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Walking into a dimly lit room, I find myself greeted by two middle aged men sitting at a long table with one chair on the other side. I assume it's for me and take my seat. The man on the left announces himself as Lucifer and the other as God.
Lucifer: How was the trip?
Me: I don't remember it
Lucifer: Ah right, well I hope you're feeling well
Me: Shouldn’t you know?
Lucifer: (laughing) Funny guy, just trying to be polite is all.
Me: What’s your name again?
God: Well you are sitting across the table from the two most famous figures in history. And yet you hold your calm. Why and how if I may ask?
God: Yes but in your head what is going on?
Me: Again, shouldn’t you know?
God: Yes but this is a first. It's very different, very calm, very relaxed. Is it natural or purposeful?
Me: Did you just call me a “it”?
God: I'm referring to your mind.
Me: Oh well you made it you would know better than me.
God: But I didn’t.
Me: Then what did you do?
God: I just start the process and let life as it is do the work. My part is the most minimal. I simply build the base and watch how it grows, like a plant. You were a seed that I planted in the world and I just get to watch you grow.
Me: And you just do this for the fun of it?
God: I do it because it intrigues me to see what will happen next. At first it was only things I created to create. Things like dinosaurs. But one day I was compelled to create something different. In my image as you say. And I came up with man. I did make it a evolutionary occurrence so that there was reason behind it and it could be explained. I never knew it would go this far. The things that have happened over the course of mankind were unimaginable. I didn’t make this you all did. I guided a little bit to avoid catastrophe every now and then but I mostly just sit and watch what happens next.
Me: Fair enough
Lucifer: So that's it? Just fair enough?
Me: What do want me to say to that?
Lucifer: I don't know, we just usually get questioned a lot more. You're a little too relaxed it’s freaking me out.
Me: I shook the devil (laughs)
Lucifer: You don’t have any questions? Needs? Wishes?
Me: Which one of yall get me in the end?
God: That is not decided yet you are too young.
Me: Good to know
Lucifer: Anything else? You gotta want some answers.
Me: Are you really that mean?
Lucifer: Of course not. People still think we are mad at eachother when in reality it was a two day fight between friends. We are more of a partnership at this point we don’t hate each other and I don’t hate anyone either. I just play my role as the necessary evil that brings variety to the choices people make and the way life goes. I do the bad things so you can do the good things. I bring out character you could say.
Me: Did you do Trump? Don’t even answer that I already know.
Lucifer: Exactly (Laughs)
God: You are very smart. Im very proud of your journey so far.
Me: Compliment of a lifetime. Thank you.
Lucifer: Let’s get to some real conversation.
God: This isn't real enough for you?
Lucifer: Nah, I need more. Have you ever wanted to kill someone?
Lucifer: Hurt someone?
Lucifer: Fight someone?
Me: Maybe I don’t remember, you tell me.
Lucifer: Nah ( He says with a grin )
Me: Have you ever tried to make me?
Lucifer: Ooohhh, well of course but I stopped after 6th grade because you were always this weird, relaxed, nothing could phase him type of kid so I got bored.
Me: You must hate me then
Lucifer: No you interest me more than you aggravate me
Me: But I do aggravate you
Lucifer: Just a little. I can’t fully do my job with you.
Me: So I aggravate and freak out the devil, and god thinks i'm smart and is proud of me. I think I’m doing pretty good so far.
God: That you are
Lucifer: I think we all three have a healthy relationship with each other.
God: Seems that way