Cheese it smuggling

January 16, 2018
By jaidynshahan BRONZE, Bozeman , Montana
jaidynshahan BRONZE, Bozeman , Montana
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Cheez its are what fueled the students of Skyline High. After every period there was a line from one side of the cafeteria to the other of students eagerly waiting to buy their bag of cheez its.   Classes were filled with glorious bursts of cheese every time someone would open a bag. Cafeterias were stocked 24/7 with so many bags there was hardly any room for anything else. Everything was going great until one day the school hired a new principle. The principal's name was Craig Buff. He was 6’ 7” and weighed 280 pounds. There was a rumor that he glanced at a freshman and he passed out and fell down the stairs, he spent 2 whole weeks in the hospital! Another person told me that she had him for gym class at her elementary school and saw him drinking raw eggs with steel nails! He’s the most intimidating man to ever walk this Earth. He had two large posters clenched in his fists as he stormed down the long hallway to the cafeteria. He posted both posters up on either side of the walls that read in bold “`CHEEZ ITS ARE PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM SKYLINE HIGH.” Everyone was a furious cluster of crying, cursing, and screaming. Not one person showed up for class for the rest of the day. Everyone was in shock.

The next few days were gloomy and depressing. School was just not the same. Cafeterias were empty, the classrooms didn’t have that glorious cheese smell, and all that was left to eat was stale sun chips leftover from last year when the senior class president thought it was a good idea to add some diversity for snacks. School was starting to become unbearable. Students started to become anxious and randomly seizing in the middle of class from cheez it withdrawals. Someone needed to do something. The first two people to take action were Brenda Andersen and Liam Kingston; the two coolest seniors of the school. They were so hungry and sick and knew they couldn’t take another day without eating their beloved cheez its so they decided to put a bag in each of their hoodies and then very carefully slip the bags into their lockers as soon as they got to school. Little did they know they were the beginning of a revolution, the “Cheez it smuggling revolution.”

People would stop in between periods to get their taste of cheese from Brenda and Liam’s lockers. By the end of the week the whole school knew about their secret cheez it stash and lines started to form from their lockers to the end of the hallways. Teachers started to become suspicious. The only thing that could be causing this much commotion would be the forbidden cheez its. Within two weeks Brenda and Liam were caught red handed and suspended. Little did the school know all this did was anger the rest of the school even more and motivated them to find a better way to smuggle in cheez its.

There were spots all around the school grounds for students to stop: in trees, under the bleachers, hidden under rocks, even stashed in designated car gas caps. Brenda and Liam became the top distributors of the school. They perfected the smuggling techniques and gained even more popularity. Things were going really well until they were assigned their senior project requirements for the year. Their teacher partnered them up and gave them the topic of “raising awareness of addiction”. For their outreach they were required to interview Mr.Buff about his knowledge on addiction.

The two kids went into the principal's office during lunch for the interview. Little did they know that what they were about to learn about Mr.Buff was going to change their outlook on cheez its forever. Brenda first started the interview by asking, “Principal Buff, what are your concerns or thoughts on addiction?”.

He replied,“It was a long time ago when my addiction began. I was only just beginning to grow my first adult teeth in when my best friend at the time fed me the mouth watering cheez it. There was no turning back once I had my first taste. I began to use the money that was meant for my bills to purchase bulks of cheez its. I was going through boxes a day, I was unstoppable. Soon enough I was on the streets, sleeping in cardboard boxes next to other cheez it lovers like me. I knew I had to get my life together. I finally decided I needed to reach out to my family and admit I had a serious life threatening problem. I started having major heart palpitations and my arteries were blocked with cheese. I had read online about a cheez it rehab located in the middle of the Sahara desert. I did sweat lodges three times a day. I was forced to eat spinach and take valium for my withdrawals. Once I was done with this three month retreat I decided I was ready to get back on my feet and try and live a normal life. I applied for a gym teacher position and the elementary school. After that I began my job as a principle here. When I walked in and saw all the cheez its and all of the kids with the same addiction I knew I had to ban the cheez its before you all ended up like me. So for this reason, I will not un-bann cheez its because I don’t want you to follow my path. It’s a serious addiction and a serious problem.”

Brenda and Liam were left speechless after the principle had finished his devastating story. They decided to cut everyone off from the cheez its and started the movement, “Cheez its...Not even once.” They even got featured on the local news channel and they raised awareness for addicted cheez it lovers everywhere. They were able to save almost all the students from being addicted for life, all but three students. The three students were named, Kurt C, Lindsay L, and Amy W. They became the top rebels of Skyline High. Seeing these students struggle with their cheez it addiction greatly disturbed Principle Buff. He wanted to help but didn’t know how. He decided to start a self help group at lunch. All students were welcome to come and talk about their personal struggles and overcoming them. The first lunch Amy W. and Kurt C. did not show up. However, Principle Buff was happily surprised to see Lindsay L. sitting quietly in the corner. Later that night while watching the local news Principle Buff was shocked when listening to a frantic reporter talking about the overdoses of Kurt C. and Amy W. They were found dead at the park with open bags of cheez its everywhere, their mouths were foaming with orange dust. After this incident, Lindsay seeked out more help for addiction in honor of her friends.

After seeing the dramatic change in all the students at Skyline High, Principle Buff knew he had made the right decision. He noticed all of the respect he was getting from the students and the progress in their schoolwork since they quit the cheez its. Student’s relationships with Principal Buff started to excel. The school was now thriving and addiction throughout the school decreased dramatically.

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