moms Point of View:
I come in and it was so quiet you could hear a pen drop in the next room. I call for Gracey and get no response. “Gracey! Im home!” and still no reply where could she be? I go upstairs and look in her room but she isn’t there I go look in the game room and she isn’t there either. So I go to the bathroom only to find a horrific sight, I run to her afraid. Gracey! What did you do? What happened? Are you ok? Gracey! Answer me please!!! Im sorry! I should’ve been here for her! I run back downstairs I get the phone and dial 9-1-1. They immediately answer the call.
Operater: 911 state your emergency.
Me: I came home and found my daughter bleeding out in the bathroom!! I need an ambulance! Now! The address is 3303 County road 1403.
Operater: Okay mam stay calm! We have an ambulance on their way right now!
Me: Im trying. I have to call my husband and tell him.
Operater: No, mam we have to sta… (dial tone)

Gracey,baby stay with me!! Please! NO!!! Don’t go!! I LOVE YOU! Im sorry!!! Don’t close your eyes please!!!!! (In a calm crying voice) It will be okay, you’re okay… you see please don’t let go.
Graceys’Point of View:
As my vision fades I hear my mom trying to keep me conscious but everything is just fading getting more faint by the minute. Then just like that within the next 3 minutes everyhing stops,It all goes black. I wake up and see my mom sitting in the bathroom next to something crying on the floor. I tried to ask her what was wrong but she wouldn’t even look at me it’s like she was ignoring me or couldn’t hear me. I sit there hugging her waiting for her to stop crying for about 25 minutes then I hear a door and some screams in the kitchen. Its dad. He runs up stairs and into the bathroom, im telling him that mom is crying and I don’t know why but he is ignoring me as well. Here we go again, Why is everyone so mad at me? What did I do so wrong to make even my own parents hate me? There’s nothing else I could do to get them to talk to me I have tried everything so I just leave the bathroom and go to my room. I fell asleep crying, when I woke up there was a salt like taste in my mouth from my tears I had a really bad dream I think it was a nightmare, no one would talk to me and in the end I was dead. I go downstairs to get something to eat and I dont find anything I want so I call out for mom but no one answers I think she has gone to work so I go back upstairs because i still a little tired and I go back to sleep. I am awoken to someone coming in my room and I think its dad or my mother and I seem to be right my mom comes in and she is bawling her eyes out she won’t say anything to me though. She just comes in and lays down on my bed. It’s like she doesn’t even see me like i’m invisible and she just keeps repeating I miss her so much,I need my baby back. And crying but i’m right here.Why can’t she see me? I walk in the kitchen and hear my parents whispering to keep something hidden but its like it wasn't from me it’s like they were hiding it from my sister. They say something like How am I supposed to tell her that her sister is dead she's 7 years old?! What does she mean dead? Who’s dead? Im right here?! I panic and run to the bathroom.I look in the bathtub and there I am, a lifeless me. When did this happen this doesn't make any sense. I just sit there in silence but this time it feels a little more peaceful. Im dead, I don't have to worry about making people mad anymore or cutting or anything. I'm free and it's amazing.

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