Bloody Mary

April 5, 2009
By Rose Hamp BRONZE, London, Utah
Rose Hamp BRONZE, London, Utah
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

People wonder why I like to dream. They call it daydreaming, but not me, because it's always nighttime in my dreams. When I'm actually sleeping, it's different. And it's all the same. Night by night I express my anger, my anger at everyone in this univers. From nine to seven I enjoy myself. I hurt others. But it's just dreams, so who cares.

As usual, the teacher never showed up. He couldn't stand us and quit. The school didn't find a replacement.

For once I wasn't in the mood for drawing. It was weird, but I just filed my nails through the class. Well, almost all the class.

The class is ususally always silent. Sending spitballs, doing their own thing. But not today.

"Hey, have you guys head of Bloody Mary?" Jason was in a circle with all his friends, most of the class, mostly boys.
"Yeah!" screamed Andrew. "She's scary, man. You have to go in the washroom and turn off the lights, plus lock yourself in! Then say her name 3 times. And she hurts you. And she's real."
"Yeah, right, you id*iot!" said Jason. "Infact, I'm going to call her up tonight"
"Seriously?? Dude, you shouldn't!" exclaimed Anthony.
"Oh, come on you guys, don't be chickens, she's just another emo" said Jason.

And that's when anger struck.
And that's when I saw HIM.

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This article has 1 comment.

on Apr. 8 2009 at 5:01 pm
Denae Worcester BRONZE, Castle Rock, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 31 comments
There's no wrapping up at the end, and nothing's explained. You DID know that Bloody Mary is one of the names used to describe Queen Mary of England of several hundred years ago, right? We never learn your main character's name (unless it's Mary?).

Your characters have no dimension or personality. It just ends....

If you make it longer and explain a few things, this could be a neat little story. Otherwise, it just doesn't make sense.

Why is she angry? Why didn't the teacher show up really? Why does she just file her nails and eavesdrop, and why is her idea of fun to torture people?


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