If it wasn’t for the light glaring down on me from above, it would be pitch black.  Night would be consuming everything and darkness everyone.  As I put one foot in front of the other, I can feel my nose becoming purple and my fingertips so frozen it hurts. There is a blanket of white snow on the ground everywhere.  My teeth are so cold, I think they are going to fall right out.  The air is brittle and bitter.  It reminds me of Jack Frost.

As I stride along the street I look around into the emptiness of our world.  Nothing really matters. I walk, determined, and every time I step into the light I step right out again.  When I am in the darkness I have no joy and it is very hard to leave.  It’s like a vicious circle.  There are people but they aren’t really there.  They are colorless and lifeless.  “He” already got to them.  The light is the only place I am safe.  I must keep walking though.  I can’t stop in the light.  “He” will find a way.  “He” always finds a way.

  I see, in the distance, another person like me.  She is young.  Younger than me, maybe eight.  She is crumpled in a ball under the street lamp.  I continue to take even strides, but never redirect my glance from that young, scared girl.  She looks like she is taking cover from something while she silently cries.  I can see the tear stained sidewalk beneath her.  I can see the terror on her face.  She knows “he” is here.  “He” is right in front of her.   Staring, waiting and planning.  She knows “he” will consume her.  I take a step into the light and my legs lock.  I stand there looking at the little girl.  I can see “his” hand reaching into the light surrounding her.  “His” hand is dark and cold, almost metallic.  The sight of it sends a terrifying shiver up my spine.  It is as though “he” is darkness himself. 

She sobs and covers her stuffed, pink bunny with snot and tears.  All of a sudden, my legs bend and I stumble forward, into the darkness.  I can vaguely hear a girl gasp and I break into a sprint.  I can see the light it is just ahead.  It’s right there.  I just have to get to the light.  I have terror-filled eyes as my legs become heavy and my feet become weights.  I am so close.  I can feel “his” presence approaching though.  Fast. 

Five steps away from the light.  I take one big step and drive me knee into the air, pulling all my weight forward.  I reach out to grab a hold of the light and there is a tight grasp around my ankle.  I fall flat on my stomach and face.  My fingertips are in the light and “his” grip around my ankle is loose.  I lunge to the light and I feel “his” presence fade. I land inside the platform of light and get as close to the center of the circle as possible.  My mind is racing because I know that touch from somewhere.  That grasp felt like the touch my sister uses when she grabs my hand and says, “I’m talking to you.”  How is this possible?  Did “he” get to her? 

I look around for that little girl.  She is still on the other side of the street.  She must’ve used the chase as an escape because she was a just a little behind me and still running.  I can see the panic in her eyes.  She is fast though.  She barely reaches the light, but she accidently dropped her little bunny right outside of the blaring light.  She starts to walk towards the darkness.  Then she stops and turns to look at me.  She is questioning herself.  With terrified, but sympathetic eyes I shake my head.  She looks at me with eyes so big they looked like golf balls.  She has these big crocodile tears erupting in them.  She takes a step back and begins to cry again.

I look around to see where I am.  To my right is a big red fire hall.  The lights are off inside.  To my left is the street and right next to the light pole I am underneath is a big flower pot with carnations, begonias, and marigolds all clumped together.  The carnations are this pastel orange color.  It reminds me of the early showings of a sunrise.  The begonias and marigolds contradict each other.  The begonias are this stormy sky purple.  The marigolds are so yellow it looks like the sun stained its pedals.  It’s kind of like life.  You are either happy or barely surviving.

            As I am looking, I catch a glimpse of a light on the same side of the street as the little girl.  For some reason it is large than the rest.  I think I could make it.  I could distract “him” while the little girl gets there.  I make eye contact with the girl and nodded towards the light she nods.  I take off.  My heart is racing and I can barely breathe.  I can feel “him” coming.   About half way I catch a glimpse of the girl taking off.  All of a sudden, I can’t feel “him” approaching.  The bitterness of “his” presence begins to fade.  “His” coldness is fleeing fast and “he” is now going in the direction of the girl.

  I don’t know what to do.  I reach the light.  And I whip around and see the girl reaching for me.  I extend my arm toward her but I can see her becoming colorless.  She is becoming grey and faded.  I step back knowing there is nothing I can do to help her.  “He” has consumed her. She is now “him”.  I look under the place where “she” is now standing.  Lying on the ground is a lump of the body “he” used as a host.  The body is helpless.  I can’t save her.  I watch as she slowly makes her way to her feet.  Her head slowly forces its way up and I step back at the sight of her eyes. 

It is my sister and her eyes are pale and it isn’t her anymore.  She is gone and now I am alone.  What is the point anymore? I have nothing to fight for.  Looking at her makes me sink to my knees.  My arms sag and my head hangs.  As I fall forward into the darkness I can feel the snow reach for my fingertips and my grape-colored sweatpants soak in the moisture. Thoughts race in and out of my head.  “No more running.”  “Let go.”  “Just give up.”  A dark, shattered voice breaks through the bitter air.  It was “him,” Depression.  “Time to let go…”