Glowing

January 3, 2018

July 28, 1970, Daphne Mc.Wilson


My mother was doing that thing she did every day, that thing with the rag in the sink. Her curly brown bob swung back and forth as she hummed a lullaby, you could see her gray roots seeping through the dye in her hair. Her dark blue blouse was wrinkled around her arms, and you could see the sweat drip down her hand from the hot Pennsylvania air. Every drop of sweat that dripped down her arm exposed the makeup she places on her wrist, When she lifted her arm up to wipe her forehead the corner of the ink from the tattoo was revealed, the Tattoo consisted of a black crow with a gold arrow in the heart of the crow. She looked back at me and smiled,” Did you sleep well sweetie”, she asked with a crooked smile, the dimples on her cheeks were more defined and it made her look younger. “ I slept great thanks for asking”, I loved my mom of course I did but everyone in the house knew she was unhappy

 

July 30, 1970, Daphne Mc.Wilson


I threw on my tye dye tank top and my bell bottom jeans and did a little twirl around my room, I picked up my tiny black comb and combed my long black hair, I was doing my mascara to compliment my hazel brown eyes when I heard the phones ring I heard a shuffle out of my parents room and my mother’s heels clicking softly on the wood floor,” Honey who is it”, I heard my dads hoarse voice and realized he was annoyed with her. “ It’s okay sweetie, just the neighbor’s in 2B they want to borrow some salt,” she said in the fake wife voice she uses every time she communicates with my father.


“Hurry up and get back here we have to go to the luncheon as soon as possible and the lemon tarts are still not made,” at this point, he was pissed off. I giggled to myself slightly my mom always uses the neighbor excuse when she’s talking to Andrew… Andrew lives in our building in room 1C. Now he’s my age and my mom is in Love with him or that's what you could call it he’s a busboy and the one guy I’ve ever liked sadly my lovely mother got to him before me and I had no choice she sat me down in August and told me she was in Love with him and that I needed to pretend to date him, so Andrew became my “Boyfriend”


She looked me straight in the eyes and told me she was gonna leave my father immediately and almost a year later I’m still pretending to date my mom’s boyfriend, Now don't take this the wrong way I mean it’s just life, or at least that’s what my mom says

August 23, 1970, Daphne Mc Wilson


“ Honey, your ice cream is melting”, My mom whispered to me


It was our annual Mother-Daughter meeting, the time when tells me secrets and I try to cover them up from my dad. “Okay,” I replied rolling my eyes. “Daphne”, she said with a growl her forehead creased as she glared at me and as I tried to turn away from her she grabbed my hand, her white acrylic nails dug into my skin and the pain made me wince.“Daphne, he’s gonna kill me..”, her expression changed and I realized she was actually scared


“ Who are you talking about Andrew?” The expression on my face was shocked and confused
“No, you idiot, you’re stupid


father,” as she said this she groaned and leaned back in her seat, she looked like a fifteen-year-old child the way she was wearing an old Beatles t-shirt and how she let her hair be free and there it was the tattoo of the crow.


“J**us mom, what the hell did you do this time?” I asked my heart was beating fast and I could feel the sweat dripping down my chest. She giggled like a sly cat and licked her lips, she was silent for a minute then she got up and opened the old window over the sink, she nudged at it for 30 seconds until the old paint cracked and the hot summer air flew in she took a deep breath and adjusted her t-shirt.“F*** Daphne, I screwed up this time,”
“Mom, What did you do?” I asked, at this point, I was screaming.She turned to me and gave me her sly little smile she threw her head back and laughed like a hyena, her brown bob shook as her laugh grew louder and her red lipstick smeared as she lifted her hands to her lips.


“MOM?” I asked with panic in my voice


She stared at me and smiled tears coming down her eyes as she continued laughing and pushed a tiny white stick on the table.


“ Congratulations Daphne, you're gonna be an older sister,” as she said this she pulled out her pack of camels and lit it with her cherry red Zippo lighter.

