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I Won’t Let Go This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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     Today was a really good day. All my music sounded really good, everything tasted wonderful to my ears. I read about Paris, listened to love and made myself a sandwich. I wanted to go on a long trip, be it in a car, an airplane, even a train. And I wanted to take you with me, but I’m sure you know that. I wanted to take you to the bookstore and buy you a book so we could read together while we traveled.

I wanted you to pick me up in your car and drive us to the bookstore so we could look at the books. I wanted us to be together in the quiet of the books, and I wanted us to pick up books and read their backs. You’d read your books and I’d read mine. And then I would come across one that had something fancy on the cover and I would read the back and flip through the first few pages and it would sound like something you’d like. So I would show it to you and say that I really think it sounded like something you’d like, and at the same time you’d hand me a book and say, “This sounds like a book you’d like.” And I want us both to look through these books, and I want them to be the most interesting books we’ve ever come across. And we would buy them, and the cashier would tell us to have a great day and to enjoy our books. And we would.

I really wanted this to happen, and I really wanted us to realize that we were almost late for our flight. We would have to speed to the airport, and we wouldn’t be able to get coffee because we’d be late. And it’s so cold out! I wanted to wear scarves and hats and gloves, and I wanted to hold your hand while we ran through the airport. We’re not late for our flight though, there’s a half-hour delay, so we can get coffee after all and relax in the gray plastic seats that are connected together in the waiting area. I wanted us to throw away the bag that our books came in, and I wanted us to call our moms to let them know that we got to the airport okay.

Of course, I would want the window seat, but I wouldn’t have to say so because you’d already know. You know I don’t like sitting on the aisle, and it doesn’t bother you to let me sit by the window. But even though I wouldn’t want to sit next to someone I didn’t know, I would like being surrounded by strangers. We wouldn’t know anyone on our flight, but it would be okay. This way we wouldn’t be forced to talk with them. We could surround ourselves with each other and block out everyone else. I wanted there to be a young mother and her infant sitting next to you, across the aisle, but she was really young, and she knew we were magnificent, so she would politely introduce herself, and then leave us alone. If we wanted to make conversation with her we could. Easily. But we were still fascinated by each other, even after having known each other for years. We were learning more about each other every day, and although we liked other people, we were still blown away by one another.

And today music was so good! It was so sweet, and the words were so clever and witty. It made me want to show you everything that I think is beautiful. Every silver-toned song I hear, every smoothly worded book I read, every bright-colored painting I see. I want to show you all of it. There’s so much, and I want us to experience it all together. I want us to share beautiful things, and I want you to tell me what you think is beautiful.

So today, while reading about Britney, listening to colors, and eating potato chips, I thought about how much I wanted this. How much I wanted to make that trip with you, to do everything with you. I really want to spend time with you, enhancing our minds and learning new things. I want us to let ourselves dissolve into separate worlds while remaining stuck together in this world. I want us to listen to different music and read different books, and live in different times for a little while. Because then we’ll come back and tell each other about every lovely thing we saw, every lovely thing we felt. We’ll tell each other about all the marvelous sounds we heard and all the wonderful things we learned. And it will become ours, and we’ll keep it.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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LilJ<3 said...
Apr. 11, 2009 at 12:03 am
This was great...Keep Writting you have true talent,
♥ Jackie
 
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