September 12, 1970, Daphne McWilson


She hummed as she did the thing she did every day with the rag. My dad had just left for work and Andrew was visiting, usually, at these times I would avoid them, but I was getting sick of my mom’s constant lies and bullshit. I got up and opened my old dresser I smiled at the tiny spots of nail polish that had been left over the years and I pulled out my pink rose dress, The dress toned my body perfectly it showed my pear shaped body and it showcased the black beauty marks that lay on my chest it was always the best feature of my body and I never gave up a chance to showcase it, I took my curling iron and curled my long black hair and then pulled it back with a bobble and then I finished the look off with my mom’s signature red lipstick, As I walked out into the kitchen I saw my mom’s expression change. “ Daphne, What the f*** are you wearing? You look like a f***ing whore,” I smiled I knew I had pissed her off. She had always been jealous of me ever since I was four years old she used to cut my hair short and dress me up in boy clothes so that she could keep her dignity, but now being sixteen I had some sort of power over her. “ You look nice Daphne,” Andrew said I’m not gonna describe Andrew he’s not worth it, he won’t be here much longer. I smiled and walked over to the old white sink and saw the pack of camels, I knew this was my opportunity I picked up the pack off camels and grabbed her red Zippo lighter “What the f*** do you think you’re doing with that,” she asked clearly pissed of, I threw my head back and laughed “Oh Mom, I’m allowed to smoke” she glared at me her forehead creasing.”Do you know why mom?” I asked and did my best to imitate her sly smile. “Because I’m not the pregnant one,” I threw my head back and enjoyed my second of glory, but the second I lifted my head up I felt a pierce and my ears started to ring, she had whipped her hand across my face, the slap was such a surprise I fell back into the sink and when I opened up my eyes I saw her, perfect red lips with a sly smile and curly brown bob and I knew she was the devil in human form…

September 14, 1970, Daphne McWilson


Andrew left a day later no message or anything he was just gone, clearly, he couldn’t handle the pressure of being a father. So my mom’s next plan went into action she was gonna lie to my father and pretend the baby was his. He was so gullible he would have believed it. He would have..


“You are a f***ed up human being Daphne”, My mom said with her usual glare


“ the same could be said about you”, I replied


“Oh Daphne, what could I ever do wrong,” she asked sincerely


I turned around not being able to look her in the eyes.The tone of my voice changed, “you’ve lied about my real father for years you have cheated on your husband with too many people to count, your forty years old and don’t have a job and do so many drugs I’m surprised your functioning and now your having Andrew’s baby and telling my GOD DAMN FATHER IT’S HIS CHILD,” as I said this last part, my dad walked in. “what?” he asked you could see the dark circles under his eyes and a part of me felt sorry for him. He dropped his briefcase and unbuttoned his overcoat. “Honey don’t listen to Daphne it’s just a stage she’s going through,” my mom said with a giggle. “Daphne that's not a funny thing to lie about,” my father said with a grunt, I walked up to him and stared him straight in the eyes and said “Dad, think about it”

October 12, 1970, Daphne McWilson


On October 11, 1970, my mom had a miscarriage, I looked into her eyes and saw the pain of her losing a child, as she cried I saw her black crow and realized the crow was her.. Broken.. Dying but still alive. I walked up to the broken woman laying on the black and white tile, her brown bob looked like wet sand and her brown eyes were weak and drooping with pain. “Mom?” I asked with a small smile. She turned away and pulled out her pack of camels and her cherry red Zippo lighter and smiled “Oh, Daphne McWilson, I gave up my life, I gave up everything for you, and you will never understand that until you do it I love you, Daphne.”

Epilogue


My mom never spoke to me after that day. I went to college and graduated and she didn’t talk to me, I had my first kid and she didn’t talk to me it wasn’t until 1982 when I got the call my mom had been killed by Arthur McWilson my father after an argument over my younger sister, I got the call and cut my beautiful black hair into a little curly bob I put on my mom’s signature red lipstick and pulled out a pack of camels lit it with a cherry red lipstick and walked over to the sink and started do that thing she did every day, that thing with the rag in the sink, the thing that ended up to her death as the blood entered the sink water I knew the cycle had started again…






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